Generational differences in swinging

[VegasLee]

To keep this short I pretty much agree with Greg & Sheryl and Ipar on this one.

You have many more voyeurs and exhibitionists today then there used to be.

What Creg calls Show Ponies we nicked named the S & M Crowd. Stand and Model.

If it works for you, got for it.

[JustAskJulie]

Originally Posted by VegasLee

To keep this short I pretty much agree with Greg & Sheryl and Ipar on this one.

You have many more voyeurs and exhibitionists today then there used to be.

What Creg calls Show Ponies we nicked named the S & M Crowd. Stand and Model.

If it works for you, got for it.

I blame it on the internet. The thing that made swinging easier... has made it well... easier to find. So instead of having to work for it, meaning that those who actually took the time and the effort to meet others were most likely really serious about getting down to business. You had to pretty much know someone to get into a club (which meant that they knew you were serious and ready). It's so different now where all the info is out there for everyone, and all you have to do at most clubs is show up, sign the waiver and pay the door fee. So anyone can get in and many of those who do get in really aren't serious. This reminds me of a recent blog from (I think) EllyAnne where she talked about finding out that her VANILLA sister has discovered her favorite swinger club and thinks it's cool to go there and dance and watch all the crazy swinger people.

[Pepper & Drew]

Originally Posted by des1re06

We see a difference in how the younger set party. Some couples tend to drink too much and then aren't ready to have sex until the early morning hours. That's just not our style. This is not always the case, but enough that it makes us watch closely how much they're drinking.
Mrs. D

Just this weekend, I made some friends of ours spit-shake and pinky swear that we weren't going to hang at the club until the wee hours of the morning and that we were actually going to play before midnight. I'm 31, but I'm an old lady at heart. Hell, a perfect day for me is to start a pool party at 12 or 1, go home at 9 or 10 and be in bed before SNL comes on.

Originally Posted by iapr

If I hear the more experienced swingers complaining today it is often about how the "new lifestylers" today are actually more timid about sex than their predacessors and how today there are more people that just want to dress up slutty and dirty dance and for the chicks to nipple-lick on each other and then call it good and go home.

If I hear old time "wife swappers" complain it is that people are more into the friendship thing and the flirting and teasing rather than getting naked and having a sexual experience.

We used to hear couples say that about us. What they didn't know was that we're not at all timid about sex, it just happened that we didn't always announce who we were leaving with or what we're doing. All they knew is that we weren't playing with them, and assumed we weren't playing with anyone. Pretty presumptive, I'd say....

Pepper

[lustylearning]

Originally Posted by Pepper & Drew

What they didn't know was that we're not at all timid about sex, it just happened that we didn't always announce who we were leaving with or what we're doing. All they knew is that we weren't playing with them, and assumed we weren't playing with anyone. Pretty presumptive, I'd say....

Pepper

I heard that

But then again, if they figure out you are playing, they may perceive you as being too busy. It may just be sexual frustration talking, but with some folks it seems you can't win for losing...

[prettylady]

I am still fairly new so it seems a bit cheeky for me to say this. But it is what I have seen.
I have been to a few clubs and the thing that stands out with me is newbies are like 19 year olds at the bar. (21 in your case). The people who have been bar goes for a few years sit back, relax, and enjoy the company and music. The 19+ Get fall down drunk and make asses of themselves. They haven't figured it out yet.
I have seen the same in swing clubs. The experienced group are having fun dancing, playing pool, flirting, and basically having a good time with out making an ass of themselves. The newer ones, are loud, in your face, suggestive and flirty, then.....nope it is time to go home.
They want to be seen as a swinger but just arn't ready to be swingers. S & M like Lee said. Look but don't touch.
I like to have fun earlier on in the night, that way I can just dance and relax the rest of the night. Or who knows maybe play again later.
Your friend,
Prettylady

[BiloxiCouple]

Generational differences in swinging have been going on for generations.

[screaminggood]

I coined the phrase "nipple lickers" for those women who come on really strong, dance and lick nipples on the dance floor but then leave after they have their boyfriends/husbands all excited.

I understand their rights, and that it's fun for them to do, but it wastes the time of those of us who are seriously bi or serious about any playtime situations. We're starting to be able to pick them out of the crowd though...and we avoid them.

[Tia Vampire]

For us, it is a little different. Him 32 and shy. Myself 38 and outgoing. I've read here, move as slowly as the slower person, which was him. So I let him make all of the dissisions. It got us no where fast.

So I agree that it is more of an experience thing as Julie said. He came from the counry and his family was his biggest concern. They had their own fern business, So it was go to school, come home and do homework, then come out to help in the fields and then take the fern to the shipping warehouse. He had only two friends that he was allowed to play and stay with on the weekends. The family business has always came first.

