Where do the old swingers play?

[SCcpl40]

We got involved in the lifestyle when we turned 40. We had pillow talked our fantasies to death and decided as a couple to try the lifestyle. Being 40, we seemed to be at the right age to enjoy everyone, younger and older. Now we're in our 50's and yes while we're older, we have tried to maintain our appearance and attitudes as we were when we started. What we see in so many profiles is a age limit and above 50 is not included in many. We've pretty much dropped off the web sites because of this and we're not as active in going to the socials as we once were. We both enjoy the lifestyle and don't want to be that old couple at a party. My question is, where do older couples go who are not ready for the rocking chair?

[midnightplayer]

Hello and congratulations that both of you are willing to get naked with others. Being a couple you have a distinct advantage in that your acceptance is univesral, regarless of age. I would make several suggestions if I were you. First I would play for a profile on SLS, Swingerlifestyle. This is a great meet website for swingers. Please pay the fee is is small and gives you creditability with other couples In your profile play down your age, and play up your desires, interests, and you physical sense of keeping yourself in shape and willing to play. Then I would look in this site for meet and greets. These are usually cocktail parties, held in later afternoon early evenings at a closed club where couples can do just that meet and greet. You have a glass of wine in your hand and the two of you meet and talk to couples that have your interests. As time goes on you might find that special couple or two that you feel good enough about to go and have dinner with and see if the compatibility is there. Play can follow if all agree. If not nothing lost, just some time. Lastly, consider a swinger club outside of your area where you live. Go to a club and see who you might meet. Hopefully this will give you some ideas. Good Luck

[WesternSwing]

I would check-out and clubs or meet and greets in your area as well as house parties. We've found that although the Internet is a good way to communicate and find out where all the parties are, we mostly meet new people at social events. And I think many that have a 49-year old cap on their profile online may change their mind when they get to know you.

[ncmd_couple]

SCcpl40,

Based upon your SLS profile, if we were in SC, you could go to our house! But seriously, I know what you mean about the profiles. It seems that the cut off is 50 for many couples out there. And quite frankly, I think it is as much their loss as it is ours.

If you have a club you like, and it hasn't been completely overrun by the young croud, keep going there and have fun. Or, you can host your own house parties. The last thing I would do is start thinking we are too old!

S

[MRnMSbhaven]

Originally Posted by WesternSwing

And I think many that have a 49-year old cap on their profile online may change their mind when they get to know you.

Age limits? That's always seemed very counter productive and a tad shallow to me. We set no limits because we know it isn't the age of the body but the interesting mind inside it that really attracts us. We steer clear of those that "need" limits. It simply tells us that they're either 1)newer than we are, or 2) not people we'd be interested in playing with due to lack of depth.
Not that we need some deep academic sort, but a general acceptance of humankind is important to us.

Ms. B

[Miss Sunshine]

Being 53 I take exception to being excluded. But I understand why someone in their 30's want to play with someone in a similar age bracket. If you go to a club and are a 30ish couple in excellent shape, why would you go for an older couple? I still have a lot to offer but age has caught up with me. I enjoy playing with couples my own age, they are more understanding. But, having a young stud couple on occasion is quite nice. I don't think anyone should be excluded, just play with who you want to play with.

[JP51]

We have not had the issue of age make much of a diffrence, and we are 53/52. In fact one couple really seeks us out because they were just starting and wanted to go slow and take it all in. We lead them down the yellow brick road so to speak and when they were ready we all headed off to Desire for a week. Think we managed to see them once, lol... when they came up for air, they are 30 somethings and enjoyed the 24x7 fun times.

[tribbles]

Look on the different sites, like SLS, for where house parties that are aimed at the older swingers are.Look under the Groups too. We have lots in our area.

[sexcupid]

Well, since we are one of those with 50 as our age limit on SLS, I will give my reason for it. I am 29, anyone in their 50s is in my parents generation. And after having one of their best friends get all stalker on me a few years ago, it makes me a little wary is all.

Now, that is not to say that if we see your profile or meet you some where and think that we might be compatible...I will not automatically stop talking to you because of your age. And our first swap was with a couple that she was in her late 30/early 40's and her sweetie was in his mid-50s. But we did take the time to meet them.

If that's the case why do I even bother to put an age limit on the profile? I don't know...some level of comfort? I really can't say....the age range we have listed is 25-50.

I would do the socials or house parties.

Maria

[Pepper & Drew]

Our profile says 55 is our upper age limit, but we don't go to socials or parties and ask for ages. I can't imagine saying, oh, you're 57? Too bad. You're just over the limit. You have to set some sort of limit on the profile, but in person, things can be different. We set an age limit at 55 because if you look and act older than 55, we're probably not going to be compatible, but that doesn't mean that if you're older than that, but you look and act younger (which seems to be the case in your situation, by viewing your profile) we'd automatically turn you down based on age.

Most of the couples we play with are in their 40's and a few are 50. At the socials, while most people are in their 30's and 40's, I've seen many (presumably) older couples. And, unlike the old guy at the vanilla dance clubs, I don't think there's as much 'old couple at the swinger club' stigma.

As with other things in online profiles, sometimes what the profile says is not totally black and white. They are only general statements, but sometimes they don't apply to every couple. I'd write to anyone I was interested in, even if 50 was their cutoff.

Pepper

[Alura]

Originally Posted by SCcpl40

My question is, where do older couples go who are not ready for the rocking chair?

I think they come to the Tulsa Meet Ups, SCcpl40. In November, I don't think we had anybody under 40. The average was probably in the fifties. I'm not sure about that. I didn't ask anybody's age.

Mr. Alura

[southern biker]

we agree where are all the good older cpls

[NumbskullsX2]

We always get a laugh out of profiles where a couple will meet with people 20 years younger than themselves, but not 20 years older because they "don't want to be with somebody their parents age". (we had our first child while still in our teens)

I guess as long as they can find somebody who's not as disgusted by screwing them as they would be if the shoe were on the other foot, they're OK with it.

[couplewanting50]

There is a big range of ages out there. I, the male, am 57 and my partner is 47. At first I had similar thoughts....gee we are too old. As time passed, we developed some new views.

First, those who are young and say, you are too old, like my parents, etc. That has a flip side. They are to young, too immature, too much like our kids, so they are as unappealing to us as we are to them. What mature adult wants to be sexual with someone who seems to act like a 9th grader, relatively speaking? So just forget all of that age stuff.

We have also discovered that older swingers are there, just lower in profile. They are not into the madness of the bar scene with all of the drunkenness and loud stupidity. Whenever we go to swing events of any size, we are always impressed with the numbers of older people, often older than us. As more time passes, there will be more, older people, since swinging is becoming more popular.

Just be patient. Be registered on some sites, paying members, and you will find play partners. They are definitely out there.

[SnozzberryBlu]

We don't have an age limit. Three of the first four couples we played with when we first got back into the lifestyle were about 10-15 years older than us. We learned very quickly that -- duh -- experience makes the experience lol!

I just turned 41... my hubby 42. We recently saw a couple we were interested in, but their profile said something to the effect of "over 35, better be built - over 40, no way - we don't want to screw our parents!" Ha... I still get freaking carded lol! Their loss.

I do admit that couples more than 15 years older than us might not be an immediate turn on, BUT we are also not just into the visual here. A smart, easy going, funny man with a soft touch can rev up my engine a lot faster than a 22 year old stud whose can't even tell you where Iraq is lol!