Wife and I parting ways, do we swing?

semntj · 03-16-2008, 06:45 PM

My wife and I have decided to go out seperate ways after 15 years of marriage. This has nothing to do with swinging, which we have done a few times in the past. The short story is, we were pretty young when we married and it's just been a struggle over the years. We are on friendly terms, and decided to stay together for a couple years longer to pay off some of our bills and such before we part. We have taken off our rings and given each other "permission" to go out with others, but neither one of us has done that yet. We still have fun sex with each other and spend a lot of time together, I don't think either one of us wants to be the first one to do something with sombody else. I will probably wait on that until we are officially divorced and living in seperate places, I can't speak for her.

I just wanted to give our situation, what this post is really about is, do we swing? We have done some threesomes with guys and gals in the past and I would like to approach my wife and see if she is would like to get back into it again. I especially enjoyed the MFMs, as it is so hot seeing her so excited. I would love to do that with her again. I actually like watching almost as much as participating! Are we too "screwed up" to swing now? What do you think? Any opinions welcome, good or bad.
Thanks..

Edison Carter · 03-16-2008, 07:52 PM

Let me get this straight: you have great sex, enjoy spending time together, got your money concerns straightened out and now you want a divorce. Unless there is something you are not telling us, you should try some counseling and see if the remaining problems can be reconciled. -- Susan

***JustAskJulie*** · 03-16-2008, 08:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Edison Carter

Let me get this straight: you have great sex, enjoy spending time together, got your money concerns straightened out and now you want a divorce. Unless there is something you are not telling us, you should try some counseling and see if the remaining problems can be reconciled. -- Susan

I was wondering the same things....

Why are you getting a divorce?

sweet_tna · 03-16-2008, 09:06 PM

Add me to the list of confused comrades . . .?

=)

newblueyedcpl4u · 03-16-2008, 10:42 PM

Just a thought but you need to work out your personal problems first. I think ending a fifteen year marriage is a travisty. There must have been some love there for you to last that long. I was married for 24 years and got into a situation where a lot of money was put on credit cards and there was little interest in each other. We divorced but I still look back from time to time and wonder if I made the right decision. We had children almost teens by then and I figured they would be old enought to understand. The truth was that it was in the teen years when they needed a solid family foundation the most. So try counseling and think back to what it was that brought the two of you together. See your pastor and let him put some insight into the marriage. Swinging is something that requires trust and obviously there is none at this point. I think to stick a sword in a dying man would be the wrong thing to do and to me that is what you will do to your marriage if you try swiinging at this point. There is child support, very expensive, and alimony, again expensive, and if you have children then it is really tough, because they will always side with mom, and you will always be the one that left. I speak from personal experience. Do yourself a favor and try to work it all out. There are some good people out there with a lot of experience and believe me no problem is too big to be worked out. Good luck! We wish you both the best. J and R

semntj · 03-17-2008, 12:16 AM

I have tried everything in my power to save this marriage. She is the one who wants the divorce. I don't blame her, I had a bad go with a business and almost put us into bankruptsy. We are on the right track financially now but we went through 4 years of financial HELL. It's taxing on a person and a marriage, and I guess it was enough to put her over the edge. That's not the only thing though, it just hasn't been there for us for a long time. I think sex has been the glue that held this thing together so long.

sweet_tna · 03-17-2008, 12:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by semntj

I have tried everything in my power to save this marriage. She is the one who wants the divorce. I don't blame her, I had a bad go with a business and almost put us into bankruptsy. We are on the right track financially now but we went through 4 years of financial HELL. It's taxing on a person and a marriage, and I guess it was enough to put her over the edge. That's not the only thing though, it just hasn't been there for us for a long time. I think sex has been the glue that held this thing together so long.

In that case, it's time to let go and move on. Best of luck to ya'll . . .

=)

Additude · 03-17-2008, 05:20 AM

Well, if it's over, it's over....

Why would you ask anyone's opinion if you should swing or not?

We usually ask those kinds of questions because we consider something bad may come of our actions and apparently a very bad thing like getting a divorice from doing it is not part of the consideration.

Do it if you want to, what do you have to loose?

Enjoy.

sc4play · 03-17-2008, 05:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sweet_tna

In that case, it's time to let go and move on. Best of luck to ya'll . . .

