Sex with others, what is your style?

[cocpl2007]

Frivolous to polyamorous

Vegas Lee’s post on the definitions provoked some discussion between Mrs. Co and me.

There are two very well understood groups within the Lifestyle community.

Frivolous: Those who are only interested in your body parts, playing with them, and moving on. They do not need to know your mind (or your name) to enjoy your body.

Polyamorous: Those who must be in love with someone to share sexual relations, involving more than two people.

How about us Lifestylers in-between:

Friends First?

The brain is a body part, too?

Sex is emotional, and there must be some emotional connection to engage in sex?

Having sex with you involves more than sex with you? There must be some knowledge of past experiences to know how many people you are having sex with, when you have sex with that person. (STDs/STIs)

Where do you fall within this spectrum?

[SCcpl40]

We're into sex, but we're into people as well, so for us they go hand in hand. We look for couples we can enjoy opportunities in and out of the lifestyle. Physical attraction as well and being compatible conversationalist go along way. We like to go out to dinner, take trips with our friends, and hang out in vertical bars. So if someone from our vertical world runs into us with our horizontal friends, it's not an awkward scene. And it's not obvious why we're with them.

[Tia Vampire]

We don't have to be friends with you to have sex with you, but you will get better sex from us if we are friends. Most that we will do with someone who we are not friends with is missionary, doggy, and oral. For someone that we are more comfortable with we love trying all the sex positions, we are definatly more open with them, more vocal, do things outside of the bedroom, maybe some play time during the week, ans vacations together.

[gatorvol64]

As someone in a polyamorous relationship, I have to say that it hasn't been our experience to find many others wanting that. (Now, that could be because we were not looking for one at all and just didn't notice.) We (the Gator/Vol half of the quad) have never thought being friends first was required exactly. We like to have conversations as well as sex so someone we could do that with was required. I think I've described it in the past as we preferred someone we felt we had the "potential" to be friends with.

Vol

[JustAskJulie]

Open to anything, except Polyamory. We are happy to make friends but it's not a requirement. We'd probably rather have sex with you before we become friends, but there are others we are more likely to have sex with after we are friends (because what we've learned about them in the process has made them more attractive to us). However, We aren't interested in developing emotional attachments with anyone outside of our primary relationship.

[willyoats]

My wife is a one-man-woman when it coms to love. She has had many partners as a swinger and really likes a lot of the guys. However, she has never become emotionally involved beyond friendship.

I am not quite like that. One of my partners and I fell in love nine years ago and are still in love. That has not affected my realationship with my wife or my lover's realtionship with her SO. Neither of us would consider breaking up a marriage to be with the other. My wife believes that love is not a "zero-sum game", i.e. that if you fall in love with one person that you can not be in love with another. That's a good thing.

So we are somewhere in the middle between pure sex and poly.

[Bama0468]

Can have sex without knowing a lot, but I prefer to have at least chatted a bit, to me the personality is the sexiest part of the body. Let me explain...
If you have a drop dead beautiful person and they have a lack of, or even a poor personality, to me that person is ugly, conversly you may have someone whom may not have a perfect body or face and, they may even be a lil fluffy BUT! If that person personality stands out, they are positive, upbeat and engaging, they may appear more beautiful than the other.

[romancelover]

I am in my early 60s, single and wish I could find someone who is into the lifestyle. I could handle either polyamory or more casual encounters. However, I would prefer to at least be friends, particularly if we were to get together again. My ideal would be a long term relationship with a woman who also enjoys playing with others.

[wewannabebad2]

I "wife* half have never been able to have sex with total strangers. For me sex is not only physical but mental. If my partner wants my best I gotta feel comfortable which means getting to know them, but hey everyone is different.*s*

[avid]

Well, we are poly, but we certainly don't need that to swing.

I think we run the gamut, from body parts to friendship, to another polyamorous relationship.

Whatever works at the time!

[socolais]

I guess we're all over the map. We don't need a lot of info to decide if we want to play at a party - just need to be friendly, not necessarily friends. We also have friends and enjoy playtimes with them. We're not looking for anything poly, if it happens, I guess we'll figure it out then.

I think selfconfidence is the sexiest thing a woman can wear, but she shouldn't over dress in it.

[xstarxxx1]

We are in the love sex but need to have chemistry with the people we have sex with. Its not just sex but bringing pleasure to someone you connect with for us.

[Geoduck]

Originally Posted by Bama0468

If you have a drop dead beautiful person and they have a lack of, or even a poor personality, to me that person is ugly, conversly you may have someone whom may not have a perfect body or face and, they may even be a lil fluffy BUT! If that person personality stands out, they are positive, upbeat and engaging, they may appear more beautiful than the other.

Well said, Bama!


Geo

[AdultSocials]

Interesting question. For us, we usually don't play with a couple that we've just met. We at least like to have some conversation with them prior. In one case - we had been long time friends and it took 2 years (yes you read that correctly) before we were able to get our schedules together to play.

Me - being the female half - doesn't feel comfortable having sex with a total stranger. I need to at least know that I like their personalities.

There is one couple we know where the wofe is a total sweetheart and the husband is an absolute a$$ - I can't ever imagine having sex with them because the thought of him touching me is revolting.