Comming out in public

[mrachel2]

Comming out in public..
i want to know about those of you here that DO NOT HIDE there lifestyle.
eveyone else i enderstand why you want to stay "quiet" job, famely kids.
But i want to have info from those that have been public.
does not have to be a poster board on the front yard ++swingers live here++
but you know, dress the way you like,
in public with non lifestyle freinds meeting lovers
i am french and i hope you enderstand what i want to know
i have a dession to make not just about rejoining the swing lifestyle but livng my life in a sexual manner without hideing my self,
auto destruct utopia
or marital bliss.
rachel

[WesternSwing]

We're not totally public about being swingers any more than we're totally public about our sex life in general. Even those we do know that have been outed to their family, friends and neighbors don't live their life any differently much less dress any differently because "now everyone knows". I would say they just carry on their life exactly as before anyone knew.

Not allot of help I'm sure, but nobody I know starts acting or dressing different in their daily life and interactions with the general public just because they are openly swingers.

Mr. WS

[Miss_Piggy]

With certain close friends we did go to the effort of actually "coming out." Now we don't really tell people but we don't hide it at all.

For a time we were really gossiped about by friends of friends which was difficult. Now that has died down a lot and we've cut a lot of irritating people out of our lives.

Currently, we do whatever feels natural to us and if that sometimes makes people think twice we don't worry about it. If it makes them curious enough to ask questions then we are open about it. For the most part our actions, like WesternSwing mentioned, are pretty normal.

We're pretty sure that our families don't know. Although, I did tell my mom recently that I want two husbands. She thought I was kidding... I wasn't

[fun4Ds]

QUOTE=mrachel2;291451]Comming out in public..
i want to know about those of you here that DO NOT HIDE there lifestyle.
eveyone else i enderstand why you want to stay "quiet" job, family kids.
But i want to have info from those that have been public.
does not have to be a poster board on the front yard ++swingers live here++

our kids and some family do know about our secrete hobby

no we don't have the (swingers live here sign in the yard).

if its hot out we dress less.if its cold out we bundle up.like normal people at the store.

but you know, dress the way you like,
in public with non lifestyle Friends meeting lovers

presuming you are referring to a vanilla bar, we dress normally. Mrs.fun likes to look good and even dress sexy at times, but certainly not slutty.our kids are old enough to walk in the vanilla bar we may be in.I'm shur even though they know about our secret life they wouldn't want to see mom looking slutty

if we are at a club or even in a private setting, heeeyyyy we are all about the slut wear

i am french and i hope you enderstand what i want to know
i have a dession to make not just about rejoining the swing lifestyle but livng my life in a sexual manner without hideing my self,
auto destruct utopia
or marital bliss.
rachel

i see no reasons that a person shouldn't dress to look sexual if that matches their personality. the things that should be considered however are, the people that you are with. if its your spouse,family or close friend that might be embarrassed because of the way you dress in public, then their feelings should at least be considered and respected.

[SAMnTINA]

We "Came Out" on national TV, but who watches Oprah right it's just day time TV.

Was not something we thought about a lot before the Oprah people approached us at a swing convention in Chicago, and when first asked we said "Hell No". But after a long weekend a few drinks and an interview in shadow, where we found the producers to be both forth right and honest about looking to present information not a hatchet job, we said what the heck.

It also helped that many or our lifestyle friends to us to do is a "you are so normal and ordinary, have jobs and all your teeth" (Just how we hoped they would think of us). So we told the producers that we would talk it over with our kids to see if they could handle it and get back with them. The teen agers when told we ever swingers went YUCK TMI, and when asked if they had a problem with us going on Oprah, said "It's day time TV none of our friends watch that, so what do we care".

As for the after effects, we don't run around dressed like hookers, and we don't make a big deal about it, if someone asks we are honest and tell them yes we are swingers so. We are happy to answer any questions (Most people don't ask). We had a few clients who saw the show and were brave enough to say something and for them the hot questions were "you were on Oprah right? What is Oprah like?"

All of our employees know and we tell new hires that our firm handles work for adult business and that we are swingers so if that’s a problem they best not accept the job. We also tell them we have a rule that we do not play with employees. (and rule we stick too hard and fast) Have yet to have one turn down the job as they would not be able to play with us (but we keep hoping).

In our world it's turns out not to be a big deal as long as we don't make it one. Our firm did not loose any clients (Even the ministers came back guess tax savings is more important then who or what we do afterhours).

We were always open with our kids about sex, never said don't until your married or sex is bad so they understand that sex is not love and they know we love each other and they don't want to know any more now then before we told them (always hated us kissing in public and holding hands). The policy at home is now Don't ask as we will tell, so when we go away for a weekend they say oh its one of those weekends, and little else.

We are careful not to rub what we do in any ones face be for those who ask we are open and for those who judge (then have not been any that we know of) that’s there problem.

[mrachel2]

fantastic replys thanks
could it be that simple. just might be.
ok here is a different angle.on the same question.
you guys live a "normal life" work kids bills and sex,
what if you wanted to be more "expose"
what iam thinking is hard for me to express but what if you wanted your husband co worker to know that i have sex without him,or going to a party and leaving with some guy for a hour or so,
i would never go to the school to pick up the kids wearing a sheer top,but if you come to my house and i feel like wearing my sheer black blouse so be it.
when i was 20 my boyfeind and i were all about sex and did enjoy many other guys and i was very sexualy free, all ou freinds were aware of it, i dont think i ever was a cheap slut,
freinds would come over to watch the dam football game and would tease them, and even sometime grab one for a little play of my own.
would it be possible to live that way even for a short time.

[fun4Ds]

you guys live a "normal life" work kids bills and sex,
what if you wanted to be more "expose"

not in front of the kids

what iam thinking is hard for me to express but what if you wanted your husband co worker to know that i have sex without him,or going to a party and leaving with some guy for a hour or so,

as a husband myself, i would want you to talk to me. sit down (without the kids around) and discuss everything. i would want to know who, where,when and why. i would want to know my partners feelings and at the same time have my feelings respected.

i would never go to the school to pick up the kids wearing a sheer top,but if you come to my house and i feel like wearing my sheer black blouse so be it.

maby we have a different way of life, and i dont mean to keep implying but, if the kids weren't at home and you and your husband, have a possible playmate over. then yes, dress for success.but we would be discrete about our lifestyle.silly americans maby,but it is our standards.its our way of life



when i was 20 my boyfeind and i were all about sex and did enjoy many other guys and i was very sexualy free, all ou freinds were aware of it,

i dont think i ever was a cheap slut,

im not implying that,

freinds would come over to watch the dam football game and would tease them, and even sometime grab one for a little play of my own.
would it be possible to live that way even for a short time.

[/quote]


may i ask, do you have children at home? if so, what are their ages? all of this is important to the responses.you see our children have grown and live away from the house.so what we would have had rules for then, when they were home are different now that they are adults and not at home.