condom use

[sexcupid]

Just a quick question.

How prevalent is condom use in your area? And do the clubs that you go to provide them, or do you have to bring your own? (This is a moot point as we always bring some with us, just wondering)

I mean, it's posted in our profile that they are a must. So why does it seem to take so many people by suprise when we have them available to use?

I mean, we've met up with a few couples now and every time a condom has been put on, erections are lost. One made the comment 'that's the best i've done with a condom in a long time'. Things are going along quite well up to that point. And if we take them off and switch back to oral or manual stimulation, things are back up and running again.

Maybe it's just the area were in?

Anyway, TIA for any feedback.

Maria

[r_poseidon]

I'm actually the same way. I just can NOT function with a condom on. I have only been able to work I think twice. So... it happens. :-(

[WesternSwing]

I would say that condom use in our swinger community is the rule, not the exception. There are those that play with or without, but for the most part wearing a condom is a must for anything more then oral sex.

And we do have in our profile that we insist on safe sex.

Mr. WS

[Mr. Truelove]

I'm not experienced enough to say what others use, but we use condoms. I'll agree they aren't quite as nice as using nothing, but we feel much more secure with things such as pregnancy, stds, and so forth that we continue to use them. A board member here had a brand that wasn't too bad, I'll try to find the name of it.

Now that being said I know there are people that say the STD reduction isn't all that it is hyped up to be. The media seems to promote condoms as a safe sex method when in actuality, it just means safer sex. It's simply a reduction of risk.

Queue post by Goodtimes.

Mr. Truelove

Edit: in fact, I'll save Goodtimes some searching/typing. Here is a link that touched on the STD reduction issue: Click here!

[tribbles]

The exception, not the rule here, is what we see.

Depends on the party too tho. Some the host/party rules require them. Others don't and then we see less of them.

Some clubs provide them, others don't. It varies.

S

[LikeMinds321]

Based on all the cock in pussy pictures many people post on the ad site we use, many swingers don't use condoms.

We state in our profile that we do play with condoms. We've not had any problems with people objecting to us pulling out condoms when the time comes to use them, but we have seen where condoms do pose a challenge for some men who have difficulty staying erect once putting one on.

LM

[spectraschain]

These folks have it all:
http://www.undercovercondoms.com/

[spectraschain]

I always use condoms....even with Spectra, though I'm vasectomy safe.

If you wear one every time, your little soldier will think, "condom, time to go to work", as opposed to "what the hell is this?"

[N&G]

We seldom use condoms and none of our friends use them either. Maybe it's a regional thing or just that we are older and have more problems using them. We know a few people who live on the west coast who require them and say that everyone uses condoms. Maybe New Jersey is more "disease friendly" than other states. Being in the lifestyle involves some degree of risk and we are willing to accept that. Condoms may lower the risk somewhat but don't eliminate it.

[spectraschain]

Maybe it's a regional thing

For sure, its a regional thing...the pubic region.

We have friends in New England, no, it's not a regional thing...

How old are you that this kind of thing no longer matters?

[Thrax]

Good question.

In my experience as a single male in the lifestyle (seven years as of this month) I would say that in my play with single women and women in couples (no MM play) in Western PA and Eastern Ohio about 60% have insisted on condoms. The rest don't seem too concerned, which raises a red flag with me.

I'm squeamish about STDs (although I know that condoms don't prevent the transmission of many of them), so I insist on condoms 100% of the time with women I've never had intercourse with, vanilla or lifestyle. Depending on how I feel about the couple or the individual, I have relaxed that rule for a few women, over time, but not for many either in swinging or vanilla relationships.

So, it's rare that I go in bare, but it does happen occasionally. A risk? Definitely! But one that is calculated.

However, there seems to be a large group of couples/singles in this area (OH/PA), in ALL socio-economic groups, that feels comfortable going condomless. Make of that what you will. I guess it might coincide with the reported rise in the number of gay men in the US who forgo condoms and other AIDS prevention since the AIDS plague has experienced a downturn.

Finally, as far as I know, the Western PA club I go to a couple of times a year does NOT provide condoms, so I always bring some of my own. ALL of the couples I've met bring some, too, by the way. And every house party I've attended in Pennsylvania and Ohio has ALWAYS had many varieties of both latex and poly condoms (in various sizes) available for guests.

As far as I'm concerned, if a guy hopes to be active in the lifestyle (or even in the vanilla scene) he should be carrying some basic protection and plan to use it.

Thrax

[spectraschain]

Maybe New Jersey is more "disease friendly" than other states.

Okay. I've been to New Jersey, and I think I see your point. The sooner the better, so-to-speak....

[LFM2]

It's pretty much a rule in our area. We insist on condoms, even though Mr. LFM is V safe, we still have STD worries. There are problems with erections after the condom goes on, but it's been fixable. Just one of the things that goes along with our lifestyle, I guess.

[sexcupid]

Thanks for all the replies!

It's not that our playmates look at the condom like, 'oh what is this?'...more along the lines of, 'you really want to use that?'

I know it's no guarantee of STD-free-ness...and am aware that is only reduces the risks inherent with having sex (stds, pregnancy, ect.). It seems like so many people on this board and even on Swing Lifestyle are insistent that condoms/protection be used...but the reality we are experiencing is vastly different and just wanted to get some feedback.

Thanks again,

Maria

[Chicup]

People surprised by or not wanting to use condoms has never been an issue for us.

I was thinking perhaps it was your age but you are younger than us so there goes that theory