cheap thrills

[socolais]

There's a little voice inside my head that says swinging is not the end of the line in search of "THE TRILL". Yeah, it's cool and all that, but so many times it seems sooooooooo shallow. When we go to a party, we know good and well that there's an outstanding probability that we'll get laid - the only question is by whom. We know we can more than likely have better sex just staying home - all our favorite toys are here, we know our way around the house with our eyes closed, we're not wondering if it's ok to use the mouthwash on the bathroom counter, it's ok to adjust the thermostat any way we want....

Now that we've proven to ourselves that we can have sex with others and not suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous sorrow - perhaps it has lost some of it's former appeal. I used to envy the Don Juan type of guy that could get just about any chick he wanted, on short notice even. I'll never be that popular, but I'm noticing that even flabby balding old men like me somehow occasionally attract some of the cutest ladies in the room. Maybe they've discovered something and have started thinking something like my thoughts - that homely looking folks are typically better lays.

Back to the point. When we first started, swinging was the ultimate thrill - wow!!! FREE SEX!!! and with anyone that was willing. But it has sort of lost some of it's attraction now that I know how easy it really is.

What's the next joy ride????????

[JustAskJulie]

Originally Posted by socolais

Back to the point. When we first started, swinging was the ultimate thrill - wow!!! FREE SEX!!! and with anyone that was willing. But it has sort of lost some of it's attraction now that I know how easy it really is.

I don't think I've ever felt like sex was the ultimate thrill of swinging. I can get that any time in a multitude of ways. And maybe part of the reason I didn't try any harder to swing when I was single was because everything that I get from swinging (when I am part of a couple) it's a lot easier to get those things when you are a single female from any number of places. I think for me it's always been more about the attention, the knowing that I'm attractive, the flirting and the ability to just be out there without anyone judging me for it. To some extent even in the singles world women are judged when they are very forward sexually (we are sluts, men are just MEN). As part of a couple it's also, to me, about being able to share that special secret between us that we are completely open with each other. No need to lie about thinking that guy or girl was hot. No need to be upset if someone else comes onto my guy.

To me I think the only real "thrill" aspect to it, is that it is a secret.

[sweet_tna]

Oooh, cheap thrills--this thread title definitely got my attention, lol!

For me, the thrill isn't so much in the sex itself. Don't get me wrong, I Looooove sex and do find it to be thrilling on occasion.

But the bigger thrill for me is how . . . ALIVE it makes me feel. The flirting, the chemistry between playmates, the attention . . . basically what Julie said. I enjoy being able to let my wilder side out and not have to feel bad/guilty for it.

=)

[Additude]

Hummmm,

Let me see now.... "he who's cup runnith over".....

Isn't it amazing the way the human mind works? I mean, seriously...isn't it?

How it adapts....how it becomes complacent with routine....and then looks for new adventure?

I say it's time to feed that head some more thought food. Time to put a new twist on an old routine. Squeeze a lime on it I say.....

[JustAskJulie]

Originally Posted by Additude

Hummmm,

Let me see now.... "he who's cup runnith over".....

Isn't it amazing the way the human mind works? I mean, seriously...isn't it?

How it adapts....how it becomes complacent with routine....and then looks for new adventure?

I say it's time to feed that head some more thought food. Time to put a new twist on an old routine. Squeeze a lime on it I say.....

Hmm... so just what are you suggesting?

[sweet_tna]

Originally Posted by Additude

Hummmm,

Let me see now.... "he who's cup runnith over".....

Isn't it amazing the way the human mind works? I mean, seriously...isn't it?

How it adapts....how it becomes complacent with routine....and then looks for new adventure?

I say it's time to feed that head some more thought food. Time to put a new twist on an old routine. Squeeze a lime on it I say.....

Tequila shots or Kamikazes . . . ?

[lustylearning]

Socolais, I hear what you're saying, and have even felt it after only a year. What keeps me (I can't speak for my husband in this) energized about the lifestyle is the continuous opportunity for making new connections - even with repeat couples, the question remaining to be explored is, "What else can we do - what new level can be reached?" I agree with a previous writer - it's not just the sex, it's the chemistry, the energy - some things you cannot duplicate with your spouse. I have learned that you can get too much of a good thing - sometimes I need to put the brakes on our social life, because it can wear me out and stand in the way of meeting higher priorities. But overall, it has enhanced our lives as a couple immensely.

