Swinger Speed Dating

[JustAskJulie]

I've seen this as an event at a few different clubs recently. Has anyone attended one of these sessions? Is it like the typical (singles) speed dating, where you sit around tables and trade off every few minutes? I can think of an interesting alternative for that at an on-premise club ;-)

Actually, thinking about it, a speed date type setup would be a great ice-breaker at an off-premise / social type situation. The early part of the evening at socials (before people start getting up and dancing) is often really awkward and it would give everyone a really good chance to meet people (and actually talk to them) that they might not otherwise.

[two4youinswva]

You know, that really sounds cool!
What a great icebreaker for an off-premise club. This would really help those that have a hard time making that initial introduction.
We love it!

[BradAndJanet]

I think it would be a great idea, Julie!

-B

[playmatesinpgh]

We would go to one of those in a New York minute... facelick .. Sounds like it would be alot of fun, especially at an off-premise club.

[oncewere]

In our club we often began with a change partner dance. You would start with your date to slow sexy music and every so often someone would call out "Change partners". Another thing we did was to hand everyone a 5 by 7 card on which were three questions. Some times everyone would have to get answers from as many people as possible, sometimes just from one randomly paired person. The erotic questions added to the spirit. These were great mixers. Nudity started early in the evening at our meetings so dancing naked with strangers is a great way to get to know people. sometimes we'd do a "progressive dance" (see the stories in the stories section- "a mixer progressive dance" and "more mixers"). Often at the end of a meeting we'd all participate in a "circle shag" in which everyone got to play briefly with everyone else. We were a close knit group, comfortable with each other and always ready to help newbies get acquainted and get started. I'm not sure how our mixers would work in the modern environment

[JustAskJulie]

The thread "And Then She opened her mouth" and the discussion going on there over whether or not it's worthwhile to meet people over dinner and potentially waste a night out brought something to mind.

Many folks have expressed that they don't like clubs because of the noise (and I can definately understand that - luckily our club has areas where you can go and get away from the music), so your choices are to meet a couple for dinner or at the very least over coffee or drinks to find out if you want to get to know them further. Those who have mentioned they prefer clubs have also mentioned that they like the idea that if things don't work with that couple there are plenty of others to meet.

So my thoughts...

What about a swinger speed dating event. No loud music, just couples meeting and spending 5 minutes together before moving on to the next couple. This would continue until all the couples have met each other and then when it's done whatever happens from there happens. Maybe then the music could be turned on and those who want to play can play those who want to continue to chat can do so... whatever.

Another thought I had... would you be open to a multi-date. IE. Instead of meeting just one couple for dinner, invite 3 or 4 out for dinner. Everyone gets a chance to get to know each other. You get to meet 3 or4 different couples andsee if any of you click... One of our local socials has "dinner &...." nights about once a month and we do like going to these because there are usually enough people at them that we will be able to have a conversation with someone without being STUCK with one couple.

How would you feel about being invited out to dinner with 3 or 4 couples where none had previously met, obviously it is most likely that all have contacted the coordinating couple (it might be a little like the 5th Wheel (dating show) for swinging couples, except in this case you have as much likelhood to end up with someone at the end of the date, whether you end up with the primary target or not).

In the end, whatever your tastes are on how you prefer to meet people, there are options out there to please you, you just have to look for them.... OR create them.

[Trace Ekies]

We have done something like this. It's like a cross between a date and a Meet 'n Greet.

I our case, we were asked to attend by a "watch and be watched" couple that we are very close to. We were there as friends to support our friends and meet some new people.

They invited 10 couples that they had contacted through email or had contacted them through email. Of the 10, 7 showed. We had a great time and think that everyone else did as well.

In our opinion, the fact that the invitation was not done in an open forum such as Swingersboard precludes it from being a Meet 'n Greet and the fact that multiple couples were invited prevents it from being a "date". In the end, everyone who was invited knew the host and had some form of one on one contact with the host prior to meeting, so the chance that they might meet someone that they don't want to spend time with was reduced (these were someone else's words, not mine).

Save for the host couple, who are very close friends, we have not followed up with any of the couples we met that night. So for us we saw no net advantage in this particular case to the "Speed Swinging" technique. We do know however that the concept works because our close friends from above came from a meet a greet that they invited us to after we asked them to critique some of our profile photos.

We would not be offended, bothered or even a bit miffed to be invited to dinner with a group by a "host" couple. It's a good time and removes some pressure from 4 people and spreads it over a larger group. The key is that all parties are clear on the multiple invites that are being sent out.

Trace

[des1re06]

Menages did this once and we participated. Unfortunately, we didn't click with any of the couples, but thought it was fun.

[sweet_tna]

An interesting concept for sure, Julie. We tend to like the M&G's and parties for the very reason that it gives us the chance to meet several couples in an evening without being "tied" to anyone. That said, I'll try most anything once . . .

=)

[LFM2]

That is an interesting concept. It also sounds like fun, even if you didn't click with any couple or single. What a fun time that would be.

[cplnuswing]

Interesting idea and sounds like a great way to meet people and a lot of fun. Four or more couples might be ideal. That way, if two couples hit it off right away, the third doesn't feel like the fifth wheel since there are others to chat and socialize with.

Along the same lines, a couple we met at Menages told us about a game they sometimes play at the club where half the couples get a lock, the other half get a key. Score is kept by how many people you meet to see if your key fits their lock. Sounded like fun, but they've never done it on the nights we've been there.

[Spoomonkey]

I think we'd enjoy it. It would actually solve a lot of problems at once that we face. The speed dating would be a blast and the "Multi-date" would be a lot of fun - even of nothing came of it...

But then again - it probably appeals to us because we've been at our club so long we know everyone - and, unlike your club, we really don't have a "quiet place" to get to know people - except rooms which are obviously not the place to get acquainted...

Spoomonkey

[here2play]

I think that would be a blast, take tons of pressure off as well, sign us up!

[cuzzeyesaidso]

There are a couple of local BDSM groups that do monthly brunches. I had pictched the idea of doing something similar for other swingers, but never got any serious interest. Most people would just ask "who's going to be there?" and stuff like that. I'm beginning to see why most of the bigger parties happen in other cities.

[VanHlebar]

Now this would appeal to me over a club. I enjoy going to our local clubs and we almost always have a good time at the clubs, but as I indicated in a different thread, I am not very good at starting off a conversation with a total stranger. We have found that we do a lot better if we are just at the table with a small number of couples or singles than in a huge club full of couples and singles. Why I am not sure, but it is just the way it goes.

We both can carry on a conversation just fine with a small number of couples while eating dinner or just having drinks. After posting in the other thread and then reading this one and posting here now, it really just doesn't make sense to me why it works this way. Strangers are strangers no matter if they are at my table or just standing next to me at the club.

But yea some form of speed dating would be a neat idea as a mixer at a club or social I think and I think that it would work out pretty good for MrsVan and I.

-Van