Playing on First Meets

milflover · 02-24-2007, 10:24 AM

Just wanted to hear people's thoughts about playing on first meets with people.

I have a policy not to play with anyone the first time I meet them because that way there is no pressure on anyone.

Spoomonkey · 02-24-2007, 10:45 AM

Since most of our play occurs at the club, "first meet" play happens. Typically - when we meet folks off of the internet we don't want to play on first meet and things are sort of arranged so that won't happen. But if the chemistry is right...

Spoomonkey

**TNT** · 02-24-2007, 11:56 AM

We never expect or plan on playing on the first meet but, we do go prepared just in case things really click and everyone wants to (which has happened quite often ).

Teresa

Tybee Swing · 02-24-2007, 12:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by milflover

Just wanted to hear people's thoughts about playing on first meets with people.

I have a policy not to play with anyone the first time I meet them because that way there is no pressure on anyone.

We don't have a policy like that, because every situation is unique. We don't "expect" to play on a first meet (or any meet for that matter). If it's right, when it's right, it will happen. Sometimes, it's right at the first meet.

gatorvol64 · 02-24-2007, 01:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TNT

We never expect or plan on playing on the first meet but, we do go prepared just in case things really click and everyone wants to(which has happened quite often ).

That's how we do it. Never expect it but stay prepared for it. Gator's work schedule makes free time a premium. So....if it's right, we will.

Vol

N&G · 02-24-2007, 02:12 PM

We don't have a problem playing on the first date if everyone agrees. In a house party or club situation we get together with people that we've never seen before so why should an internet meet be any different? We don't really have any rules in general so we usually go along with whatever the other couple is comfortable with. If one of us isn't comfortable with something we just say it.

Spoomonkey · 02-24-2007, 02:22 PM

My advice - that is a fine rule and quite interesting that a single male would have that. Too many guys out there are opportunists who will take whatever they can get. Having that rule says a lot about you in a good way.

But...

Always carry condoms

Spoomonkey

iapr · 02-24-2007, 02:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tybee Swing

We don't have a policy like that, because every situation is unique. We don't "expect" to play on a first meet (or any meet for that matter). If it's right, when it's right, it will happen. Sometimes, it's right at the first meet.

This is exactly how we see it as well. There have been too many times when the stars were lining up and we let the moment pass because we were too timid to make things happen and then the opportunity passed. If you have a policy of not playing on the first meet that is fine and if it works for you great.

We make no bones about the fact that we are in the lifestyle to have erotic encounters and if there is attraction, chemistry and comfort for everyone involved and if everyone is up for then we see no reason whatsoever to put things off. It is hard enough to find the time to get away and hard enough to find people where everyone clicks that to just make an arbitrary decision not to play on the first date seems awfull selflimiting.

We respect people's preferences and if they say they won't play on the first date regardless then that is fine, we won't play that night. However in our experience (which is not that vast) it has been that the risk of missing out on a good opportunity is MUCH higher than the risk of being pressured into anything you do not want to do so we keep an open mind and do not have anything against play on the first meet or of one nighters.

**good times** · 02-24-2007, 03:36 PM

Like most of the others we don't go to a first meet expecting to play, but we aren't against the idea either. More often than not we end up playing on the first meet or not at all though. Usually if the chemistry isn't there to play on the first meet it never will be. The times when we met someone and didn't play on the first meet but did at a later time are usually times when the logistics of playing on the first meet just don't work out, that is one of the reasons we like to meet for the first time at a swingers club.

prettylady · 02-24-2007, 04:47 PM

I personally don't hold to tight to rules in general.
A rebel at heart and all. :rollseyes
There is only one hard and fast rule I stick to and that is mostly because I don't care for excessive pain.
But as for first dates. I like, "expect nothing, but prepare for everything".
As the others have stated, why let a good thing pass.
Your friend,
Prettylady

**BiloxiCouple** · 02-24-2007, 05:25 PM

As hard it is to play sometimes, the only time you may have is on a first meet. Scheduling sucks.

We only play if everyone is comfortable. First, last or in-between meets, doesn't matter.

Quote:

Originally Posted by milflover

I have a policy not to play with anyone the first time I meet them because that way there is no pressure on anyone.

Isn't this pressure?

Rules are guidelines. Make them flexible.

Besides, sometimes there is nothing hotter than a great first date facelick

**LFM2** · 02-25-2007, 11:33 PM

Oh man -- That USED to be one of our rules. Rule #254 -- No playing on a first date. We decided that rule was inane the first time we ever played with another couple.

We don't presume that everyone will want to play on a first date, but we do go prepared if things just happen to fall into place.

mandb4u · 02-25-2007, 11:43 PM

we play on the first meeting if everyone agrees.

Greg & Sheryl · 02-26-2007, 04:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Spoomonkey

Since most of our play occurs at the club, "first meet" play happens. Typically - when we meet folks off of the internet we don't want to play on first meet and things are sort of arranged so that won't happen. But if the chemistry is right...

This is precisely the pattern that we follow. When meeting people off of the interent, you never know how they are going to come across in person, so it's best to avoid a situation in which there might be pressure to play if the chemistry isn't there. However, at a club (or a house/hotel party), you can determine their "fuckability" right away, so if we like our new friends, we're doing them that same night.

Chicup · 02-26-2007, 05:20 PM

Profile says: We don't play on first meet.
Translation: We are unsure of ourselves in swinging or may just want a good excuse in case we don't find you attractive.