Oh, and btw, Socolais, you may be flabby and balding, but your intellect is one of the sexiest on this board. I have no doubt you do attract women of all types. Here's hoping you keep finding the thrills you seek.

[socolais]

Thanks for the thoughts. I should probably clarify a few points - we are not nearly ready to retire from swinging. I've got my eye on several ladies whose pants I'd like to get into - it'll happen when the time is right and I'm certain they'll be remarkably fun. And there are many swinging options that we haven't tried yet, like threesomes and orgies....

Swinging has been good to us and good for us. We're so much closer to each other than we ever imagined was possible. We enjoy each other on a brand new level. We're both more self confident and assertive. We've discovered new techniques through playmates and share them with each other. We're both better lovers now - for each other and for friends.

By all rights, I should be downright happy - and in many ways, I am. I tell her every day how lucky I am to have her - and she knows I mean it. I think that's pretty cool for being married for thirty years.

I think Additude may be on the right track. I need a challenge, I need to feel conquest to be really happy. I need the risk of failure. We routinely see those posts from wishful beginners - "how can I convince my wife to swing", well, I've basically done that and the magnitude of the challenge fueled me toward the objective. Ironically, she's having more fun with it than I am (that's not to say that I'm crying in my beer). If I know in advance I can do something, why even bother?

I like making new friends. I like being in a house full of naked horny people. I like the smell of energetic sex oozing from the bedrooms. I like the flirt and laughter of the parties. I like exploring a woman I've never met before, enjoying her tastes and feeling pride in a job well done when her eyes roll back in her head and she starts making strange noises. I like it when her husband shakes my hand when we're leaving the party and tells me that his wife enjoyed me - yeah, I get a little thrill. But still, there's something missing and I can't quite identify it.

It's like eating Chineese food from a styrofoam tray - I can't finish it all, but in an hour or so I get an urge for some beef.

This nice spring weather has gotten me to thinking about fishing. Fishing makes me think about boats. My little fishin boat probably should have been replaced several years ago, it looks pitiful. Another coat of paint would hide most of the sins and maybe plug many of the leaks (they're not bad, just annoying). I've found some construction plans online that I like - hell, I just might build me a new boat. That sounds like a cool challenge. Hey, I think I might have a cool name for it - you've heard of the Taj Mahal right, well this would be Taj Ma Dinghy

Thanks Lusty, It's comforting to know that I'm not alone with this feeling.

[Additude]

Originally Posted by JustAskJulie

Hmm... so just what are you suggesting?

Is that an invitation?

[oncewere]

If you have lots of money money isn't all that important. Likewise with swinging sex. My ability to give a woman pleasure grew immensely when we started swinging. It's amazing how many ways there are to enjoy sex with others. I suppose we got kind of used to it but now that I'm not in a position to swing I do miss all that has been said above. Appreciate and enjoy what you have while you have it. And especially enjoy sharing with your wonderful spouse.

[theboy]

Originally Posted by sweet_tna

But the bigger thrill for me is how . . . ALIVE it makes me feel. The flirting, the chemistry between playmates, the attention . . . basically what Julie said. I enjoy being able to let my wilder side out and not have to feel bad/guilty for it.

=)

This, basically sums it up for me.

I LOVE feeling desirable, sexy, and so forth just in general. The 'chase' of new couples, new encounters, and the affirmation that yes, it's ok to behave this way in these groups is an amazing feeling.

We've only been doing the swinging thing for a half year now, but the experiences are continually changing. Each thrill seems to overlap the last one, and grow larger. I don't feel that it's cheap, but rather, affirming.

Will it meet an 'end'? I don't think so, we may take breaks occasionally but we are both very inherently sexual, and nothing will change that.

[havefuninsun]

The thrill is the chase ...

[graygo98]

Don't get me wrong, I love sex. Always have, sometimes a little too much so.

But cool as it is, sex sure isn't the ultimate thrill. My wife and I exploring new things, new people, new circumstances... that's the thrill of swinging for me.

And you know what, some things are just so intense we can share the experience a million times and its still miles ahead of life in the trenches. Pulling down your goggles at the top of a double diamond run, looking at a stretch of white water ahead of you... doesn't matter, still gets the butterflies flapping. When we do it together, its the best of the best.

Swinging involves an unlimited number of possibilities, because every person or couple is unique, and so every experience we share with others is a thrill. And, yes, I still get butterflies pulling into the parking lot at a club or meeting a couple for the first time.