Interracial Sex, taboo or natural.

[cubnamy1995]

We grew up in an area that was 100% white for 300 miles in any direction. I was 20 years old before I ever saw anyone of a different skin color in person. It never occurred to us to be racist because we had nothing to judge anything on. Because we never were really exposed to different cultures growing up, I think that it is an fun and interesting thing for us to want to experience lovers of different cultures now. We're not racist, we're ignorant. We want to learn all we can.

As I white man, I am very attracted to darker-skinned women. So is my wife. Amy has a thing for latinas. Racist? No, she just likes what she likes. I love black women, ever since I watched Pam Grier movies as a kid. Oh, I would give my left nut for a romp with Alicia Keys...I digress.

I guess what I'm saying is that we are neither just "people are people" or "fetish" about it. We just like the variety is all.

[morethanmarried]

It is tiresome and incredibly incorrect to try to apply the term of racism to this very personal issue. I know I speak for tons of people who, although not biased in even the smallest way in their daily lives, have absolutely no interest in extending that understanding yo having actual sexual relations (the most intimate of acts) with someone from another race. We also realize that many people just do not like the feel of different hair, etc., even with the lights off. It just makes better sense from a variety of perspectives not to intermix races at all.

One must wonder whether there are swinger or dating sites like this that are, intentionally or not, black-oriented with understood, genuine preferences to not see whites intermingle. (And yes, we use the terms "black" and "white" rather than today's supposedly more correct, yet clumsy and often-inaccurate, "African American" and "Caucasion" monikers. (Has no one yet ever stopped to realize that NOT EVERYONE with black skin has African ancestory? How are folks from other places like Jamaica (and even Europe) supposed to feel when society has randonly elected to assign a different nationality to them just because it was convenient to do so? If we did use terms like "Jamaican American" it would make better sense anyway, as the name would reflect their ancestors' true COUNTRY of origin and not cop out with a convenient catch-all CONTINENT term!) (duh)

Too many issues. Too many agendas. And much too much complication that can interfere with the very freedom that brings us to this lifestyle... The majority of white people whom we know have absolutely NO interest in race-mixing. If nothing else, it is much simpler and much more honest to just leave well enough alone and stick with your own kind. It's really not rocket science, and it is something that historically had always been the unquestioned norm. Why have some suddenly decided over the past several years that doing the opposite is now the norm? It simply is not true.

[crazycatz]

Originally Posted by morethanmarried

Too many issues. Too many agendas. And much too much complication that can interfere with the very freedom that brings us to this lifestyle... The majority of white people whom we know have absolutely NO interest in race-mixing. If nothing else, it is much simpler and much more honest to just leave well enough alone and stick with your own kind. It's really not rocket science, and it is something that historically had always been the unquestioned norm. Why have some suddenly decided over the past several years that doing the opposite is now the norm? It simply is not true.

That is one of the most racist statements I've seen expressed in a LONG time! What kind of logic is that??? Historically, Jews have been persecuted and Africans were sold into slavery....just because it's part of history we should keep doing it? jesus in the garden, the mind boggles.

[crazycatz]

Originally Posted by BiloxiCouple

Religion maybe....?

If it isn't one problem we can find another one.

Religion??? What do you mean?
Maybe you are referring to the former Troubles in Northern Ireland but that is not part of Ireland - it's actually the UK...different country altogether.

Still, the swingers clubs up there that are completely open - no restrictions whatsoever.

Also, over here we are not as hung up on looks and physicality so you would be hard pressed to find a club that limit on that basis too.

[SCcpl40]

Originally Posted by morethanmarried

It is tiresome and incredibly incorrect to try to apply the term of racism to this very personal issue. I know I speak for tons of people who, although not biased in even the smallest way in their daily lives, have absolutely no interest in extending that understanding yo having actual sexual relations (the most intimate of acts) with someone from another race. We also realize that many people just do not like the feel of different hair, etc., even with the lights off. It just makes better sense from a variety of perspectives not to intermix races at all.

Racial discrimination is differences in treatment of people on the basis of characteristics which may be classified as racial, including skin color, cultural heritage, and religion.

Denial, apathy, and ignorance often lead people to believe that their stance is OK. It doesn't matter who's making the assertion Red, Yellow, Black or White, it's a fact that if you're excluding on the basis of color alone, you're racist. Don't get offensive if you're labeled for doing exactly that.

The lifestyle has an opportunity to be more open and not exclude people based on all types of discrimination, age, color, religion, social status, and education.

It's OK to base your preferences on compatibility both mental and physical, but you can only do that if either you meet face to face or if a person's profile is complete enough to clearly see that.

[daisy girl]

Originally Posted by morethanmarried

It is tiresome and incredibly incorrect to try to apply the term of racism to this very personal issue. I know I speak for tons of people who, although not biased in even the smallest way in their daily lives, have absolutely no interest in extending that understanding yo having actual sexual relations (the most intimate of acts) with someone from another race. We also realize that many people just do not like the feel of different hair, etc., even with the lights off. It just makes better sense from a variety of perspectives not to intermix races at all.

