"My spouse couldn't make it..."

**LikeMinds321** · 03-19-2008, 05:58 PM

How many of you have arranged a private first meet with a couple you met through an ad site, and once at the meeting place the "couple" doesn't arrive, instead, only one of them shows?

The person may have given you a reason like, "my spouse was called into work at the last minute" or some such thing.

How did you handle the surprise of seeing only one of them show? Did you believe the person's reason? Did you later meet both of them at another time?

We haven't had this happen, but if we did, we'd be stunned, suspicious, and would proceed cautiously. Depending on what the person continued to say and how they acted, we might be out of there in 5 minutes, never wanting anything to do with the "couple" again. But then...maybe things can go well in these cases?

We always exchange cell phone numbers before a private meet, so in a situation like this we'd expect a call as soon as their plans changed, this way we would be given the courtesy to know what's up ahead of time and set a new meet date if we preferred.

LM

iapr · 03-19-2008, 07:39 PM

We almost always give our cell # and say to give us a call if anything comes up before we meet. If we were to receive a call before the date saying that something came up and only one could attend we accept that without any problems and make arraingements for another date at a later time and there would be no prejudice.

If we were to show up and only one was sitting there (I think we can all assume it would be the guy) and we had not received any kind of notice we would say that we were sorry they weren't able to get together at this time and we would politely excuse ourselves and leave. That couple(individual) would most likely not get a second chance unless there was some kind of extrordinary explaination that we received directly from the female half.

knb2004 · 03-19-2008, 10:04 PM

It's never happened to us, but if it did.... Well, assuming a FIRST meet, unless we had engaged in such extensive prior communications that we believe them 100% we'd probably assume that there is no "them" and it's a posing single. Course we may be overly cynical.

Mr knb

**good times** · 03-19-2008, 10:13 PM

We had this happen once, but he explained that she had been out of town and her plane was late. Sure enough, she showed up about a half hour later.

We tend to take people at their word, and nothing is going to happen sexually unless the other partner shows up anyway.

**LFM2** · 03-19-2008, 10:37 PM

I'm a little more suspicious than GT.

We did have the male of the couple tell us that he meets couples alone first before he lets his wife meet them. I can't remember exactly what we said, but I think it was a, "Thanks, but no thanks" thing.

**two4youinswva** · 03-19-2008, 11:39 PM

If only one of them showed, we'd politely leave.

Here's the reason: If the shoe were on the other foot, and one of us couldn't make it, then the other wouldn't go either. We would call and cancel, then hopefully be able to make another date in the future.

Of course if it was the female half of the couple that showed up, we'd go ahead and do her!
(I kid. I kid)

sweet_tna · 03-20-2008, 12:26 AM

I'm with you on this one, LM. We haven't had that happen. But IF it did, we'd be out of there but quick, since there'd be no excuse for that half of the "couple" not to call.

Even if it was a genuine situation, I'd NEVER show up to a date without Mr. Sweet.

=)

**LikeMinds321** · 03-20-2008, 09:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by two4youinswva

Of course if it was the female half of the couple that showed up, we'd go ahead and do her!
(I kid. I kid)

You are so bad!

If the husband showed up alone and he was a HUNKABURNIN'BOD, I'd insist we keep him around to buy us drinks while I drooled over him...

then we'd dump him.

LM

des1re06 · 03-20-2008, 09:40 AM

Mrs. D

WesternSwing · 03-20-2008, 11:56 AM

If there was chemistry we'd probably say something like "Oh, that sucks. Can we call him/her and get their expressed permission for you to be here solo?" Then we'd see what their reaction is.

We had a strange one recently. A single guy suggested we meet during the day in a "public place like the park". Ummm... No. This screamed "MARRIED AND CHEATING."

**LikeMinds321** · 03-20-2008, 12:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WesternSwing

We had a strange one recently. A single guy suggested we meet during the day in a "public place like the park"...

"behind the bushes"

LM

VegasLee · 03-20-2008, 12:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WesternSwing

A single guy suggested we meet during the day in a "public place like the park". Ummm... No. This screamed "MARRIED AND CHEATING."

In the town we live in we hear this at times but we ask a few more questions since it could be legit. Many people here because of the clubs and casinos work evening or night shifts. Just asking what shift they work gives us a lot more information. Then again, they could be a cheating husband.

Down the road with them if that is the case.