Thats pretty much it.

If you are sure in both what you and your partner want, there really isn't a reason to go home, decide if you want to touch their naughty bits and set another get together to do so. Communication is key, but once you reach that 'special' level of communication that swingers seem to have, you normally don't have to talk about it. A nod or other non-verbal 'yes/no' is all you need.

It is a good safety valve though.

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02-24-2007, 10:24 AM	#1 (permalink)
milflover Registered User Join Date: Feb 2007 Posts: 2 Location: CA Status: Single Male	Playing on First Meets Just wanted to hear people's thoughts about playing on first meets with people. I have a policy not to play with anyone the first time I meet them because that way there is no pressure on anyone.

02-24-2007, 10:45 AM	#2 (permalink)
Spoomonkey Chimpin' Ain't Easy Join Date: Jan 2004 Posts: 6,739 Location: Ohio Status: Married Monkeys - will you be our vine? Swing Lifestyle Name:Spoomonkey	Re: Playing on First Meets Since most of our play occurs at the club, "first meet" play happens. Typically - when we meet folks off of the internet we don't want to play on first meet and things are sort of arranged so that won't happen. But if the chemistry is right... Spoomonkey
	__________________ "Eros will have naked bodies; Friendship naked personalities." - C. S. Lewis

02-24-2007, 11:56 AM	#3 (permalink)
TNT Julie's Helper Join Date: Jul 2001 Posts: 5,003 Location: baker, fl, usa Status: couple Swing Lifestyle Name:tblonde312	Re: Playing on First Meets We never expect or plan on playing on the first meet but, we do go prepared just in case things really click and everyone wants to (which has happened quite often ). Teresa
	__________________ Ted and Teresa No lifetime is enough unless you live it in such a way as to make it enough.

02-24-2007, 02:12 PM	#6 (permalink)
N&G Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Jul 2003 Posts: 151 Location: Northern New Jersey Status: Couple	Re: Playing on First Meets We don't have a problem playing on the first date if everyone agrees. In a house party or club situation we get together with people that we've never seen before so why should an internet meet be any different? We don't really have any rules in general so we usually go along with whatever the other couple is comfortable with. If one of us isn't comfortable with something we just say it.

02-24-2007, 02:22 PM	#7 (permalink)
Spoomonkey Chimpin' Ain't Easy Join Date: Jan 2004 Posts: 6,739 Location: Ohio Status: Married Monkeys - will you be our vine? Swing Lifestyle Name:Spoomonkey	Re: Playing on First Meets My advice - that is a fine rule and quite interesting that a single male would have that. Too many guys out there are opportunists who will take whatever they can get. Having that rule says a lot about you in a good way. But... Always carry condoms Spoomonkey
	__________________ "Eros will have naked bodies; Friendship naked personalities." - C. S. Lewis

02-24-2007, 03:36 PM	#9 (permalink)
good times Mod Squad Member Join Date: Jul 2002 Posts: 6,919 Location: Reno, Nevada Status: Married to Mrs Good Times Swing Lifestyle Name:randp	Re: Playing on First Meets Like most of the others we don't go to a first meet expecting to play, but we aren't against the idea either. More often than not we end up playing on the first meet or not at all though. Usually if the chemistry isn't there to play on the first meet it never will be. The times when we met someone and didn't play on the first meet but did at a later time are usually times when the logistics of playing on the first meet just don't work out, that is one of the reasons we like to meet for the first time at a swingers club.
	__________________ R (He is R, she is P)

02-24-2007, 04:47 PM	#10 (permalink)
prettylady anything boys can do.... Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 1,750 Location: Utopia Status: Trouble maker Swing Lifestyle Name:playtoys69	Re: Playing on First Meets I personally don't hold to tight to rules in general. A rebel at heart and all. :rollseyes There is only one hard and fast rule I stick to and that is mostly because I don't care for excessive pain. But as for first dates. I like, "expect nothing, but prepare for everything". As the others have stated, why let a good thing pass. Your friend, Prettylady
	__________________ To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.

02-25-2007, 11:33 PM	#12 (permalink)
LFM2 ~This space for rent~ Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 4,750 Location: across the tracks Status: Couple	Re: Playing on First Meets Oh man -- That USED to be one of our rules. Rule #254 -- No playing on a first date. We decided that rule was inane the first time we ever played with another couple. We don't presume that everyone will want to play on a first date, but we do go prepared if things just happen to fall into place.
	__________________ Dave & Holly

02-25-2007, 11:43 PM	#13 (permalink)
mandb4u Registered User Join Date: Dec 2006 Posts: 1 Location: beatrice,ne Status: couple Swing Lifestyle Name:m&beeforu	Re: Playing on First Meets we play on the first meeting if everyone agrees.

02-26-2007, 05:20 PM	#15 (permalink)
Chicup Not a potential *** Join Date: Nov 2001 Posts: 4,093 Location: Under the bed Status: Tired	Re: Playing on First Meets Profile says: We don't play on first meet. Translation: We are unsure of ourselves in swinging or may just want a good excuse in case we don't find you attractive. Thats pretty much it. If you are sure in both what you and your partner want, there really isn't a reason to go home, decide if you want to touch their naughty bits and set another get together to do so. Communication is key, but once you reach that 'special' level of communication that swingers seem to have, you normally don't have to talk about it. A nod or other non-verbal 'yes/no' is all you need. It is a good safety valve though.

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