What does it take to get you in bed?

[JustAskJulie]

Another spin-off from the "Bed Post Notchers" thread.... and others, just something I've wondered about lately.

What does it take to get you to play? I've seen a couple of people post that basically "if they want to have sex with us, we'll have sex with them....". That really makes me wonder, would you really? Are you that open to having sex with ANYONE who is open to having sex with you? Or do you need a little something more to be into them? Do you need to feel a "connection"? and if so, what kind of connection? Or do you just need to be attracted (physically) - basically if they are hot from across the room you'll do them?


For me, I'll say that they at least need to be attractive from across the room... and if they don't open their mouth and kill that attraction, all is good. That does take a bit, as I am pretty picky on what I find attractive. Often there are people who open their mouth and kill the attraction but there are also situations where I may not have found someone attractive instantly but after talking to them for a short bit I did find them attractive.

[iapr]

Mrs iapr and I were having a discussion on this very topic earlier this evening. For me physically as long as someone is of a somewhat reasonable HWP (and by that I mean not medically obese or dying of anorexia. Love handles and a little junk in the trunk are fine) clean and well groomed, a healthy set of teeth. From there it is just a matter of chemistry. Some times it is there, sometimes it isn't. sometimes it is not there at first but over time it develops and as JustaskJulie sometimes the physical attraction is there but once the mouth opens up and the flying monkeys fly out it is all over.

Now for mrs iapr it gets way more dicey. She has a list of 10,000 requirements and if one of them is not in order it ain't hapnin. I will say though that for the most part she is pretty adaptable and when the chemistry is there she will go with the flow. We have run into so many people that really need the whole ongoing friendship and family outings together thing that we are just unable if not downright unwilling to do. For the people that insist on genuine friendships and long term relationships between couples I don't know how they ever do it but they do.

[socolais]

I voted, if they want to play.... But a statement that simple can never be the complete answer. My wife and I separatly declined to play with a couple at the last party because they came across as just a little bit too desperate. They looked cute, were wanting to play and communicated well enough that usable feedback during play could be expected, they were pretty close to normal - that's just about all the criteria. But "something" just wasn't quite right.

Because we didn't play with them, we can't say for sure if we passed on a good deal or not. Perhaps we misidentified their nervousness as despiration and things could have settled down to a real nice time.

"Gut feeling" retains the right to line item veto in the playmate selection process

[sweet_tna]

For us, it's all about the chemistry. If it's there, we're good to go. If not . . . well, this is what happens.

=)

[good times]

We are like you Julie, if we are physically attracted, and they don't open their mouth and turn us off, we will probably play. I don't think I have ever had someone that I didn't initially find attractive, that later after talking to them I changed my mind, but that has happened with Mrs. GT several times.

[lustylearning]

I love this question. For me it doesn't take much, but it does take something. I don't need a strong "connection," but I need to hear some kind of words uttered - something witty and/or sincere and/or intelligent and/or meaningful - some kind of minimal mental hook. It's tough for me to want to please someone if I don't, at least superficially, like them.

[LFM2]

Originally Posted by lustylearning

I love this question. For me it doesn't take much, but it does take something. I don't need a strong "connection," but I need to hear some kind of words uttered - something witty and/or sincere and/or intelligent and/or meaningful - some kind of minimal mental hook. It's tough for me to want to please someone if I don't, at least superficially, like them.

You said exactly what I was thinking. I also don't need that strong connection, but I do like a great sense of humor and intelligence. I like a full set of teeth and a great smile.

[Mr. Sweet]

Originally Posted by lustylearning

I love this question. For me it doesn't take much, but it does take something. I don't need a strong "connection," but I need to hear some kind of words uttered - something witty and/or sincere and/or intelligent and/or meaningful - some kind of minimal mental hook. It's tough for me to want to please someone if I don't, at least superficially, like them.

I'll ditto this as well and expand upon Mrs. Sweet....I've been attracted to a wide variety of ladies/girls and it's that one thing that hooks me. It could be just looks and hot body or it may be there personality, and then again it might just be the attitude they bring to a room (and if you know one of these people you know what I mean) where they end up being the only thing on your mind whether you intend it or not.

Then again, I'm surprised Mrs. Sweet didn't say I was cheap and easy...

[Tia Vampire]

with last 3 post. They describe the way we feel all the way around.

[sweet_tna]

Originally Posted by Mr. Sweet

I'll ditto this as well and expand upon Mrs. Sweet....I've been attracted to a wide variety of ladies/girls and it's that one thing that hooks me. It could be just looks and hot body or it may be there personality, and then again it might just be the attitude they bring to a room (and if you know one of these people you know what I mean) where they end up being the only thing on your mind whether you intend it or not.

Then again, I'm surprised Mrs. Sweet didn't say I was cheap and easy...

You are, Honey, but I love you anyway.

=)

[Chris&Amelia]

I sat here trying to think how I want to answer that question, and my head damn near exploded.

There are so many variables to consider, and they can change on a day-by-day (or, heck, a minute-by-minute) basis.

But in my mind, there's two separate categories: Those couples you want to actually cultivate friendships with, and those couples where, it's the end of the night and your hormones are raging... they'll do.

For the first catagory, obviously we have to be physically attracted to them. If they don't get our motor running, then it's kind of a moot point. But we would also like to be able to talk to them as equals. I'm certainly not the brightest bulb in the chandelier, nor am I the wittiest guy in town. But we would like to hang out with people who are just enjoyable to be around, who share the same (twisted) tastes as us, and who we can tell bad jokes to, and they not only laugh, they have their own bad jokes to tell us back!

Essentialy, we're looking for peers.

As for the second catagory... it matters how wound up we are and how much we've had to drink that night.

[des1re06]

Attraction - plain and simple. I can't have sex with someone I don't feel attracted to

First name (not that I'll remember it 20 minutes later)

Respectful behavior

Not drunk (tipsy is fine, but not falling down)

Mr. D's requirements are longer than mine. He's the picky one.

Mrs. D

[realcplub2]

For Us, it boils down to... Whats up stairs rather than the showroom floor.

A great personality can go a long way.. its sort of like this, when we head out for a evening of fun, its a all night affair.

If you spend half the night naked, engaged in fun, there is the other half of the night, where, talking joking around.. we need to have at least a few things in common other than the body parts all fitting together in intresting ways..

[Malachista]

I'm the odd cookie in the jar.
I decide by the first touch. (on arms and legs not people who grope tits and between my legs)
I really have problems with people who I talk first to for 30 minutes, and then just ask to play, without ever having touched me - I rather have someone come up behind me and stroke my back first... if that feels fine, we can talk or play without a problem for me

[LikeMinds321]

Environment

Looking at our 4 years in this so far, it seems to be environment. We have always found the fastest route to the bedroom was when meeting a couple privately, in a vanilla bar. Swinger clubs are too distracting for us.

To get us to bed after a first meet at a vanilla bar usually takes 2 hours max when we all click. Clicking happens because we enjoy the conversation, everybody flirts, and we all touch each other in ways that aren't conspicuous to those around us but get us turned on and ready to go forth and fornicate. We have to find them attractive, but don't we all?

It takes a little time online with a couple e-mail exchanges through the ad site. We insist they fill out our 100-point questionare. Okay, I'm only kidding, but we are selective and therefore don't even meet people unless we know chances are high of hooking up. The only exceptions are when we have met people just for the experience of meeting them socially, or because - in one case - the couple was traveling through town, e-mailed us the day before and we decided to have lunch with them rather than mow the lawn.

LM