MrsVan · 03-20-2008, 07:52 PM

We actually had something similar to like this happen to us. We met this couple on a site and had exchanged emails back and forth. MrVan gave his cellphone number so we could arrange to get together for dinner and drinks. Well, the night we were suppose to meet the husband sent MrVan a text and said his wife was not going to be getting out of work till late but would not meeting us for drinks himself. Ummm, no thanks..

It would be different if we already met the couple but we were not wanting to meet one without the other. We want to make sure it is a real couple.

So then we found out that the same couple was to be at a local party that we were going to be at. The couple said they would be there but then we get there and they did not show up. So to me it makes us wonder if this is a single, posing as a couple but knows that we will not meet with the other half not there..

We have still yet to figure out if this is a couple or a single.

MrsVan

**SW_PA_Couple** · 03-20-2008, 07:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LikeMinds321

How many of you have arranged a private first meet with a couple you met through an ad site, and once at the meeting place the "couple" doesn't arrive, instead, only one of them shows?

Has not happened like this but more than once we have received the question, either by e-mail or telephone, "Would it be OK if I met you. Jane won't be able to make it this time but . . ." That offer has always been declined and has always killed the message exchange.

Michael

safireblues · 05-10-2008, 02:41 PM

This happened to us. I was tricked, thought I was talking to a female, she was too good to be true, impulsively asked if we all wanted to meet for drinks. It was a few days after the Christmas holiday so I was feeling particularly goofy and said "sure, we'll meet you."

Then just the guy shows up, the "girl" is stuck at work. He was nice looking, but pushy and of course, I wasn't able to overcome the whole "is he lying?" thing. My husband and I don't have an issue with single guys, and part of it was that the guy was supposedly "bi-curious", and my husband is bi. We couldn't get past the feeling we'd been had and we told him no thank you. He acted really offended. It was definitely our creepiest experience to date and we're much more cautious now.

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03-19-2008, 05:58 PM	#1 (permalink)
LikeMinds321 Let's get comfortable... Join Date: Jan 2004 Posts: 8,547 Location: On the couch Status: Married to Mr LM	"My spouse couldn't make it..." How many of you have arranged a private first meet with a couple you met through an ad site, and once at the meeting place the "couple" doesn't arrive, instead, only one of them shows? The person may have given you a reason like, "my spouse was called into work at the last minute" or some such thing. How did you handle the surprise of seeing only one of them show? Did you believe the person's reason? Did you later meet both of them at another time? We haven't had this happen, but if we did, we'd be stunned, suspicious, and would proceed cautiously. Depending on what the person continued to say and how they acted, we might be out of there in 5 minutes, never wanting anything to do with the "couple" again. But then...maybe things can go well in these cases? We always exchange cell phone numbers before a private meet, so in a situation like this we'd expect a call as soon as their plans changed, this way we would be given the courtesy to know what's up ahead of time and set a new meet date if we preferred. LM

03-19-2008, 07:39 PM	#2 (permalink)
iapr Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Nov 2006 Posts: 641 Location: State of bliss Status: couple	Re: "My spouse couldn't make it..." We almost always give our cell # and say to give us a call if anything comes up before we meet. If we were to receive a call before the date saying that something came up and only one could attend we accept that without any problems and make arraingements for another date at a later time and there would be no prejudice. If we were to show up and only one was sitting there (I think we can all assume it would be the guy) and we had not received any kind of notice we would say that we were sorry they weren't able to get together at this time and we would politely excuse ourselves and leave. That couple(individual) would most likely not get a second chance unless there was some kind of extrordinary explaination that we received directly from the female half.

03-19-2008, 10:04 PM	#3 (permalink)
knb2004 Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Mar 2008 Posts: 177 Location: NYC Status: M. Couple SLS Name:knb2004	Re: "My spouse couldn't make it..." It's never happened to us, but if it did.... Well, assuming a FIRST meet, unless we had engaged in such extensive prior communications that we believe them 100% we'd probably assume that there is no "them" and it's a posing single. Course we may be overly cynical. Mr knb

03-19-2008, 10:13 PM	#4 (permalink)
good times Mod Squad Member Join Date: Jul 2002 Posts: 6,420 Location: Reno, Nevada Status: Married to Mrs Good Times SLS Name:randp	Re: "My spouse couldn't make it..." We had this happen once, but he explained that she had been out of town and her plane was late. Sure enough, she showed up about a half hour later. We tend to take people at their word, and nothing is going to happen sexually unless the other partner shows up anyway. __________________ R (He is R, she is P)