Unfortunately, it is attitudes such as the one expressed above that prevent America from maximizing the resources of ALL of its citizens. It is only when different perspectives are provided that we see real growth and development.

I prefer to "mix" with good, kind, and decent human beings who are insightful enough to value my true gifts and potential regardless of race.

I am fortunate to have a variety of friends and swing partners from different cultures/races/ethnicities. These partnerships have enrich my life and increased my knowledge of the world.

Closemindedness is fine...but don't assume that everyone else expouses such narrow-minded and 18th century views. Interestingly, the old "people prefer their own kind" argument has been used to justify segregating children, denying women jobs, and a host of other societal indignations.

[two4youinswva]

Originally Posted by morethanmarried

If nothing else, it is much simpler and much more honest to just leave well enough alone and stick with your own kind.

We do try to stick with our own kind. Our "kind" being fun couples that are enjoyable to be around, and that enjoy our company as well. Flavors may vary.

It's really not rocket science, and it is something that historically had always been the unquestioned norm. Why have some suddenly decided over the past several years that doing the opposite is now the norm? It simply is not true.

Historically, monogamous marriage has been the expectation and the norm. Why challenge it?


Oh, btw, welcome to the board!

[hamlet]

You go, daisy girl! Opening yourself up to relationships with people of all races is certain to improve not only the quality of your sex life, but the quality of your life in general.

As I said in a previous post, people have a right to their preferences. And, if it happens that someone prefers not to have sex with black or white people because they don't find the physical characteristics of that particular race to be appealing, that seems just as valid as a decision to exclude blondes, or short people, or men with beards (like me), or whoever it is that doesn't turn you on. Or you can exclude people of a particular race (as Greg and Sheryl do) because you've tried swinging with them and your experiences just haven't been good. But when someone makes a decision not to have sex with black or white people BECAUSE they're black or white, that seems to me to be the essence of racism.

[The Fuse]

Boy, this thread sure has degenerated.

My husband and I are both white. Before swinging, neither of us had ever been with a black person. Now, we have each been with multiple black people. We weren't seeking them because they are black, but when they contacted us (in all but one case where we contacted a mixed couple), we decided whether to meet them the same way we've decided on potential playmates who were white. Are they attractive? Intelligent? Funny? Good company?

Is it natural? Yes, at least for us, because we think that basically people are people. Cultural differences matter to us more than color. Attraction is based on many things, and I felt that skin color shouldn't matter any more than other physical characteristics. But it *is* a physical characteristic, and so it does matter in swinging.

Once I was with a black man, I discovered how nice their skin feels. This is a natural difference and part of the attraction for me...and a real surprise, one of the great things about swinging. I also really dig the whole "ebony and ivory" visual when I am with him, as I am pale and he is pretty dark. So I think that covers the "natural" part of the OP's question.

Is it a taboo? Not for me, but for some people I am sure that's true. The whole Mandingo thing is a good example of that: parties where black men are invited to fuck white women while their husbands watch. It's a fetish which I think is rooted in feelings I wouldn't want to see expressed up close. Personally I think this is twisted for all the participants, but they are going to do what they are going to do.

[JustAskJulie]

Something that happened this weekend brought this thread to the forefront of our minds. We met a couple at the club that seemed like a great couple. We had fun with them, then we got home and looked up their profile on SLS and what did it say?
"We are D&D Free and prefer to stay in our own race. We require that couples we meet feel the same way".
After reading their profile there was more than just that one red flag, but that one was enough. Had we seen their profile before meeting them we never would have contacted them or played with them... and from the looks of it they never would have played with us either, since we don't feel the same way.

[cubnamy1995]

Originally Posted by JustAskJulie

Something that happened this weekend brought this thread to the forefront of our minds. We met a couple at the club that seemed like a great couple. We had fun with them, then we got home and looked up their profile on SLS and what did it say?
"We are D&D Free and prefer to stay in our own race. We require that couples we meet feel the same way".
After reading their profile there was more than just that one red flag, but that one was enough. Had we seen their profile before meeting them we never would have contacted them or played with them... and from the looks of it they never would have played with us either, since we don't feel the same way.

Is this the same couple you blogged about?

[JustAskJulie]

Yup.

[readytoplay105]

We believe it is our constitutional rights to be able to socialize and play with whoever we want. So we are not violating our constitutional rights by not playing with Afro Americans or whoever else we may not want to.

[Pepper & Drew]

Originally Posted by readytoplay105

We believe it is our constitutional rights to be able to socialize and play with whoever we want. So we are not violating our constitutional rights by not playing with Afro Americans or whoever else we may not want to.

They mention fucking people in the Constitution? Who knew?



Don't get your knickers in knots. Nobody gives a rip what your preferences are and it's ok for you to choose who you want to be with. It's also other people's constitutional right to speak freely about racial issues and to choose to be with you or not based on your preferences.

I think it's hysterical that people get all defensive about not wanting to play with certain people. Hey, if you feel it, own it.

Pepper

[havefuninsun]

Originally Posted by readytoplay105

We believe it is our constitutional rights to be able to socialize and play with whoever we want.

Damn. I missed that in history class.