So do any couples here still have sex with other couples?

[Chicup]

A couple of months ago Mrs. Chicup was reading the swingers board. This is notable because she doesn't often read it, internet posting is not her thing. So I look over her shoulder at the post she is reading and it had a lot of old names which no longer post and I see the post itself is over two years old.

I asked her why she was reading such an old thread and her response was the new ones really weren't very interesting to her.

I myself had been having the same thoughts as it seems we don't get nearly as many swingers posts or swingers questions as we used to. It seems to be fringe elements, cuckolds, and threesomes for the most part.

Now maybe I'm just perceiving things this way and its not really the case, but I have to wonder. Has swinging 'slowed down' from the seeming rush of new swingers over the last five years, has the board slowed down, or am I just old and jaded and things are still pretty much the same?

[graygo98]

Ah, the old "what is swinging" question. Is it strictly a couples game (sort of the 90's take) or is it it recreational sex between people who are not married to each other (Austin Powers, anyone?)?

Let me be the first of many to say that the definition varies for everyone in the lifestyle. I would place us sort of in the middle of the continuum... threesomes are in, but the hotwife and cuckold lifestyles would not be.

And, knowing I will be called incredibly closeminded and hypocritical, scat, watersports and the many other BDSM type fetishes are way outside. Not to say that they aren't valid or fun or that they don't have their place. But, its just not here. IMHO.

[NellieSC4]

I think the "swinging" term has changed over the years. When we are asked do we swing we tell people no. Although we do invite single males to play, and are open to same room sex with other couples. People tell us "oh well you are swingers then". I had always thought that swinging ment couples swapping. But have had several conversations over the last couple of months with other people where they view any "play" outside the "vanilla" world as "swinging".


http://DDoubleD38.swinglifestyle.com

[sunrise_sunset]

yes, we had 'sex' with others at the hotel convention in Charlotte 3 weeks ago. Some very enjoyable soft swing!

[lovinher]

I am probably not qualified to answer this because we are not officially swingers yet. Not in my book anyway.

But I have also wondered what is going on. I look at old posts all the time and have definitely noticed a shift in posts. It seems to me that the "fringe" has no other place to post as we do here. They know they will be accepted somewhat so why not post on the SWINGERS BOARD. Where else can you go to post about your "hot wife" or your cuckold desires?

The term swingers seems to have been redefined to mean anything that has to do about sex that the vanilla world thinks of as perverted. There was a time when "swingers" meant "wife swapping". Not politically correct I know the point is the same. I don't mean to offend anyone but IMO swingers are a couple who engage in sex with another couple. I know others don't agree but that is their right I guess, just as I have a right to my own opinion.

I don't consider singles, cuckolds and exhibitionists (long list) to be swingers but where else can they go? I am not saying their lifestyle choice is wrong. I just don't think they are swingers.

Would you want to stop them? I don't think you could if you tried.
Not that I would want to either but I have to admit it gets irritating sometimes.
I don't like being lumped in with some of the lifestyles that post here but there really isn't anything that can be done about it.
It's just a label anyway that means nothing except to the vanilla world.
I guess it depends on how you would like to be perceived to the vanilla world.

No lifestyle choice is better than another (except when it involves kids and animals) but they are not all swingers.
IMO of course.

[sunrise_sunset]

just remember there are hundreds of thousands of swinging couples who just go to a party every once and a while and spend little or know time on the pay swinger sites or information sites like Swingersboard. It is virtually impossible to tell what trends are in the lifestyle from just reading posts on the internet.

[des1re06]

Yes we do, very often in fact, we just don't like broadcasting it.

On the flip side, maybe there's so much good information here already, that there's not as many "help" requests.

Maybe a section titled "tell us about your weekend" would spur some positive comments about great encounters, if that's what you'd like to see more of.


Mr. & Mrs. D

[VegasLee]

Maybe the old days are returning?

40 years ago, in the 60's Swinging was defined as "Recreational sex between consenting adults." There was no mention of married couples or couples for that matter.

30 years ago Dr. Robert McGinley came along and started "Lifestyles" and wanted a new term and to define things different. He started "play couples" and defined it as a couples thing.

Since the Internet has come around Swinging has exploded in the United States. Now people can find a party in a few seconds rather then having to know someone or go find one of those "adult papers" with party lists in them.

At clubs and at convention over half the people are not Swingers by any definition, they do not party with anyone other than their spouse in a sexual manner yet many refer to their self as being in the Lifestyle or swingers because they go to the parties.

All these definitions really do not mean anything anymore.

The oldest and the busiest clubs in the United States allow singles, both men and women. The parties at the conventions that have the most people playing at them each year are the ones where a few "singles" have managed to become part of the party.

Swinging anymore is only what you want it to be and what you make of it. If going to clubs and dancing dirty with other women is your thing, go for it. If partying with single guys is your thing, that is alright also. If you just want to hook up with other couples then do it.

Even though the "Lifestyle" has got much bigger in numbers there is not as many "Swingers" percentage wise as their used to be at the parties and conventions.

Hanging out in Swingers forums for years does not make you a Swinger anymore then me playing video games makes me a airline pilot.

