Feeling like we were born in the wrong era

[Hopeless_Magic]

My husband and I have been swinging for a few years now. We've found it's very difficult to find people our age. My husband is 24 and I'm 26. We're young and we started swinging even younger. Everywhere we look, the people who are swinging are our parents age!! Nothing says "that's a turn-off" like realizing your doing the nasty to someone as old as your father. I'm sure it goes both ways when they realize we're as young as their own children. :surrender

Is there any hope of finding people our age in our area? Sure, I've seen people online, but finding someone young, that fits your needs, you fit theirs AND they live near you is damn near impossible. I really feel like we're so odd and out of place.

I'm more scared that if we do have to settle with people who are 5 and 10 years older, that they'll be bored with us. We haven't reached our peaks yet (so I'm told!) and I find those with so much more experience very intimidating.

Can anyone give me some advice? Am I too young for this? What can I expect from older couples?

[curiousagain]

I'm gonna take a stab at this cause I have a friend who is a 22 y/o male who is a swinger. In that age range, it seems to be group dates and an extended network of friends more than the internet that brings them together. The guys in that age range seem way more comfortable with more girls than guys and the girls seem ok with that as most are testing their bisexuality at the same time.

Just my thoughts, your milage may vary.

[NakedInSeattle]

"...settle for with people who are 5 and 10 years older..."???? That's 29 - 34, for crap sake. I wonder why you even question that. I dare you to walk down the street and try to tell the difference between 25 and 30 year old people. I think you're being foolish to think that people 10 years older than you are not hot, sexy, and fun to play with or to have as friends.

There are plenty of 20's and 30's in our area to choose from.

[iapr]

Originally Posted by Hopeless_Magic

My husband and I have been swinging for a few years now. We've found it's very difficult to find people our age. My husband is 24 and I'm 26. We're young and we started swinging even younger. Everywhere we look, the people who are swinging are our parents age!! Nothing says "that's a turn-off" like realizing your doing the nasty to someone as old as your father. I'm sure it goes both ways when they realize we're as young as their own children. :surrender

Is there any hope of finding people our age in our area? Sure, I've seen people online, but finding someone young, that fits your needs, you fit theirs AND they live near you is damn near impossible. I really feel like we're so odd and out of place.

I'm more scared that if we do have to settle with people who are 5 and 10 years older, that they'll be bored with us. We haven't reached our peaks yet (so I'm told!) and I find those with so much more experience very intimidating.

Can anyone give me some advice? Am I too young for this? What can I expect from older couples?

Being that I am one of those people that is biologically old enough to be your parent I can say that one of the things that keep us old people from contacting or expecting much out of people your age is comments like "nothing says 'that's a turn off' like realizing you're doing the nasty with someone old enough to be your father," and also "I'm more scared that if we do have to SETTLE for someone 5 and 10 years older...."

Now I realize you did not mean that to be insulting and it is understandable that people in their early-mid 20s would think that way and therefor old farts like us often just don't take them seriously.

The real trouble you are going to run into is that many people your age are at a stage in their life where they are seeking monogamy with that special someone if not actually seeking a pairbond leading to traditional marriage and family etc etc. While there are still testoserone filled guys your age running around willing to hop into bed with anyone, anywhere and anytime, the females of your age range are past a lot of their college days experimentation and are seeking stable, monogamous long term relationships and swinging really isn't on their radar screen at that point in their lives.

On the bright side though is there are still a lot of open minded people out there that would be open to hooking up with a couple and all you have to do is look. What you are describing as far as the difficulty of finding someone that fits your needs as well as theirs within a reasonable distance from you is still one of the main issues people face in the more traditional swinging age of 30s to 50s.

I can't answer what to expect from all couples but my own thoughts are I would not take a couple in their early to mid 20s seriously as prospect for swinging due to exactly the comments you have made here in your post. As a forty year old bald guy I would just see that as a waste of bandwidth and keystrokes. Now I know that people are going to jump up and down saying how wrong I am but lets be honest here. I am sure there are exceptions to that as there are with every concept but unless I meet someone in person and they do seem mature and genuinely interested (and this has happened) I don't consider them a serious possibility.

[bill&sabrina]

When aiming at a small target, the hits are going to be small. You are going to have to continue working really hard finding matches, or broaden you horizons. Wish I had better news.

[lovinher]

Some good points but let's give them a break here. Just a little one. I don't believe anything was said in malice. Let's hope it was just a poor choice of words. It did bite though didn't it? It's an honest question and concern and we all have preferences. But 5 years? That is a bit ridiculous isn't it? At 24 I thought 30 was old but I liked 30-40 yr old women. At 30 I thought 40 was old but liked 40 yr old women. Thinking back, the older I got, the less age mattered as far as attraction goes. But at their age I wouldn't have wanted to do one of Mother's friends.

[VegasLee]

The avg. age in the Lifestyle at this time nation wide is about 43 years old.

There are reasons for it being older. We started younger as you are now and we have aged.

As mentioned above many your age are looking for something other then swinging at this time in their life. Different era.