=)

We second that time to move on...best of luck

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03-16-2008, 06:45 PM	#1 (permalink)
semntj Here to Stay Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 17 Location: mn	Wife and I parting ways, do we swing? My wife and I have decided to go out seperate ways after 15 years of marriage. This has nothing to do with swinging, which we have done a few times in the past. The short story is, we were pretty young when we married and it's just been a struggle over the years. We are on friendly terms, and decided to stay together for a couple years longer to pay off some of our bills and such before we part. We have taken off our rings and given each other "permission" to go out with others, but neither one of us has done that yet. We still have fun sex with each other and spend a lot of time together, I don't think either one of us wants to be the first one to do something with sombody else. I will probably wait on that until we are officially divorced and living in seperate places, I can't speak for her. I just wanted to give our situation, what this post is really about is, do we swing? We have done some threesomes with guys and gals in the past and I would like to approach my wife and see if she is would like to get back into it again. I especially enjoyed the MFMs, as it is so hot seeing her so excited. I would love to do that with her again. I actually like watching almost as much as participating! Are we too "screwed up" to swing now? What do you think? Any opinions welcome, good or bad. Thanks..

03-16-2008, 07:52 PM	#2 (permalink)
Edison Carter Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Oct 2005 Posts: 412 Location: Bloomington, Il Status: Couple SLS Name:EdisonCarter Blog Entries: 1	Re: Wife and I parting ways, do we swing? Let me get this straight: you have great sex, enjoy spending time together, got your money concerns straightened out and now you want a divorce. Unless there is something you are not telling us, you should try some counseling and see if the remaining problems can be reconciled. -- Susan

03-16-2008, 09:06 PM	#4 (permalink)
sweet_tna Being good is overrated Join Date: Sep 2007 Posts: 2,934 Location: Poconos, PA Status: The boss of Mr. Sweet SLS Name:Sweet_tna	Re: Wife and I parting ways, do we swing? Add me to the list of confused comrades . . .? =) __________________ I'd rather go to hell for doing something I enjoyed than die wondering what it's like.

03-16-2008, 10:42 PM	#5 (permalink)
newblueyedcpl4u Active Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Posts: 10 Location: myrtle beach, south carolina Status: couple SLS Name:newblueyedcpl4u	Re: Wife and I parting ways, do we swing? Just a thought but you need to work out your personal problems first. I think ending a fifteen year marriage is a travisty. There must have been some love there for you to last that long. I was married for 24 years and got into a situation where a lot of money was put on credit cards and there was little interest in each other. We divorced but I still look back from time to time and wonder if I made the right decision. We had children almost teens by then and I figured they would be old enought to understand. The truth was that it was in the teen years when they needed a solid family foundation the most. So try counseling and think back to what it was that brought the two of you together. See your pastor and let him put some insight into the marriage. Swinging is something that requires trust and obviously there is none at this point. I think to stick a sword in a dying man would be the wrong thing to do and to me that is what you will do to your marriage if you try swiinging at this point. There is child support, very expensive, and alimony, again expensive, and if you have children then it is really tough, because they will always side with mom, and you will always be the one that left. I speak from personal experience. Do yourself a favor and try to work it all out. There are some good people out there with a lot of experience and believe me no problem is too big to be worked out. Good luck! We wish you both the best. J and R

03-17-2008, 12:16 AM	#6 (permalink)
semntj Here to Stay Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 17 Location: mn	Re: Wife and I parting ways, do we swing? I have tried everything in my power to save this marriage. She is the one who wants the divorce. I don't blame her, I had a bad go with a business and almost put us into bankruptsy. We are on the right track financially now but we went through 4 years of financial HELL. It's taxing on a person and a marriage, and I guess it was enough to put her over the edge. That's not the only thing though, it just hasn't been there for us for a long time. I think sex has been the glue that held this thing together so long.

03-17-2008, 05:20 AM	#8 (permalink)
Additude Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Apr 2002 Posts: 310 Location: OBX-NC	Re: Wife and I parting ways, do we swing? Well, if it's over, it's over.... Why would you ask anyone's opinion if you should swing or not? We usually ask those kinds of questions because we consider something bad may come of our actions and apparently a very bad thing like getting a divorice from doing it is not part of the consideration. Do it if you want to, what do you have to loose? Enjoy. __________________ If you want something you have never had before, you must do something you have never done before.

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