Are you a Swinger?

[ncmd_couple]

Lee,

We are a full swap swinging couple. I don’t really try to put labels on those that we meet in a club because people are there for a wide variety of reasons. I think that exhibitionism is a part of swinging, as the ladies get to dress sexy and the men do also to a certain extent, but not as much as the ladies. For some exhibitionism is also a part of swinging in that we also like to have sex, together or with others, in the public play rooms for others to watch and maybe join in. I think that voyeurism is also a part of swinging because we also like to watch others. Flirting is part of swinging because it is part of the mating dance. Soft swap couples are also swingers, they just have different boundaries than we do. To each their own.

There are those that come to the club exclusively for one of those aspects, but for us, it is the total package, not just one aspect. The only people that we put in a special category are headboard notchers.

S

[jandg]

Once again Lee brings up a good topic.

As for Gail and me, we go to the Vegas Red Rooster for the fun. We've met many new friends there, and enjoy the relaxed, casual atmosphere.

While we haven't had had full-swap, full-on intercourse with anyone else yet, we have had interactions with other couples, and the occasional single male. In those cases it just hasn't gone past the oral-sex stage.

I have Gail's permission to do whatever I want with another couple or female, but since she's not yet ready to have a full-on swap, I'm happy with the status quo.

The whole idea is to have fun, however it happens.

[cubnamy1995]

SWINGERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We're in it to have sex with lots of people. I agree with TNT. We are sluts. With that said, we are more "swinging hobbyists" than "lifestylers". We are full-swap (never quite got the soft-swap deal).

Swinging to us is a hobby. Nothing more. We don't consider it a lifestyle, because you would never know from our day-to-day life what we do behind closed doors. We don't feel compelled to be more than that. Swinging is what we do for fun, and it is personal to us. Nobody else needs to know.

We still consider ourselves swingers, but we wear many other hats as well.

[Chicup]

This is a minor pet-peev area of mine.

To me you are only a swinger if you are in a commited relationship and exchange/invite extra partners for sex.

I don't think intercourse is required but its gotta be more than heavy petting.

So singles are not swingers, none of the flirty couples are swingers, some guy bringing a call girl isn't a swinger, married but not to each other couples, are again, not swingers, nor do I feel open marriages make you a swinger.

Maybe my definition seems narrow but some make it so broad as to become meaningless. If you get off on your wife going to a bar alone, picking up some guy, and then telling you about it, thats fine, but its not something my wife or I could relate to nor would I call it swinging. If you are a single guy that for whatever reason persues couples looking for a MFM, thats great, but you aren't a swinger you are a single guy.

Some seem to get offended by this, and I'm not sure why. Its not saying you shouldn't do what you are doing, its just that the term 'swinger' doesn't apply.

Finally the whole 'lifestyle' thing. To me lifestyle couples would be the ones who's entire social calander seems to revolve around swinging events/parties/etc. Its hard to describe where that line is, but at one point we crossed it, decided it wasn't all that fun, and pulled back. I think most just use it as a euphamism for swinging, but I suppose I reseve it for those who are REALLY into swinging and being seen.

[SW_PA_Couple]

Originally Posted by good times

We are a full swap couple, both straight.

We would call ourselves the same. The outmoded two-word combination would also do -- wife swapping. But husband swapping, through nobody would have used it twenty years ago, would be equally correct.

It is difficult to categorize but Lee has done as good a job on it as could be done. As I read though his list, "denizens of a swinger's club" came into my mind. I have never been happy with the word hobby to say you are not engaged in it to the degree of "a lifestyle". The word "pastime" would be more accurate.

Michael

[WildMiCouple]

We're swingers too
Guess we just outed ourselves

And we refer to the flirters or wannabees at clubs as Posers
That's their walk on the wild side

Brett

[WesternSwing]

We're a full-swap, recreational sex, poly-friendly couple.

What fetishes do I see today? The one that has everyone talking locally is female squirting. I'm seeing it listed prominently in profiles: "she's a squirter" and "he can make any woman squirt." We go to the club and the conversation inevitably gets steered toward squirting by someone. It's actually getting a bit old.

