Letting your nerves get the best of you

[JustAskJulie]

We get a lot of posts from newbies asking if it's normal to be nervous when you meet new people or the first time you go to a club or the first time you are going to swap, etc. I think we'd all agree that for most it doesn't matter how long you have been doing this you still get nervous at times. I started thinking about this and I thought about when my ex and I first gave swinging a thought. We had made plans to meet a group of swingers out at a vanilla bar just to meet them and shoot pool. I was so nervous. We managed to get there and got in the parking lot even, but that was when my nerves got the best of me. I couldn't go in. I just couldn't do it. Luckily, they gave us another chance and we got to meet some great people. But, that could have easily been the end of it for me.

That said, I'm sure I'm not the only one who has let their nerves get the best of me. So what about the rest of you, how about sharing some stories of the times you let your nerves get the best of you... maybe we can help the newbies feel a little better.

[ncmd_couple]

Julie,

L gets nervouse every time we go to a club or meet a couple, even though we had been there or with them before. But she gets over it after a bit.

S

[jennandjamesinm]

I still get nervous every time we go to the club that we normally go to or when we meet up with swinger friends that we already know. Even though I work around LOTS of people, I still have a bit of social anxiety in my personal life.

Jenn

[sweet_tna]

Making a "date" to meet a new couple makes me nervous.

=)

[rpu3]

I'm still nervous even if I'm seeing someone I know quite well. The only difference if I know the person is that the amount of time it takes to get past the awkward nervousness is lessened in relation to the amount of time I've known them. Or the person knows me well enough to just crack a joke to get me past it. I'm a bit awkward socially, actually, so most social situations make me a bit anxious.

For the most part, I just do it, the anxiety/nerves fade, unless something is just off with the situation.

[Texasfuncouple]

We still get butterflies too!

But in our opinion, you rarely get butterflies when anticipating bad things but more in anticipation of how good something may turn out!

~Texasfun

[JustAskJulie]

So am I the only one who ever actually let it get the best of me? No one else ever actually backed out of a meeting because of nerves?

[fun4Ds]

Julie, i cant say that we have actually backed out exactly like you did. but we are close.

we have had to drive around the block more than once a few times.


and then you can imagine my first words blunder awards, i usually receive.

oh yes the nerves get the best sometimes

[Tia Vampire]

We can't say that it has ever kept us from atleast meeting a couple, but we can say that our nerves has kept us from going any further than a meet with a couple.

[MrsVan]

I still to this day get nervous when going to clubs or meeting new couples. I am a very shy person (although some here would say otherwise) but when I get around people I do not know I get sick to my stomach at the thought of how the evening is going to go. It doesn't matter if it is just in a vanilla setting or not, my nerves can get the best of me.

MrsVan

[wewannabebad2]

The first time hubby and I went to an on premise club I got soooo nervous I made hubby drive past the drive way and strait to my fav casino. The second time we circled the block like six times...*lol* Now we have to drive 8 hours to get to our fav club, I still get nervous but I'll be damned if I let it get the best of me again.

[jennandjamesinm]

Originally Posted by JustAskJulie

So am I the only one who ever actually let it get the best of me? No one else ever actually backed out of a meeting because of nerves?

We almost didn't come to the Meet-Up! In Memphis in 2005 because of my nerves. I sat at my house forever and had to talk myself into going. Man, I am glad that I did!!!

Jenn

[cocpl2007]

Originally Posted by JustAskJulie

So am I the only one who ever actually let it get the best of me? No one else ever actually backed out of a meeting because of nerves?

It has been a few years, but our first "house" party with six couples, I was pretty apprehensive about whether or not to even go. Once there, the meet & greet portion (we previously only knew 3 of the six couples) went well, but it just became too overwhelming when the clothes started finding their way to the floor, so We bolted...my doing! I just was not comfortable and the excitement was just the opposite that what I was hoping...anxiety instead of anticipation, so off we went.

We have never returned to such a gathering since. Just not "party" people, at least in that sense.

[swingcouple69]

Originally Posted by JustAskJulie

So am I the only one who ever actually let it get the best of me? No one else ever actually backed out of a meeting because of nerves?

We've not actually let it get the best of us. However when we go to the club that we like to visit, there is a little bar a mile or two before it. We always stop there and before we leave we actually ask each other if we're turning left or right....lol