Professionals that are also in the lifestyle

[Mike and Jan]

OK, this may have come up before but I really don't remember it. Wouldn't you feel more comfortable with your doctor if you knew they were also swingers? Wouldn't it be easier to discuss issues that concern you about your health and ask for professional advice? Also, I think that there would be times that you'd like legal advice from an attorney. Or I'm sure that a marriage counselor who understands the lifestyle could be invaluable. Hey, even spiritual advice from a "lifestyle" member of the clergy could be important to some people.
We know that all these professions are represented in the lifestyle but due to many very obvious reasons keep it secret. Maybe they could be talked into having boards here. Or better still..., advertise. There would have to be some way to protect their identity until they are comfortable enough to accept you as a client. Not much different from feeling comfortable enough to reveal their identity to another couple they want to swing with is it?

[JustAskJulie]

When it comes to something like marriage counseling, I would love to be able to find one that is in the lifestyle or at least open to it. Trying to talk to a marriage counselor and having to keep that part of your marriage a secret isn't easy. Same thing when it comes to discussing sexuality with your doctor. For my female stuff I always go to Planned Parenthood (cuz it's cheaper and due to a shortage of female GYN in this area it's the only way to get an appointment without making it 6 months in advance), but one of the things that bugs me is the question on their little form about how many sex partners you've had in the last year. Then if you are married and you put more than 1, well something obviously isn't normal and they may or may not look at you a little funny. And if the number is a bit high (more than say 4 in the last year) they will definately ask you questions about your sexuality, etc. One time I did outright tell them that we swing.

But yes it would be nice if we could find people in the community to help with various things like that, that would understand where we are coming from as well. I believe that the homosexual community has networks like that, it would be great if we could find a way to do so as well.

[dave_susie2001]

I know there was a thread awhile back where someone stated that they wished that there was some kind of directory of professionals who were swingers or at least hip to the lifestyle. It would be nice to be able to talk to your tax accountant about why you want to deduct condoms as an entertainment expense....

But seriously....my question is this: Is there anyone on the Swingers Board in the Mid-Michigan area (Lansing) that is in real estate? We're looking to relocate to Lansing in the spring and want to buy a home with partying in mind! We'd love to talk to you!

[OhioCouple]

dave_susie,

I know this site isn't going to help you much, but I just ran across it this morning. It is a site that is well underway listing Alternative Lifestyle Professionals.

It is called Kink Aware Professionals. (KAP)

http://www.bannon.com/kap/mainlist.htm

They don't have anything listed for Real Estate Professionals yet and they don't include many states. Who knows though, it may catch on and become a valid directory of Lifestyle friendly professionals.

Lori

[JustAskJulie]

On the same note as Dave & Susie, if there is anyone who reads this board that is a real estate agent in North Alabama please contact me.

[Flori_DAMAN]

Originally posted by JustAskJulie
On the same note as Dave & Susie, if there is anyone who reads this board that is a real estate agent in North Alabama please contact me.

I notice that you are placing a post looking for an expert involved in investment into real estate.

Would this be the proper place to post for me?

I am also looking for an investment agent. Just not in realty. Is this just for real estate? Or may I post inquiries looking for other invesment experts?

My interest is in a venture capitalist. Similar to a real estate agent but having to do with businesses (specifically medical). The reason why I ask is because I was admonished for posting one once..even though I deleted it because I wasn't sure that I posted it in the right forum.

John

[Flori_DAMAN]

Originally posted by dave_susie2001
I know there was a thread awhile back where someone stated that they wished that there was some kind of directory of professionals who were swingers or at least hip to the lifestyle. It would be nice to be able to talk to your tax accountant about why you want to deduct condoms as an entertainment expense....

But seriously....my question is this: Is there anyone on the Swingers Board in the Mid-Michigan area (Lansing) that is in real estate? We're looking to relocate to Lansing in the spring and want to buy a home with partying in mind! We'd love to talk to you!

I know of a 4 bedroom home with a full basement with easy access to 127 and south street...but it is in Jackson.

This place is undervalued because it is so near the highway. The guy that built it is an engineer. It is built like a fortress. The basement is basically unfinished and the total square footage is in the 3000 range...its under 150k.....if you are interested I can furnish you with the agents name....John

[OhioCouple]

Originally posted by Flori_DAMAN
I notice that you are placing a post looking for an expert involved in investment into real estate.