[graygo98]

Originally Posted by VegasLee

Swinging anymore is only what you want it to be and what you make of it. If going to clubs and dancing dirty with other women is your thing, go for it. If partying with single guys is your thing, that is alright also. If you just want to hook up with other couples then do it.

Really well put. The great thing about this take is that it gives people freedom to do their thing... once they figure out what it is. The downside is that when you meet new people you sometimes have to be Philidelphia lawyers to get the rules of engagement straight. Assuming people are into the same things you are just cause you met them at a club or they say they are "swingers" can lead to some pretty wild misunderstandings.

But, horses are still out of bounds.

[rpu3]

Originally Posted by Chicup

I myself had been having the same thoughts as it seems we don't get nearly as many swingers posts or swingers questions as we used to. It seems to be fringe elements, cuckolds, and threesomes for the most part.

Now maybe I'm just perceiving things this way and its not really the case, but I have to wonder. Has swinging 'slowed down' from the seeming rush of new swingers over the last five years, has the board slowed down, or am I just old and jaded and things are still pretty much the same?

As to the swingers questions thought - I personally don't feel the need to ask "swinger" questions because the questions have almost all been asked before, and good advice already exists. I've only been registered for a bit over a year, and I already just bypass questions that have already been asked and answered many times over. Often, I find the older or archived messages have better content than the current answers provided.

The board does seem slower - but a lot of the boards I read on a variety of subjects are slower. I had been attributing the slowness to summer - people have things to do and would rather be out and about instead of at a computer.

Your post and an answer or two reminds me yet again while I'm don't usually refer to myself a swinger - one reason is because many don't consider us swingers unless we play only with other couples. We are reminded on a semi-regular basis that for many, including those on this board, the term "swinger" is narrowly defined. We have played with couples, but we also have had enjoyable threesomes and solo play and engage in friends w/benefits arrangements. Somehow we don't fit the narrow definition of swingers that seems to be imposed at times. Hence, I tend to call myself "consensual nonmongamist", which gets to be a mouthful at times.

Originally Posted by vegaslee

Hanging out in Swingers forums for years does not make you a Swinger anymore then me playing video games makes me a airline pilot.

I'm back to "what makes one a swinger?" And I'm not trying to be an argumentative ass by asking this - I ask myself on a regular basis why I am here since we only do "swapping" as one part of our recreational sex life. I'd go to a consensual nonmonogomist board, but I haven't found one yet.

All I truly know is that we are a married couple that does engage in sex with non-spousal units. Some of those people are single, some are couples. Sometimes we play as a foursome or a threesome, and sometimes solo (no, I'm not talking about masterbation - but I guess we do that too on occasion). I thought we had a place as swingers (even if its only one aspect of our alternative sex life), and thus a place or a voice on SwingersBoard, but at times I do wonder if that's really true?

Not that I'm inclined to stop posting... it's now a regular stop on my internet routine.

[SouthBond]

Your question was, is swinging slowing down from the rush from about five years ago. This seems to be in regards to some of the members that no longer post messages on this forum. You are right. There a some very interesting members that no longer participate. In fact, you seldom hear from "Ask Julia" anymore. In regards to swinging slowing down, it goes through phases and changes with societies whims. We doubt that the actual interest in finding new people for sex has slowed. There is a possibility that more people have stopped sitting at their computers for a sexual thrill and going out and doing it. Of course, many may have found the pursuit of new sex partners more trouble than it is worth and given up.

[Greg & Sheryl]

We suspect there is a bit of a "been there, answered that" phenomenon going on among veteran Swingers Board members like ourselves. After having been here for more than five years, it seems like there's nothing left to discuss. Perhaps the "fringe" topics are becoming more prominent because all the mainstream swinging topics have already been covered.

Furthermore, it seems like the cuckold lifestyle is getting more popular than ever. While some may disagree as to whether they are true swingers, most cuckolding couples consider themselves to be, which is why they may be drawn to this forum even though there are other, less prominent forums which specialize in that lifestyle.

[The Fuse]

We're a couple. We have sex with other couples. It seems to me as if the trend is accelerating, not the other way around. When I say "the trend" I mean couples deciding they want to include other couples in their sex lives. My perception might be what it is because of where we live. Who knows.

[Alura]

Although we have (a few times) agreed to make an exception, our experiences have been with married couples. That's still our overwhelming preference and will (very likely) continue to be. We're "wife swappers" and make no apologies for it.

But, yeah, I miss "the old days" when the majority on this board were couple-oriented.

Mr. Alura

[ShellyM]

We very much prefer couples. We are dedicated to the fact that 3somes are to be a rare treat vs. the norm. However, it is VERY VERY hard to hook up with couples. Very hard. You have to get 4 people who are attracted. Then you get past the issues. Finding another couple where you are all attracted, there are no issues, everyone is a good lay is really tough. We have one couple that we know like that, and it took us a year of swinging to find them. However, we do enjoy the occasional 3some. We are doing an MFM next month with a yummy single man I know and we will be setting up a FMF soon.
Shelly