why don't we have a symbol for SWINGER

[BiloxiCouple]

Originally Posted by Chris&Amelia

And even if we were... how would you handle that when you bumped into another swinger who's out and about like you? Exchange business cards and a knowing glance?

We've run into swinger friends at Wal-Mart and other places. Worked with a few. Treated them like friends or people we know well

I work in a casino and we see lots of people trying to let their down when they are away from home. I saw one guy with a Hedo shirt on and asked him about it. He acted guilty/ashamed of wearing it? I figure if you wear it then talk about it? I have worn different swinger shirts to another job before and they were indiscreet. Had my boss at the time ask about it because he figured out what it was. Within a couple of weeks they were at the local club for the first time ever in a club!!!

I guess when most people are in the vanilla world they aren't worried about swinging and probably don't want to talk about it at Wal-Mart. There is a few of us that isn't an issue with most of the time.

The MF symbols are great if you are at the club. In the real world if you wear it then it would bring up obvious questions because of the type of symbol. Are you ready for that? The NASCA symbol is also great and can be worn in the vanilla world because it is only an apple with a bite out of it. I always thought that represented the original sin in my opinion.

Maybe we could use the fig leaf? Close to the orignal sin issue? Just an idea. Or just ask NASCA if there is a possibility of using theirs somehow? No since reinventing the wheel.

[Chris&Amelia]

Maybe I should have been a little bit more clearer. I was actually talking about if we wore some sort of identifying marks that announced to those "in the know" what we were swingers, and you bumped into somebody who was in the Lifestyle that you didn't already know. How would you react with this? Would you approach and introduce yourself? Wait for them to talk to you? Exchange secret handshakes?

"Hi. I couldn't happen to notice that you and your wife have a fondness for Big Macs and Quarter Pounders. And your selection of soda was very wise."

"Huh? Whatcha talking about pal? (spies "swinger symbol") Aaaahhhh..."

"So... would you like to share our McNugget's at our place?"

[yuvaraja]

The symbol would become fashionable and lose its purpose pretty fast.

Example: Women with playboy shirts on are usually pretty prudish.

[JustAskJulie]

Originally Posted by yuvaraja

The symbol would become fashionable and lose its purpose pretty fast.

Example: Women with playboy shirts on are usually pretty prudish.

That is definately a possibility, a lot comes down to how it is made available... you can pick up a Playboy shirt at pretty much any store in the mall nowadays.

The biggest issues that I see that have probably kept any symbol from really catching on is not getting it out to people. There have been a handful of symbols that have tried to be "the" swinger symbol, but until you get the bulk of the "leaders" in the lifestyle to accept one and promote it, nothing is going to happen. From there, it's a matter of making sure that is only available through lifestyle sources. Will some non-swingers find them and think they are cool, possibly - but it's important to make it clear to the purchaser what the symbol means if they are wearing it... and again it's not something you want to make available in public (VANILLA) venues. So that leaves us back to you not only have to create a unique symbol that people will wear but you have to market it to the leaders in the lifestyle to get them to accept it and promote it to the general swinger population.

[yuvaraja]

Originally Posted by JustAskJulie

That is definately a possibility, a lot comes down to how it is made available... you can pick up a Playboy shirt at pretty much any store in the mall nowadays.

The biggest issues that I see that have probably kept any symbol from really catching on is not getting it out to people. There have been a handful of symbols that have tried to be "the" swinger symbol, but until you get the bulk of the "leaders" in the lifestyle to accept one and promote it, nothing is going to happen. From there, it's a matter of making sure that is only available through lifestyle sources. Will some non-swingers find them and think they are cool, possibly - but it's important to make it clear to the purchaser what the symbol means if they are wearing it... and again it's not something you want to make available in public (VANILLA) venues. So that leaves us back to you not only have to create a unique symbol that people will wear but you have to market it to the leaders in the lifestyle to get them to accept it and promote it to the general swinger population.

Two words: tattoos and internet

It'd become 'cool.' That said, outside of largely populated, cosmopolitan areas, it would be very useful as slang symbols get to other areas pretty late. There are still people in Middle America who have no clue what a purple triangle is.

[Chris&Amelia]

Originally Posted by JustAskJulie

There have been a handful of symbols that have tried to be "the" swinger symbol, but until you get the bulk of the "leaders" in the lifestyle to accept one and promote it, nothing is going to happen.

That, of course, begs the question who the "leaders" are. Swingers tend to be a pretty... independent lot.

Originally Posted by yuvaraja

There are still people in Middle America who have no clue what a purple triangle is.

That being said, the gay community generally is cool with being identified by straight folks as being gay. Being gay is more or less accepted, or at least tolerated, in vanilla society.

Can't say the same with us. I don't want to be identified as a swinger when I'm out and about.

[yuvaraja]

Originally Posted by Chris&Amelia

That, of course, begs the question who the "leaders" are. Swingers tend to be a pretty... independent lot.



That being said, the gay community generally is cool with being identified by straight folks as being gay. Being gay is more or less accepted, or at least tolerated, in vanilla society.

Can't say the same with us. I don't want to be identified as a swinger when I'm out and about.

A t-shirt with an "official swinger" symbol would be a hot seller, my friend.

[shymxcpl]

I vote for Swingy the swing as the new universal swingers symbol
(ref: http://www.swingersboard.com/forums/...ad.php?t=38877)

But seriously there was a very valid ponint brought out by socolais. Swinging is not yet even considered for acceptance by most people. There would first have to be universal tolerance (at least) for lifestylers to start showing their colors.