03-19-2008, 10:37 PM	#5 (permalink)
LFM2 Happy Fall, Y'all!! Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 1,850 Location: State of Confusion Status: Couple SLS Name:LFM2 Blog Entries: 4	Re: "My spouse couldn't make it..." I'm a little more suspicious than GT. We did have the male of the couple tell us that he meets couples alone first before he lets his wife meet them. I can't remember exactly what we said, but I think it was a, "Thanks, but no thanks" thing. __________________ "One half of the world cannot understand the pleasures of the other." Jane Austen

03-19-2008, 11:39 PM	#6 (permalink)
two4youinswva Better than Ice Cream Join Date: Oct 2004 Posts: 2,276 Location: va Status: Couple. He posts, She reads Blog Entries: 1	Re: "My spouse couldn't make it..." If only one of them showed, we'd politely leave. Here's the reason: If the shoe were on the other foot, and one of us couldn't make it, then the other wouldn't go either. We would call and cancel, then hopefully be able to make another date in the future. Of course if it was the female half of the couple that showed up, we'd go ahead and do her! (I kid. I kid) __________________ The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do. -Walter Bagehot

03-20-2008, 12:26 AM	#7 (permalink)
sweet_tna Being good is overrated Join Date: Sep 2007 Posts: 2,934 Location: Poconos, PA Status: The boss of Mr. Sweet SLS Name:Sweet_tna	Re: "My spouse couldn't make it..." I'm with you on this one, LM. We haven't had that happen. But IF it did, we'd be out of there but quick, since there'd be no excuse for that half of the "couple" not to call. Even if it was a genuine situation, I'd NEVER show up to a date without Mr. Sweet. =) __________________ I'd rather go to hell for doing something I enjoyed than die wondering what it's like.

03-20-2008, 09:40 AM	#9 (permalink)
des1re06 Great Times 1 Year Exp. Join Date: Feb 2007 Posts: 1,080 Location: East TN Status: Couple SLS Name:Des1re06	Re: "My spouse couldn't make it..." Mrs. D

03-20-2008, 11:56 AM	#10 (permalink)
WesternSwing South of disorder Join Date: Mar 2004 Posts: 2,824 Location: Utah Status: Male half of married couple	Re: "My spouse couldn't make it..." If there was chemistry we'd probably say something like "Oh, that sucks. Can we call him/her and get their expressed permission for you to be here solo?" Then we'd see what their reaction is. We had a strange one recently. A single guy suggested we meet during the day in a "public place like the park". Ummm... No. This screamed "MARRIED AND CHEATING." __________________ "God created sex. Priests created marriage." ~ Voltaire

03-20-2008, 07:52 PM	#13 (permalink)
MrsVan Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Jan 2006 Posts: 667 Location: Ohio Status: M.Female SLS Name:MrMrsVanHlebar	Re: "My spouse couldn't make it..." We actually had something similar to like this happen to us. We met this couple on a site and had exchanged emails back and forth. MrVan gave his cellphone number so we could arrange to get together for dinner and drinks. Well, the night we were suppose to meet the husband sent MrVan a text and said his wife was not going to be getting out of work till late but would not meeting us for drinks himself. Ummm, no thanks.. It would be different if we already met the couple but we were not wanting to meet one without the other. We want to make sure it is a real couple. So then we found out that the same couple was to be at a local party that we were going to be at. The couple said they would be there but then we get there and they did not show up. So to me it makes us wonder if this is a single, posing as a couple but knows that we will not meet with the other half not there.. We have still yet to figure out if this is a couple or a single. MrsVan

05-10-2008, 02:41 PM	#15 (permalink)
safireblues Here to Stay Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 90 Location: Philadelphia Status: Married Female	Re: "My spouse couldn't make it..." This happened to us. I was tricked, thought I was talking to a female, she was too good to be true, impulsively asked if we all wanted to meet for drinks. It was a few days after the Christmas holiday so I was feeling particularly goofy and said "sure, we'll meet you." Then just the guy shows up, the "girl" is stuck at work. He was nice looking, but pushy and of course, I wasn't able to overcome the whole "is he lying?" thing. My husband and I don't have an issue with single guys, and part of it was that the guy was supposedly "bi-curious", and my husband is bi. We couldn't get past the feeling we'd been had and we told him no thank you. He acted really offended. It was definitely our creepiest experience to date and we're much more cautious now.

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