Frustrated

[Beaverbumper]

Diane and I have been in the lifestlye for awhile now and we are experiencing a few negative aspects..Like contacted couple in our own weight and age group seem to only want the Ken and Barbie types. Then theres the email freaks, game player and those that dont even have the curtasy to reply when we took our time to contact them.. Bottom line is there website that have real people and if there are real couple in their late 50s and up then lets hear your side to all this..

[Tybee Swing]

Originally Posted by Beaverbumper

Diane and I have been in the lifestlye for awhile now and we are experiencing a few negative aspects..

Hi Beavers, are you running into a dry spell with the profiles? This happens to everybody. Seems it's either feast or famine with that. Have you been successful through the profiles in the past?

Originally Posted by Beaverbumper

Like contacted couple in our own weight and age group seem to only want the Ken and Barbie types.

Just curious about this...your age group is upper 50's, I see in your profile. What do you mean they're looking only for Ken/Barbie? As in, much younger? Moving away from the Ken/Barbie term, what are they like, and what exactly are they looking for?

In reading your profile, I think it's possible that some other factors could be playing into it. Your profile says that you play without condoms, that you're "au naturale" as far as that goes. Does that mean that you won't use condoms, or are you flexible on that point? You might want to clarify that for your readers. If you won't use condoms, that will eliminate a lot of potential playmates. Your choice of course, but you will need to accept that you will have fewer matches with preferences like that. Be true to yourselves, but also know that certain things narrow the range of playmates.

[daisy girl]

I agree with the no condoms comment. That seems like it would eliminate a lot of potential people.

[ShellyM]

OP,
its SO not easy to play with other couples at times. I agree, its usually feast or famine. In the summer families are vacationing and then during the holidays people are busy. I also agree, if you are committed to bareback only keep it in your profile...but it will detract alot of couples. You may want to be compromising on that. Not many couples will play bareback with a couple they have just met...this is something that is usually reserved for couples you know and have played with previously. I do like the humor in your profile though, i think thats great.
Shelly

[Beaverbumper]

Yes of course Im flexable when comes to wearing condums so I will put that in my profile. When it comes to the Ken and Barbie terms they seem to want hard bodies and a youthfull look.

[tribbles]

WE have never had luck online but there are real clubs with real people, of all ages and sizes, that we have lots of fun at.

Any near you that you could try out?

[nwmifun]

I see that they're in lower mid-Michigan, and so to answer for them, unfortunately there is only one club to try (in all of Michigan). But fortunately it's nearer to them. We've never tried it in our time in the great white north, but but we avoided it didn't sound like it was up our alley as far as what we heard from respected friends about the clientelle and cleanliness. But again, we haven't actually been there, so we can't speak. It's just outside of the Kalamazoo area (I think it's either in Decatur or Lawton or one of those small communities, but not far from you in Union City) and it is called the Meeting Place. They have links on most swinger websites, I'd say definitely check them out.

Michigan's only real other option is the "dances" that you find all over the place. They seemed like a nice place to meet people of all shapes, sizes, and preferences but they just weren't our cup of tea, though we did attend a couple of them.

It sure would be nice if an investor would bring a Trapeze type extablishment into Michigan (lol - even though we're in FL now). I'm thinking the Detroit are would be the only option on where to put it as Grand Rapids (the only other town of any size) has an extremely far to the right religious community and you'd get nothing but headaches. But I'm sure someone with the resources to do it would make some serious cash if they were to build a high class club catering to the upscale people in the Oakland County/Detroit Metro area.

Alright, well, I've completely taken this conversation off topic. Sorry!!

[graygo98]

Hi, sorry to hear that you are frustrated. The online world is tough, you can't easily show the charm or the spark that can make people so attractive in person.

We tend to get a lot of contacts. Like many others, we also have very little time to actually meet new people. So, when we look at profiles its more a process of elimination rather than one of qualification, at least at first go round. You could have a number of things going for you, but one or two negatives and its a very polite thanks but no thanks. We know we probably miss a lot of really great people that way, but que sera sera.

Your profile had a few negatives for me. It may seem arbitrary, but:

• the screen name seems a bit crass
  the picture of the attractive lady is spoiled by the smoke.... just not a classy look to me
  the first two lines of the profile sound negative, defensive and almost whiny

We would probably be making a mistake, but on that shallow and arbitrary assessment we would pass to the next profile. Come out with a more positive feel and you might find your success would improve. But, that's just me....

[JustAskJulie]

I'm guessing from this statement

Like contacted couple in our own weight and age group seem to only want the Ken and Barbie types.

that you are not what most would classify as Ken & Barbie...

Everyone has their own preferences and yes often people's preferences are going to be for something that even they are not... that's what a fantasy is all about.. fantasizing about what you'd LIKE to have. If you are having a problem with people overlooking you because of your looks or because you don't fit what they say they want as far as looks go, you may find that you have better luck with actual clubs where people have a better option of getting to know you for you rather than just a picture and a few printed words. I find that online people are much pickier (based on looks and other things) and quicker to rule someone out than they might be in a face to face situation.

[sexcupid]

Originally Posted by graygo98

Your profile had a few negatives for me. It may seem arbitrary, but:

• the screen name seems a bit crass
  the picture of the attractive lady is spoiled by the smoke.... just not a classy look to me
  the first two lines of the profile sound negative, defensive and almost whiny

The name isn't a problem for me (there are plenty on SLS that are more crass, suggestive,etc.).

Maybe posting more pictures of the two of you would help. That is one of my biggest peeves when looking at profiles, I want to see both halves of the couple. Recent, clothed pictures are always good...we'll trade the nudes/suggestive ones a little later in time. Agree only a little with the comment above about having the cigarette in the picture, if you list yourself as a smoker I don't see the reason to have a pic of doing it (unless it's relevant to the surroundings the picture was taken in).

I do get the humor in your intro...kind of like the leading 'yes' questions that they try to get in a sales pitch. But just because you aren't a 'hardbody' doesn't mean you are 'overweight'. Maybe a little out of your 'ideal' weight...but I would probably word that differently....like 'tired of other couples that wanna play with their grandkids age group?' (Don't mean to offend with that one.)

Also spelling of some words: condom, jealousy, and 'au natural' or 'au naturel' (I've see both spellings but I think the last one is actually correct).

I am just speculating on this point, but maybe some in your age group are just trying to deny that they are getting older if they still 'have it' to attract a younger couple? If we are swinging then, I'm sure it'd be a big ego boost to me.

Good luck,

Maria