[JustAskJulie]

Originally Posted by shymxcpl

I vote for Swingy the swing as the new universal swingers symbol
(ref: http://www.swingersboard.com/forums/...ad.php?t=38877)

But seriously there was a very valid ponint brought out by socolais. Swinging is not yet even considered for acceptance by most people. There would first have to be universal tolerance (at least) for lifestylers to start showing their colors.

I think the general idea of most who want a "Symbol" is not to show their colors to the world but just to identify others who swing without it being blatent to the rest of the world.

[shymxcpl]

Thing is, we wouldnt be comfortable to have people identify us just yet (publicly at least). It's not that we feel ashamed of the way we are, but we know that most of the people around us would not understand. It's just easier to tell people what they want to hear.

We do envy some of you that are out-o-the-closet and have no problems with the people around you.

In our small minded world swinger is almost like saying child molester (I'm not making it up... it has come up).

[Hot Raleigh Cpl]

We'd love to have a symbol so we could recognize others like us. Absent one, L and I often ask each other stuff like "did you see that couple over there? do you think they...?" Naturally, without something more concrete than our curiosity, we're not about to ask them.

We agree, though. In time, "our" secret symbol would become cool ... and meaningless.

A secret handshake might be more accurate, but not very practical: who the heck shakes hands with everyone at the mall?

S and L, Hot Raleigh Cpl

[tncinmd]

Originally Posted by shymxcpl

Thing is, we wouldnt be comfortable to have people identify us just yet (publicly at least). It's not that we feel ashamed of the way we are, but we know that most of the people around us would not understand. It's just easier to tell people what they want to hear.

We do envy some of you that are out-o-the-closet and have no problems with the people around you.

In our small minded world swinger is almost like saying child molester (I'm not making it up... it has come up).

Easy pickins. First you say, "I didn't know, I just thought it looked cute". Then you hit 'em with the killer, "Just how did you know it was a symbol for swingers ?"

[CoupleBr]

Hi guys & gals,

Nice to see that others share the same wish.
We always use these two symbols to show our lifestyle. Would it be a good idea to get them in some kind of jewelry?

Kisses from The Netherlands!
Alanon & Brin
Couple Brabant

[oncewere]

Our club did have two symbols that made absolutely no sense to anyone outside. My wife and I met with several people because of the pendant (Nickle with the year of our joining. Not very expensive but effective) or car window card(easily removed). What do you do when you meet someone with the magic marker? Walk up and say Hi, what's the date on your nickle? Then you shoot the breeze about your experiences and if it seems right you make arrangements for a get-together. My visit in Big Spring Texas was a good example (in the swinger story section). Barb would choose whether to wear the pendant out or under her blouse. I usually carried it in my pocket, especially at work.
A two bit piece might have the wrong connotation, but who knows?

For a while we used a little pin on button that had the word JERKS with a diagonal line through it. That worked until vanilla people liked it and it got away from us.

It was a great way to meet like minded people. Just bite the bullet (or apple), somebody, and do it. Make it inexpensive so that if it gets away from the community, it can easily be replaced.

[WesternSwing]

Originally Posted by Chris&Amelia

That being said, the gay community generally is cool with being identified by straight folks as being gay. Being gay is more or less accepted, or at least tolerated, in vanilla society.

Funny too, because some of them can be the most judgmental about others, though they want to be openly accepted by society themselves. Case-in-point, Mrs. WS and I were at an off-premise club party one night and we were sitting on the deck overlooking the entrance to the club and parking lot. Mrs. WS pointed out a guy coming in with his friends that we knew because he worked at a store in the mall our kids frequent for the newest punk fashions, he is openly gay and Mrs. WS and him always talk when we're in there. As fast as he came in, he was leaving and as he passed the deck Mrs. WS asked him "hey so-and-so, where are you going?" He responded back "I didn't know it was swinger's night here! You guys are sick!"

So the same guy that flies a equality sticker for GBLT rights on his car was condemning us for our sexuality. Go figure. Don't know if I'd want a swinger symbol on my car for this very reason.

Originally Posted by oncewere

Barb would choose whether to wear the pendant out or under her blouse. I usually carried it in my pocket, especially at work.

The thing here is you still chose when to display it or not, which means many to whom the symbol might mean something never saw it because you only displayed it when you felt safe displaying it.

One big problem with any symbol is eventually the general vanilla public will find out what it is and some of them will ostracize you for your sexuality choice. You can only keep the symbol private amongst swingers for so long. And believe me, they are already looking for any possible symbol with which to identify and single-out swingers for public gossip and judgment. Do a Google or Yahoo! search for "swinger symbol" and you'll come-up with many hits from forums where the topic is "I think my neighbors are swingers, how can I tell?" and people chime in with everything from the kind of car they drive to the clothes they wear to their landscaping choices.

I don't think I'm ready for that kind of public scrutiny about my sex life.

On a lighter note, we've discovered that our Pagan/Wiccan Pentacle is seen by many as a "swinger/open relationship" symbol. You'd never believe the number of men that message Mrs. WS on Facebook or MySpace and hit on her because being Pagan in their minds also means we screw around with other people and they want a piece of her. They have actually said "well, I assumed you had an open marriage because you are Pagan." So to many I guess, wearing our pentacles or having the sticker on our cars instead of the ichthys fish symbol is advertising we have an open relationship. Right now that is enough advertising for us.