At some clubs we go to they have a min. age of 25. They have found over the years that there is to much Jealousy and games being played and the clubs don't want to deal with it.

There is some people your age in the Lifestyle. Not near as many as us older swingers though.

You can restrict yourself to people your own age or to Swingers in general and have a larger group to pick from. That is all up to you and what your comfortable with.

This is coming from someone that has kids older then you and has been in the Lifestyle longer then you have been alive.

Do what works for you but be careful about what you think of the ones in the lifestyle that have the aged experience.

[LOL_OMG]

I really don't think you meant to alienate people on the board...just a poor choice of words (previously mentioned).

We have actually turned people down your age because we have a rule that we don't play with 1) at or younger than our kid's age or 2) at or older than our parent's age.

I would guess the reason you don't see alot of people your own age is because they are busy discovering their own sexuality in the world they were taught to. In addition, it takes a bit of trust and bonding to make it all work. Generally speaking, that takes some personal work and you might be
"gifted and talented".

Mrs

[Tybee Swing]

Originally Posted by bill&sabrina

When aiming at a small target, the hits are going to be small. You are going to have to continue working really hard finding matches, or broaden your horizons.

Dito If a mere 5-year age difference is an issue for this couple, among other preferences and issues (I'm sure they have many), they will have a very small target.

[Cpl2share]

The biggest reason (in our opinion) that you are not finding swingers in the mid 20's is because most people who are serious about thier marriage are still trying to build the strong ties required between a husband and wife if they are going to swing. This is not to say that your marriage is not strong. It is a simple statement of fact. Most people in their mid 20's have only been married a couple of years. They have not yet built the strong marital bond required for a healthy relationship to survive swinging. There is a tendancy to ignore younger people because of this as well as the fact that younger people (mainly men) have a tendancy to "need" to brag about who and what they have done. Fair, no, true, yes.


Just what we have observed.

[rpu3]

Originally Posted by Hopeless_Magic

I'm more scared that if we do have to settle with people who are 5 and 10 years older, that they'll be bored with us.

I'd have to say, as a 38 year old, it wouldn't be a matter of being bored with you, it would be a matter that I am/he is/we are not going to have sex with anyone who are merely having to settle for sex with any version of "us". Having that settling occur because of our ages (38/49) would just be that more irritating.

My spouse and I have had a threesome with a 28 year old guy, and that was fun. It would happen again with him if/when I'm interested. It wasn't boring and never at any time did my spouse or I feel like he was settling for sex with us. Don't think it was intimidating to him. We have also played with couples and single men of varying ages, and some of those experiences were fun. Sex is sex; if it all works out, great!

We are attracted to varying looks and personalities, and whether or not it all clicks is what drives the rest of the story. It isn't like we ask people when they walk in the door of a club or meet and greet what their age is so that we can immediately remove them from the "want-to-do" list.

Perhaps a little less focus on the biological age, and more on the totality of the couple/person might open up more opportunities for you. Just my half-cent.

[havefuninsun]

I can understand your desire not to swing with people your parents age ... that would be weird. But 5-10 year gap is nothing. Hell ... one of my playmates is 14 years younger than me!!

Remember -- it's about variety. And Fun. The lots of years older folks may not become good friends of yours, but then again they might (depending on what you're looking for in these relationships). But being with folks who've had more years of play under their belts (pun intended) may be some of the most fun you'll ever have in your life.

[Malachista]

I know of some events just for younger people. (If added the age of the couple can not be older then 70, making an average at 35 years). Those parties usually attract up to 70 people. (They could do more, if the two clubs doing them would not always host them on the same day)

There are a lot of young swingers / young people who want to swing, that have a difficult time thinking about sex with someone who could be there parents.
Perhaps you could try to get to know the hosts of an on-premise club, and start talk to them about becoming co-hosts for such a youngster party.

[ncmd_couple]

Magic,

Yeah, I can understand your situation. No, I would not want to swing with someone my daughter's age. But I have some good news for you if you are still around. Go to Tabu. It is listed here as a club. The croud is more in line with your age group and you will have a good time.

S

[JustAskJulie]

There's a big difference between 5 and 10 years older and old enough to be your parents. I can see where the latter can be a turn-off at times, but the former... it's only 5 or 10 years. That is close enough that you should still be able to find a decent amount of common ground.

I started swinging at 20, at the time that was even more uncommon than it is now (and it's getting pretty common from what I see around us). Yes, there were times when an age difference was enough to turn me off but rarely was it the age alone. Usually it wa sthe physical/personality characteristics of the person that actually reminded me of a parent.

I will admit that now that I am in my early 30's I do look at young couples in their early 20's and see a pretty large gap most of the time. But I look at the overall person/couple not just their age. If I read a profile and they sound immature then I figure they probably are and move on. If I talk to them either online or in a club and they can hold their own and seem to have solid heads on their shoulders then I don't even question their age. It goes the other way as well. On one hand 60 sounds old to me... but on the other I've met some very hot couples that are in their 60s who I wouldn't hesitate playing with. Not only are they still physically HOT they can hold decent conversations and have enough life experience to understand why we are all here and that there is more to life than just a perfect body or a nice set of tits.