Got a question, its about my wife

[Cerberus]

My wife started playing around doing 3 somes. I enjoyed wactching her with another guy so we did that a few times. She has a friend (very cute) that she said she would ALLOW me to do.......I have not had sex with her friend but she has gven me head in bed all of together.
FRIDAY
last weekend I posted and ad on CL and found another couple and they came over. we had a good time skinny dipped, drank etc. Then off to the bedroom and had a foursome. It was the first time she had seen me with another woman. She was right next to me with the other guy while i was doing 69 with his bride.

All was great etc.
Saturday
Here is the issue. during that night i had also invited another couple over they showed up Saturday night. Shocked to me but i seemed ( i found out later) my mrs wanted a quiet evening.
They show up and during a talk by the pool we find out they are 18 her and he is 21.
SHE is not hitting off and I wanted to do the the lovely in front of me. I got the message from her so I told the other couple that maybe it just wasnt a good time and thank you for coming by..


Well alter that night she expressed to me that this couple made her feel dirty and that maybe she wasnt in to this "whole deal"

It seems after she loosens up and we are having fun she wants to but this couple really freaked her out.


Problem:


Now I am afraid to bring it up again. She has not said NO but did say exactly "i dont know if i want to do that again" "I was doing it for you because you enjoyed it"

I feel like she got jealous seeing me with another because when we would have threesomes with another guy she fully enjoyed it to the point where we/she would do it with the guy 2-3 tiimes in one night.

I feel like she got jealous....


What should I do




Sorry for the first post being so long

[Cerberus]

Oh one more addition.....the first couple we played with she did say she wouldnt mind if they came over again...she liked them....

[ShellyM]

In honesty I don't feel that she got jealous because you said she had a great time when you did the 4some on Friday. Anytime a woman has any issue people automatically assume she is jealous. I don't think so, perhaps I'm wrong. The easiest thing to do is ask her about what she is feeling. Now, when she said that the couple made her feel dirty, was she talking about the couple from Fri. or the young couple on Sat.? I took it as the couple on Sat. Now, I know that me as a woman...we get "vibes" about people, in particular other women. Some women we like and trust, no problems. And others I would not trust as far as I can throw my house. You just don't, I can't explain it. If she was jealous than listen, this lifestyle isn't for everyone. Its just not. You may need to chalk it up to you tried it, it was fun but just not for her. I don't know what to tell you. I know that in MFM's she has fun. I'll give you my opinion on this, and this is just my own personal opinion. Whats good for the goose is good for the gander. I don't think its fair for a person to say that they enjoy playing but don't want the other to.....if but thats just ME. Anyways, best of luck to you. The best thing to do I think is sit down with her and talk about what happened. Shelly

[Cerberus]

Thanks Shelly.
The saturday people freaked her out.

During our conversation the next day she said she has mixed feelings and felt dirty but really enjoyed. She loves the fact that she can be sexually open.

I feel its my fault a bit for maing this an everyweekend deal for like 3 weekends in a row.

I think I will lay off this weekend and just chill.............

The 18 year old girl reminded her of another girl that she really dislikes. The guy was a total redneck type loser and very unintelligent.......

[DanBridget]

I would like to add one more thing to this. Communication, you stated that your wife wanted a night in just you two. This may have added to the dislike to the young couple on Saturday night.

[ShellyM]

Originally Posted by Cerberus

Thanks Shelly.
The saturday people freaked her out.

During our conversation the next day she said she has mixed feelings and felt dirty but really enjoyed. She loves the fact that she can be sexually open.

I feel its my fault a bit for maing this an everyweekend deal for like 3 weekends in a row.

I think I will lay off this weekend and just chill.............

The 18 year old girl reminded her of another girl that she really dislikes. The guy was a total redneck type loser and very unintelligent.......

Okay, I think its just THAT couple and not jealousy. And YES.....great sex is like a great song...after the radio stations play it every 30 minutes for 2 weeks you get tired of it and need a break. So yes, I know with us we keep it as a treat, a wonderful diversion from our wonderful regular life.....also, I know that alot of couples do this. After play it would be nice for you and your wife to have some YOU time....snuggling, cuddling together and making love. This way she is reinforced that SHE is the love of your life.
Shelly

[sexcupid]

Originally Posted by Cerberus

Saturday
Here is the issue. during that night i had also invited another couple over they showed up Saturday night. Shocked to me but i seemed ( i found out later) my mrs wanted a quiet evening.
They show up and during a talk by the pool we find out they are 18 her and he is 21.
SHE is not hitting off and I wanted to do the the lovely in front of me. I got the message from her so I told the other couple that maybe it just wasnt a good time and thank you for coming by..

Well I agree with other posters that if your Mrs. was wanting an evening to just chill out at home with you, and then here comes a play date knocking on the door...well, I wouldn't be rude enough to turn them out on their asses, but I may not be a little ray of sunshine either.

And out of curiosity, what are your ages? If you are in your early 40s or so, maybe your wife is just squicked out by the thought of either of you having sex with someone that is young enough to be your child? And, depending on age, even the most confidant woman will not feel that way when feeling like she is being compared to some one that hasn't had children and has youth on their side.

I'm 28, my boyfriend is 43. I would be uncomfortable with him having sex with an 18 year old. Of course, he would see it as a huge ego boost and what not. But that's just my POV.

Also, too much of a good thing gets to be routine. Back in the spring, for about a month or so we went to the club almost every weekend (usually Friday nights). It was exciting the first couple of weeks, but it kind of lost it's luster for us trying to go all the time. So now, we would rather just play on occasion. Sometimes it takes a little trial and error to strike a balance.

Good luck,

Maria

[lovinher]

You invited a couple over without your wife knowing about it? If she had been part of the screening process your delema would never had happened.
I think you got off lucky.

[couple4fun2821]

Originally Posted by lovinher

You invited a couple over without your wife knowing about it? If she had been part of the screening process your delema would never had happened.
I think you got off lucky.

Very much agreed. Also... two couples in one weekend? You guys must not have kids. LOL

[des1re06]

You sound alot like us when we first started (but it was hubby who was unsure), and I think it's very common (from talking to others).

It doesn't sound like jealousy, but too much too fast, and the wrong couple. You're not going to hit it off with a large majority of the couples you meet, but that's not a bad thing. She has every right to be picky.

Have fun!

Mrs. D

[Cerberus]

I am 40 and she is 24

Yes this is all very great advice thanks!
She agreed the night before but I forgot until 30 minute Prior to arrival. then is was just a text message syaing they will be there in 30 minutes. they arrived in 10.

She really doesnt have a problem with age 18 or 50 she is ok with as long as the sex is good

[IrvTxCouple]

It has been said before, but this lifestyle is meant to be fun. But just like in all things, it does need some moderation.

A few times the Mrs and I played back to back days, and sometimes it is tough to do. We eventually figured out for us, that after we play, we need a few days to ourselves and that may be exactly what you folks need as well.

[Cerberus]

a dallas couple! hey

[prettylady]

I had a bad experience in the beginning and it nearly turned me right off of swinging entirely. I struggled with this one for MONTHS. But other times with other couples was good and great. But let me tell you, one bad experience can be a real buzz kill for some. It was not jealousy, just not the right chemistry.
Best of luck
Your friend,
Prettylady

[lovinher]

She agreed the night before but I forgot until 30 minute Prior to arrival.

You forgot it?
Call me a cynic but I don't buy that.

Here is the issue. during that night i had also invited another couple over they showed up Saturday night. Shocked to me but i seemed ( i found out later) my mrs wanted a quiet evening.

So she agreed to have a quiet evening or to have them come over?