I'd rather masturbate than have bad swinger sex

[LikeMinds321]

I copped the title for this thread from something JandCMI said in one of his threads. He goes on to explain:

Originally Posted by JandCMI

...That said, when we hit it off "well" with someone else sexually, we want to repeat it with them because we know it was good. We do want sex, primarily, but aren't interested in just doing one-timers with different people (any more than necessary) because, well, that's just no fun to us.

His view is pretty much like mine. Maybe I just like masturbating more than most people. I know I can satisfy myself, I know what to expect, I can count on myself, I get sex when I want it, it takes no pre-planning or primping to prepare, no communication with others to get my orgasm.

Looking for a good time with others is another thing. It takes all kinds of work, yes work. I think swinging is work, and when it pays off, you feel the investment of time and energy is worth it. If, however, it ends in bad sex you could be left wishing you'd stayed home and masturbated.

MrLM and I have never had a goal of one-timer swinging. We have always gone into play hoping that we'd find ourselves wanting to do it again with that couple after the first time with them. But our experience has been that one-timers happen more often than ongoing sex with the same people. I think this is true for most swingers, for a variety of reasons.

We like the idea of sex with others, but we want it to be good, and it has been overall, maybe because we've never been eager to jump in bed with lots of people. We don't need sex with others - we have each other - so we don't push ourselves to swing. We wait until we find people that really fit what we're looking for. If our appetite for sex with others was greater, we'd probably have more notches in the bedpost and some bad experiences, thankfully we dont have any experiences we'd call bad.

I don't know what the point of this thread is. Work is slow today and I guess I'm just thinking outload.

LM

[JustAskJulie]

I'd rather masterbate than have BAD sex of any kind. Hell, sometimes I'd just rather masterbate than have sex... it's less work to get the end result!

[LikeMinds321]

Originally Posted by JustAskJulie

Hell, sometimes I'd just rather masterbate than have sex...

Hey, wait a minute! I consider masturbating sex...it's sex with myself, and I'm very happy with myself as my play partner.

LM

[JandCMI]

Originally Posted by LikeMinds321

MrLM and I have never had a goal of one-timer swinging. We have always gone into play hoping that we'd find ourselves wanting to do it again with that couple after the first time with them. But our experience has been that one-timers happen more often than ongoing sex with the same people. I think this is true for most swingers, for a variety of reasons.

Glad to see that we aren't the only ones this happens to. This is just the vindication I was hoping for from that post.

[sweet_tna]

While I don't find swinging to be work, I'd rather play with myself than have a bad time playing with others, too. As it was pointed out to me,

Lame sex is a toxic byproduct of swinging

But for now, the good times far outweigh the bad.

=)

[tribbles]

There is such a thing as "BAD" sex?

[sweet_tna]

Originally Posted by tribbles

There is such a thing as "BAD" sex?

Unfortunately, yes. Sometimes your partner just isn't getting the job done . . . either the chemistry fizzles, or Tab A and Slot B just don't align properly.

Stuff happens.

=)

[JandCMI]

Originally Posted by sweet_tna

Unfortunately, yes. Sometimes your partner just isn't getting the job done . . . either the chemistry fizzles, or Tab A and Slot B just don't align properly.

Stuff happens.

=)

[fun4Ds]

I don't know ? I've never had any bad pussy, just some better than others.

Whut It is the truth

And who ever said a bird in the hand, is worth two in the bush..

Never had no good bush.... well ...... Whut

I'm not all that into masturbation compared to sex with women. Sorry,

I'm Serious .

[fun4Ds]

Originally Posted by LikeMinds321

Hey, wait a minute! I consider masturbating sex...it's sex with myself, and I'm very happy with myself as my play partner.

LM

I don't understand maybe . I mean, when I used to masturbate in my youth I didn't fuck myself....Not even now.. Even the fantasy woman was fucking me back.. they were almost as good as Mrs.fun

The thing is I guess, I'm older now. I don't masturbate and then go looking for sex, I'm usually satisfied and wouldn't be my best. Why would I want to masturbate and take away from the thrill we go out for ? I think if I do that it would be like, Oh well what ever, I'm good.It would lessen my drive. Hell, thats like spoiling or taking away, the best I can deliver for a future playmate.

Not me, If you see me. I'm primed, I'm ready My juices are a flowing here. Just give me a signal. I wasted nothing before I got here.

Are you sure you are not taking away from your own game ? Masterbating, and thinking about someone other than future playmates. Maybe I dont get it

I say, everyone stop masturbating here for a month or two, then go to a club. Ill be waiting, and then you will know how I feel.

Its on.

[tribbles]

I say, everyone stop masturbating here for a month or two, then go to a club. Ill be waiting, and then you will know how I feel.

Its on.

[BradAndJanet]

As Woody Allen said, "It's sex with someone I love..."

-B

[socolais]

I don't understand the exclusivity, I'll have BOTH. I don't understand the "let down" from "bad swinging sex" (excluding drama and hurt feelings). Would it be fun to just hang out with naked sexy folks? So what if I don't have an orgasm with my playmate. Just like yall, I've had "bad sex" with playmates and it was still fun. It's all in the attitude and expectation.

Is the hot tub half full or half empty?????

[LikeMinds321]

Originally Posted by fun4Ds

I don't understand maybe . I mean, when I used to masturbate in my youth I didn't fuck myself....Not even now.. Even the fantasy woman was fucking me back.. they were almost as good as Mrs.fun

Your focus when masturbating is different from mine. You probably see masturbating as an activity that is a substitute for what you don't have available at the time - a woman - and it isn't the orgasm you're looking for so much as the want for the sexual experience with a woman.

Me, I masturbate purely for the physical pleasure that comes from it and the end result - the orgasms, which have always been most powerful for me when masturbating.

I rarely fantasize about someone while masturbating. I am totally into the physical sensation of doing it for pleasure and release. It's the rush I get from it that I focus on, the build up and explosion. I'm in touch with my body and love the feeling of working myself up to the Big O.

The thing is I guess, I'm older now. I don't masturbate and then go looking for sex, I'm usually satisfied and wouldn't be my best. Why would I want to masturbate and take away from the thrill we go out for ? I think if I do that it would be like, Oh well what ever, I'm good. It would lessen my drive. Hell, thats like spoiling or taking away, the best I can deliver for a future playmate.

Not me, If you see me. I'm primed, I'm ready My juices are a flowing here. Just give me a signal. I wasted nothing before I got here.

I think men and women are different, in that many men feel they have to store up and save themselves if they want to perform at their best. Or, another theory here, is that the longer they hold it in, the stronger their desire becomes, so postponing sex (or refraining from masturbating) is a common practice.

I don't know how other women feel about this, but for me, masturbating keeps me more up for sex, and I've mentioned before on this Board that masturbating right before having sex with a man is something I've discovered heightens my sex with him.

Are you sure you are not taking away from your own game ? Masterbating, and thinking about someone other than future playmates. Maybe I dont get it

I'm sure. And I hope my explanation above provided the gist of why I feel this way about masturbating.

I say, everyone stop masturbating here for a month or two, then go to a club. Ill be waiting, and then you will know how I feel.

Its on.

I think that could result in some overly aggressive males drooling on their shirts as they chased women around the room with a wide-eyed crazy look on their faces.

LM

[ALilOEverything]

At first I thought I would rather have bad sex than masturbate because I get nothing out of masturbation but then I realized this is not true. At least with bad and disappointing masturbation I only have myself to blame (which is always) and I don't have to walk away trying to analyze what's on the other(s) person's mind and what went wrong.