I am somewhat confused by your posting. I read it as both Dave & Susie and Julie are looking to either rent or purchase a home in their respective areas. I don't see it as looking for an investor, more so someone to help them find a home with the space and privacy for swinging in mind.

Goodness knows you can't talk about those specifics with your average realator (sp).

Lori

[Flori_DAMAN]

im really not sure of what you mean Lori....

There are myraids of investments out there....swinging places are one....home for family is certainly one...a swinging establishment would be more along the line of a business..a home a personal investment...like a business...what is your point?

[Flori_DAMAN]

oh and I just downloaded aim...my name is floridaman32960 for anyone that is interested

[OhioCouple]

Originally posted by Flori_DAMAN
....a swinging establishment would be more along the line of a business..a home a personal investment...like a business...what is your point?

I am not really sure what my point is.

But now I have another question. (Imagine that ) Since we are building our upstairs with swinging in mind for our personal friends, and doing so for their comfort as well as when family members visit, does that change our home from being a residential home to a business establishment when no money changes hands with those that you choose to entertain?

We are taxed nearly $4000.00 a year here now for a private residental home, a business per se would skyrocket it, if indeed that would be the case.

Lori

[Flori_DAMAN]

No it does not change your property taxes.

On the other hand if you advertise it (even free), then you could violate local ordinances concerning sexual entertainment.

You can do anything on your property you wish. But when you charge that changes the whole picture. Even if you didn't charge but advertised and someone left there with a grievance of any type you could be liable.

For instance. You advertise free party for swingers. Someone comes and gets raped. Now you are in a whole load of shit.

Anytime you are considering anything that resembles a group of people coming for entertainment purposes you are liable for things you never imagined.

You already know that if someone leaves inebriated and you served them alcohol or didnt take the keys you could lose your house.

I would never do that in my home Lori...there are too many things that you cant even imagine.

Now to just invite a few friends over thats different......dont mean to be chicken little but...when you open you house to people and they tell other people that is advertising....just a thought....John

[JustAskJulie]

Good point John on not allowing people you don't know in. I wouldn't never do that, for that very reason. You never know who may show up.

I was talking to some folks down here who had a NYE party at their home for swingers. After the party they discovered that some pain meds that their son had for a broken tooth had been taken. And the next day the son discovered a used needle in their bathroom. Needless to say, you can bet they will never allow people in their home that they don't know again.

[OhioCouple]

Originally posted by Flori_DAMAN

Anytime you are considering anything that resembles a group of people coming for entertainment purposes you are liable for things you never imagined.

No, No, No, We would never consider having anyone in our home that we didn't feel we knew very well! Your points are well taken for those that do have house parties, but we wouldn't do that. With the exception of the one house party we attended and one specific couples home, we never go to anyones home or bring them to ours. If we want to take intimacy to another level, it is always a motel/hotel where we each have our own rooms.

We are only at the stage of considering one specific couple to invite to our home. We have been to theirs on several occasions and we feel we know them rather well now. We would have no problem if they came over and ended up staying over for whatever reason.

Having people in my home that I don't know scares the bejeebers out of me!

Especially after reading Julie's horror story on the couple from NYE, I don't see how anyone could open their home up to people they do not know.

Lori

[dave_susie2001]

The point of this thread was to resurrect the "Professionals in swinging" thread of months gone by. As well as to do a little advertising for a lifestyle realitor! Saying things to your real estate agent like "we'd love to have a secluded walk out basement where we can put the hot tub, have campfires, and just run around naked with a few of our friends," can get a little embarrasing for the agent if they turn out to be a prude.

Thanks John for the info about the house in Jackson, however we're looking to be a little closer to Lansing.

As far as allowing people in our home...there's lots of conflicting opinions. While I agree that we wouldn't host house parties with people we don't know, we would be perfectly comfortable in having folks that we do know come over and stay over. It's a matter of trust really. We've had lifestyle friends stay overnight before, and we've had offers to stay with other lifestyle friends, and have on occasion.

We always meet a new couple in a public place (resturaunt, bar, etc.) just because you don't know the type of people they really are until you get to know them. Sometimes that can take several meetings. But sometimes everything just feels right and you all click right away and you end up standing in the parking lot of the resturaunt talking long after it closes...pulling down each other's shirts while the headlights of someone's new truck are shining on you........hey...it could happen!