[VegasLee]

Something I am noticing in the responses so far is just about everyone has posted they are a "swinger" meaning they swap.

Daily we see many people post in these forums that they go to watch or be seen but don't swapped or have not swapped yet. Kind of wondering why those people are not posting here?

I know for a fact since I see over 800 people a week at the club that MOST are not swingers. Most are either soft swinging, watching or there to be watched.

[JustAskJulie]

I would say I am a swinger - once a swinger always a swinger? Although at this time in this relationship we have not gone further than soft-swinging. We just haven't had the opportunity with the right couple yet where everything worked for more than that. So where does that leave my Pet? Is he not a swinger because he has not swapped yet?

Originally Posted by WesternSwing

What fetishes do I see today? The one that has everyone talking locally is female squirting. I'm seeing it listed prominently in profiles: "she's a squirter" and "he can make any woman squirt." We go to the club and the conversation inevitably gets steered toward squirting by someone. It's actually getting a bit old.

I've noticed this quite a bit as well, not in person (kinda glad actually) but from other forums and whatnot. It seems like it's a big thing. I used to know one couple where the woman was a big time squirter. They didn't seem to have the attitude that I hear so much lately of "how cool is that" it was more of a hassle for her because of the extra towels required.

[CB_n_Red]

Originally Posted by VegasLee

I know for a fact since I see over 800 people a week at the club that MOST are not swingers. Most are either soft swinging, watching or there to be watched.

This seems to be a developing trend in UK clubs as well, at least it is in the ones we've been to. This is the main reason why we don't go to clubs much any more. It gets a bit tedious making the effort to get talking to people only to find they have no interest in playing. We've even joked that non-swingers in clubs should wear "no entry" badges so that real swingers don't waste their time!

But it's no great problem for us as we have a small group of friends we see when the inclination grabs us

CB

[JustAskJulie]

Originally Posted by CB_n_Red

This seems to be a developing trend in UK clubs as well, at least it is in the ones we've been to. This is the main reason why we don't go to clubs much any more. It gets a bit tedious making the effort to get talking to people only to find they have no interest in playing. We've even joked that non-swingers in clubs should wear "no entry" badges so that real swingers don't waste their time!

But it's no great problem for us as we have a small group of friends we see when the inclination grabs us

CB

I was thinking while reading the original post in this thread that we need armbands at the clubs to identify each group so that we know in advance what we are dealing with and like you said, don't waste our time.

[sweet_tna]

I've said it before, and I'll say it again: We're swingers. Can't it just be that simple?

=)

[BiloxiCouple]

Originally Posted by JustAskJulie

I was thinking while reading the original post in this thread that we need armbands at the clubs to identify each group so that we know in advance what we are dealing with and like you said, don't waste our time.

I've seen that tried once. It was fun, but didn't last.

It was tried with a color code. Each color that your wore (wristband provided e.g.) indicated level of play. I think the idea is still great and would distinguish the swingers from the teasers/flirts.

[good times]

Originally Posted by JustAskJulie

We just haven't had the opportunity with the right couple yet where everything worked for more than that. So where does that leave my Pet? Is he not a swinger because he has not swapped yet?

I don't think that is necessarily so, if he is willing to swap and just hasn't connected with a suitable partner yet, I would say he is still what I would consider a swinger.

The ones I consider not swingers are the larger and larger group of people we see coming to the clubs that have no intention of ever swapping or engaging in sex with anyone other than their spouse or SO. I am starting to include those too that say they are willing, but who's fears and insecurities are at such a level as to make it almost impossible for them to find willing partners.

Heck, we don't swap every time we go to a club. In fact, with all of the "not swingers" coming to the club now days, we don't swap anywhere near as often as we would like when we go. Last night for example, we wasted pretty much the whole evening with a couple that we are now convinced will never swap with us. Turns out, they were interested in us, but when they found out we actually had some swinging experience, they decided we weren't their type. Turns out that due to concerns about their health, they will only play with long time married newbies. To them, anyone other than someone with no experience swinging yet in a long term monogamous relationship is too high a risk.

[Thrax]

No offense intended...REALLY, but you folks are weird!



Thrax (not a swinger...maybe...maybe not...depending on your definition)