The "Kissing" Rule

[Styles-N-Heidi]

How do you guys feel about this? We met this couple in person at a party after speaking to them for a few weeks on the internet. They had never stated before that they have this rule about kissing but after talking to them in the club for awhile the female looked at me and said, "Baby I will fuck you but we don't kiss." No kissing? Amazingly this is the first time I had ever ran into this since it seems to be a common rule between couples. I never thought about how I would react before but we politely withdrew from the conversation and ended up in a room with a different couple.

What do you guys think of the kissing rule? How would you react to a couple that didn't want to kiss? I never thought it would bother me but when she said that and I actually thought about it I realized that it was a huge turnoff. That's the same as asking me to be a different person in bed. The same as telling me to be a less passionate lover. You will put my dick in your mouth but you wont touch my lips to yours. I just couldn't understand that.

[JustAskJulie]

Hi There and Welcome. This topic has come up a few times here, so if you want more variety of responses just do a search for "kissing" or go to the archives (I think there may be an archive dedicated to it). For me personally, I like to kiss and make-out and while I'm all about working with people's boundaries that is one I just see myself easily screwing up unintentionally. So I would be like you guys and take the pass.

[rpu3]

Yep, this has been discussed a couple times. While I can respect another person's rules, my version of respect is going to be not playing with that couple at all if it comes down to a fundamental turn-on for me. I enjoy kissing throughout a sexual experience as appropriate or wanted, and I think taking kissing out of the equation would really inhibit my good time. And like Julie mentioned, that rule might be broken by accident and no one needs that drama.

[Pepper & Drew]

We played with a couple that had that rule, and honest to Pete, I forgot. I felt so badly about it, it put a damper on play time. Drew said it also was ackward for him. So, we'd pass on a couple that had that rule.

Pepper

[Trace Ekies]

We find kissing to be unbelievably erotic and prefer to spend time with others who enjoy it as well.

I can't say we'd not play with a "no kissing" couple but we'd prefer to kiss.

[sweet_tna]

I've heard of couples that have the no kissing rule, and my guess would be that they feel it's too intimate of a gesture to share with anyone else. I feel like if we're going to have our mouths all over the rest of your body, why should your lips be off limits? My honey and I enjoy kissing, so I think we'd have to pass a "no kissing" couple by.

Welcome to the board!

=)

[ncmd_couple]

From all of my reading and such, couples that have no kissing rules are afraid of emotional entanglements with their swing partners and a passionate kiss looks to the other like they are enjoying it too much and jealousy flares. We love to kiss and cuddle, fondle and touch. We would pass on a no kissing couple as well.

[des1re06]

One of our regular couples has the no tongue kissing rule. I have a very hard time remembering that, but try to respect their wishes.

Mrs. D

[BiloxiCouple]

At least they still wanted to fuck.

If you want to party and not kiss, bring a pacifier so we don't forget

[Darkblue]

Originally Posted by Trace Ekies

We find kissing to be unbelievably erotic and prefer to spend time with others who enjoy it as well.

I can't say we'd not play with a "no kissing" couple but we'd prefer to kiss.

Same here
We do have a couple that we are interested in us and we in them but they dont kiss and we just love to kiss and as of yet we havent played and i dont know if we will, the last couple who had this rule with us meant we said thanks but no thanks..


Steve

[cocpl2007]

We would also take a pass on such a "rule"... Kissing is just too integral to the endeavor, so why bother.

[Styles-N-Heidi]

Originally Posted by ncmd_couple

From all of my reading and such, couples that have no kissing rules are afraid of emotional entanglements with their swing partners and a passionate kiss looks to the other like they are enjoying it too much and jealousy flares. We love to kiss and cuddle, fondle and touch. We would pass on a no kissing couple as well.

In my opinion if they have these types of insecurities they are in the wrong lifestyle anyway.

Sorry for the repost. Give me a little time to warm up to the boards and I will try to alleviate this in the future. Thanks.

[cplnuswing]

Whatever works for them, great, but we would take a pass, kissing is just too much part of the fun. Sex without any kissing would feel so "mechanical" for lack of a better term. Neither of us would like that feeling, kinda like you are just being used, not doing something fun together.

Our initial rules conversation did cover kissing and what at first we were calling "passionate kissing" we quickly determined to be actually something else when neither could define for the other where the line would be. It didn't take us long to realize what was actually being talked about was not any particular type of kiss, but rather no emotional entanglements with playmates. We decided for one to be able to generate the kind of deep emotion in a playmate kiss that the other would feel threatening, that would mean there were bigger problems and we would know about it long before it showed itself with a kiss, so why make a bunch of kissing rules that would feel unnatural.

Maybe this is what a lot of couples are getting at with kissing rules, but instead of addressing their fears head-on, they prefer to do it in a roundabout way? For them, the no kissing is kind of a firewall that they find reassuring as as long as both are sticking to it

[rpu3]

Originally Posted by Styles-N-Heidi

Sorry for the repost. Give me a little time to warm up to the boards and I will try to alleviate this in the future. Thanks.

No worries - if it's a tiresome oft-argued subject, we'll let you know! There's just more opinion out there for the taking if you want to hunt it down!

[safireblues]

I have to do the kissing thing, otherwise I feel like a prostitute.