I'm from New York and I have always been surrounded by family and friends. Always doing something and having fun doing it. So i'm not a bit shy. I'm easy to get along with and enjoy socializing with others. I do get a little uneasy in new situations and need a drink to calm my nerves, but not so much that I make an ass of myself.

When we do go out, we prefer to drink a little, flirt, talk with others, and I love to dance. He does not like to dance. That way I have a chance to get to know a little about a potential playmate. Find out what they are into and if they are compatable. For us it is really a mini screen search. Not just look at someone and say that they are attractive, let stalk them We are into the 20's to 50's crowd. I'll go off with an older gentleman as long as he is atractive. For me that is where attraction is important. Not saying that all young people are attractive, but for me there is something about an older and attractive man. Example: Sean Connery, Sam Elliot, Tom Sellick, Burt Renolds, and Clint Eastwood. I'll do them

[sc4play]

So far we haven't ran into any problem's with the age thing.We are in the 45+ group.I guess it's all how you look at the picture.We genearlly try to focus on personally,rather that age.And yes Julie we remember the old way's of snail mail.

[SCcpl40]

Maturity is not measured by actual age, but more by actions, intentional or unintentional. The lifestyle is made up by a broad spectrum of people. There are those that have more acceptance of differences as in; age, color, religion, social status and experiences, and then there are those who put up limitations and exclusions which are defined in their profiles or their social attitudes. For us mature,non judgmental people we meet in the lifestyle, are true lifestyle people. Genuine, honest, open minded, and accepting. Those people will always draw more in the long run than those who are all flash have no substance.

[Tybee Swing]

We've seen generational differences, but what we've seen isn't our age group being "intolerant" of the young end of the spectrum. The younger set seems to segregate themselves into their own group and not even talk to anyone who appears to be a little older. We're friendly and will talk to everyone, but many in this age group seem to not even want to be friendly outside of their clique. Not sure why that is!

I've noticed more intolerance toward older people even in everyday life. I work in an office with a wide range of ages, and we all get along fine, but I still see it there. The breakroom has a big-screen TV. One day, the 20-something girls in the office were watching a Janet Jackson music video. I was thinking, "Damn, she looks great". They started a commentary - "Ewww, she's like, 40 or something!" They went on to talk that way about others who were, like, 40. Would I rather have sex with people who don't look at me as "older folk", but only see me as an equal and don't even think about my age bracket (because they're probably in the same bracket)? Hell, yes!

[Playful1]

Okay, I'm a "young one" 23yrs old. Here's my take, though I warn it, it likely is not the typical of people my age, as I got into swinging through people in their mid 30's, and don't really swing much with folks my own age. Personally, i dont have age limits, other than if you look my grandfather, i probably wont be interested, i've had a good time with people my age and people in their mid to upper 40's

-The older folks definitely get down to playing faster.
-The older folks generally have less drama as they know what they are looking for/like/etc.
-younger folks do seem to have a show off attitude and what i call "the pretty people syndrome" where they only play with "the pretty people" who most of the time, dont even play...they just like going to parties and feeling "cool"
-i've run into many more women who aren't really bi in the younger ones...the ones who just like to put on a show for folks, or do it because they think they need to (this one really pisses me off)
-Both groups seem to have the same biases though, towards BDSM, bisexual men, and basically any other "kink" besides swinging, and even then, if you dont do "their" kind of swinging, they might think you're a swinger. not everyone thinks this way of course, but a large number seem to.
-Younger ones seem to refuse to set a date for anything ahead of time...instead waiting for the BBD(bigger better deal) and then calling 3hrs before saturday night asking if you are free.
-both seem to assume the worst about people out of their age range...young ones think older folks are stodgy, gross, and aren't "hip", while the older ones assume that the younger ones are immature and will never play. again, not everyone thinks this, but i've run into a lot of it. i love getting the comments from older folks of "oh, you're actually really mature, we were so suprised" or "oh, you actually play", etc.

there are more, but i'm starting to go on a tangent, lol, so i'll leave it at that.

[foozballnow]

We saw a little bit of this when we first started. We are quite young, 22 and 23, and many people would look at us with dubious eyes. After they saw us a few times though and talked to us and saw we were for real and weren't there for a show, everyone was very nice to us. We do get the occasional email on our ad site from people saying "wow you guys are so young and cute". Needless to say we just delete the emails. We don't care if you have kids our age, aren't we all here to have fun.

And we totally agree with Playful1's comments. We love to party with people in their late 30's and 40's. Age is just a number and they know how to have a good time, thats what we want. We just want to have some fun and however old you are doesn't matter to us so it shouldn't matter to them. If it does thats their fault. We have plenty of other friends.