Subtle ways to spot a swinging couple in public.

[2chase3]

I have heard before there are key points to look for to notice Hotwives/Swinging couples in public. I consider it a myth more than anything, So I will ask the more experienced here if there is any truth in it.
Its rumored you can usually spot a hotwife from the color of nail polish, jewelery,ankle braclelets, preference in shoe style are all indications of a Alternative lifestyle. *I know to categorize a individual from just these simple choices is a stretch to say in the least.*
But say we entertain the thought for a moment, any idea's how to spot signs on the male as well?

Like anything most hobbies/activities have a simple sign to show interest in it.
example: parents with kids in sports might have the football logo or whatever on their vehicle..Sure we have all seen them. Is there a global logo for swinging?lol and do you wear it publicly for the sole purpose?

[ncmd_couple]

I wish there was a way to tell, but swingers are just normal people and most of us don't flaunt it. So the only way I know of is to go to a club or party, then you know that everyone there is there for the same reason!

[oddcouple]

We wear t-shirts with adds on the back

Actually, it would be great if you could tell. We got started when a couple friends made "dry runs" at us a long time ago. As the years went by, we began to discuss some of their comments and began to believe they were swingers.
After not seeing them for many years, our paths crossed again. And again they started making comments that were seemingly jokes, but we felt it was their
way of feeling us out. Finally Ms. O just flat out asked the female, in private,
and she admitted it. She then asked if we were interested and the rest is
history.

Mostly, I believe, is spouse's flirting with the opposite sex in front of their
spouses (with approval).

[good times]

No, not only can you not spot one by how they are dressed, but now days you can't even tell by how they act. Go to any vanilla dance club now days and you will see people acting more sexually aggressive in public than most folks at a swinger club.

[graygo98]

Originally Posted by oddcouple

Mostly, I believe, is spouse's flirting with the opposite sex in front of their
spouses (with approval).

True, but..... There is this new couple up at our lake with a cottage next to long time (vanilla) friends of ours. The frank looks, ease when their spouses were mingling with new acquaintences of the opposite sex, casual touching, all sorts of little things just said "swinger" to us. Nothing definite, but a whole bunch of little things adding up to a sense that they were in the lifestyle.

On a couple of occasions they had couples up from their home town. Our friends told us that these visitors dressed a little provocatively and were very flirty. My male buddy was shocked that one of the other husbands was openly flirting with my friend's wife and his own wife didn't seem to care.

The last time we saw them the husband asked what we did during the winter. Among other things ... skiiing, etc..... I mentioned we like to go out dancing on Saturday nights sometimes. He was all over that.. "Where do you go? What clubs?" He was really interested. A guy? Who plays beer league hockey for relaxation interested in where in Toronto we went out to dance? I think they are probably thinking the same thing about us and he was trying to nail down a clue. After all, if they are in the lifestyle he has probably heard of the clubs in Toronto just like I know the main ones in their town.

Sure, I know. It all circumstantial and "if the glove don't fit you must acquit." But still......

[lovinher]

There outta be a law or something.
It sure would make things a lot easier wouldn't it? We find ourselves wondering all the time if so and so are swingers.
I think throwing out a swinger word like "vanilla" and watching for a reaction is about the only way to find out without outing yourself. Even then you never know and I wouldn't assume anything based on that reaction alone.
We were at a vanilla party (all couples) a few weeks ago and one of the activities was pumpkin carving. One couple who was being creative carved a pumpkin that happens to be a unique avatar on this board. Got us wondering.

So if Barbie happens to read this........

[cuzzeyesaidso]

It would be easier to spot other swingers true, but sooner or later the word would get out and we would all have these strange stereotypes put on us like other misunderstood groups in our society. Masons and the gay/lesbian communities come to mind.

[two4youinswva]

"Are they or aren't they?"

It's a fun little game we play from time to time.

We've never considered it as a way to meet couples though.
Too many other methods that are more productive and easier.



But it is a fun game, isn't it?

[ncmd_couple]

Being a swinger is kind of like shaving below. When I started doing it years ago, sitting in a business meeting looking at the people around the table, you wonder... Hmmm... who else....

[Darkblue]

ROFL... When were out we are always asking ourselves "are they or arnt they" and if not would they?....
Over here they dont have any specific words like "Vanille" so its not an option for use that we could use i wish it was then we could drop the odd "vanille" here and there and see what happens


Steve

[2chase3]

I agree with DarkBlue, the word vanilla is something We havnt ran across much either, but then again we are not what you would call Die Hards.

Even something initially before contact that would give you a good clue of a couple being in a alternative lifestyle. say a global symbol known among swingers. which comes to mind, it was rumored the rubber wrist bands young people wore that where the color stood for a favored sexual position or preference.

We should give it a shot, and just see where it goes. Someone with a great underlying symbol, animal, etc.Something not so obvious to a crowd but a red flag for a swinging couple. lets hear your thoughts.

[Darkblue]

What about a sticker with"we live our dreams how about you?" or "we do what you dream about"

Steve

[Tybee Swing]

Originally Posted by 2chase3

I agree with DarkBlue, the word vanilla is something We havnt ran across much either, but then again we are not what you would call Die Hards.

I used to host a board on iVillage about sex and marital intimacy. There were no swingers there. The people there used the word "vanilla", but it had a different meaning. To regular monogamous couples (the ones we call vanilla), the word "vanilla" means people who have sex in the dark, are opposed to toys, opposed to the use of porn for couples, hardly do anything beyond missionary, too embarrassed to talk about sex, etc. So, "vanilla" is in the eye of the beholder.

To the BDSM community, swingers are vanilla. I used to visit a board called "Taboos", and they referred to everyone outside of BDSM as vanilla.

[Tybee Swing]

Originally Posted by 2chase3

Its rumored you can usually spot a hotwife from the color of nail polish, jewelery,ankle braclelets, preference in shoe style are all indications of a Alternative lifestyle.

I'm interested to hear what styles and colors they believe to be hotwife/swinger clues? What color of nail polish? What jewelry? What type of shoe?

Whenever I meet many women in swinging such as at large events, it's always noteworthy to me how different each and every one of them are, and how little they all have in common, visually. It just seems that every type is represented. Some of them are extremely casual, no makeup, no sexy shoes or anything like that.

[ncmd_couple]

I think that there are some cultural symbols that have been used from time to time. One evening Lee was getting ready for us to go to a swing club and she was dressing in red. Red shoes, red dress, red nail polish, and red lipstick! She made a comment that when she was young that a woman who wore red shoes, nails, and lipstick were considered to be "sluts" in her community. We both got a laugh out of that...