Surprises you hope never to discover when meeting swingers

[daisy girl]

Bad teeth...I love kissing.
Fake pictures...why lie?
Genital sores...enough said.
Bad smells...yipes!

[richdon03]

Originally Posted by LikeMinds321

There are some things I've not come across when meeting swingers for a personal meet and I hope I never do.

Here are a few:

1. Bad teeth - I can't imagine kissing someone with rotting unhealthy teeth. I think this is why I like seeing a big smile in people's profiles, it gives me some assurance that I will like their mouth.
LM

True Story:
The very first party we went to (7 years ago) we noticed that virtually everyone had false teeth, and one guy had a mouthful of rotten teeth. It was disgusting. This group had known each other for years and no one seemed to mind. I remember asking my wife if there was something about swinging that caused people to lose their teeth. To this day, I have never been to a party with that much replacement dental work. Of course, we didn't participate. Nor did we return. Truly strange.

Originally Posted by pumpkins1970

Suprises,...hmmm 1) That couple you met online w/o pics that you really seemed to click with, you go meet them and it's a relative of some sort!

Upon our second attempt to get involved with the lifestyle just a few months ago (our 2nd or third party, I believe), we were invited to a small house party meet & greet. We arrive at the house and are looking for the couple in the picture. Neither is terribly attractive anyway, but they sounded like nice people. We walk into the house, and it's (the house) the one in the profile, the dog is the one in the profile, but the host & hostess were... let's just say not quite as advertised. During the conversation, another guest who showed up that night asked about those people in the profile. The host's response? "Oh, that's my wife's sister, so and so. She's the one who got us into swinging. She couldn't be here tonight....." I kid you not! We did not play that night. Had this been our first event upon re-attempting this lifestyle, we would have just said forget it. You can't make this up, folks! :surrender

[ANGEDKY(mr)]

Eating with your mouth open, chewing and talking Gross, nasty, filthy, rude, disgusting, didn't your momma teach you.....BARF!!! Oh, and on LM's note ugly genitals. I don't want to get into a deep description so, let's just say I saw a hustler in the 90's where she tied it in a MINORA knot Never, ever, ever, ever, want to see that in real life at all no way no how :surrender

[danni654]

Omigod! You have met people from our area, haven't you!?! Add NASCAR and shopping at Walmart to the list of conversation no-nos for us! Hey, "weed on"!

Originally Posted by Chip_n_Muffy

A major turn off for us is uneducated, illiterate, and stupid. Fortunately, we manage to weed those out early in the process in most cases. A more subtle turnoff to me is a lack of introspection, a lack of self awareness. To me, that indicates a shallowness and want of imagination. We like to talk about more than the new camper shell he bought or the chicken broaster she got for her birthday.

Chip

[danni654]

For me, add super thick, never been touched, matted mounds of furry pussy. Been there and I certainly did not "do" that! Thank god we were in a group situation and I could do a "pass off"! LOL I prefer shaved (or lasered clean for good, like me). 'cuz pussy tastes too good to cover up!

Originally Posted by LikeMinds321

1. Bad teeth - I can't imagine kissing someone with rotting unhealthy teeth. I think this is why I like seeing a big smile in people's profiles, it gives me some assurance that I will like their mouth.

2. I never want to go on a date with 'Hal' - Halitosis would stop anything from happening. I would have to be three feet away just to talk to the person! On the other hand, if a person's breathe smells like the great meal we just had, that's okay, I have often found I want to lick that great pepperoni pizza right out of his mouth.

3: An ugly penis - I've seen enough pics of bad ones that I fear one day when I meet one I'll freeze up right then and there and have to play sick, then rush out the door.

[singleagain]

I'm afraid I'll have someone show up that looks like a million dollars only to find out they spent their last fifty to get that way. I like to know what your hairdresser knows...it just seems to be a lot safer to me.

[notaswingeryet]

Originally Posted by Chip_n_Muffy

or the chicken broaster she got for her birthday.

Chip

Who buys their wife a chicken roaster for her birthday? Thats what jewelry and toys were made for.
ps I work for Wal Mart. I don't want to hear any one discuss it. Subject closed.

[clecouple]

What we have encountered is that we seem to click online or through a club forum and then when pictures are sent, they are bigger than we thought or they said. And we're not talking penis or boob size.

[JustAskJulie]

Originally Posted by pumpkins1970

You meet the other swingers for the first time for dinner in a nice quiet restaurant and "THEY TALK LIKE THIS ABOUT EVERYTHING, ESPECIALLY THE FACT IT IS NICE TO MEET MORE SWINGERS RIGHT HERE IN THIS RESTAURANT!"

Had that happen years ago. Luckily, we had met this couple at some out of the way cafe so we didn't know anyone there, but all they talked about the whole time was sex and swinging... and loudly.

Another to add to the list that we've encountered... her lingerie comes off revealing a girdle underneath hiding a very different body than you expected.

[Mr.Essex]

Long story short, I'm always thankful that most swingers' clubs have an on-site shower. Pheremones are great (the scent of a clean yet unperfumed woman is a lovely thing); pheremones combined with a day's supply of filth are abominable. I've been turned off by BO, to the point where I've cut off all types of communication with the offenders in question.

And I'm not a big fan of race play. For every date that ends lighthearted, "So, did you enjoy a taste of dark meat?"-style banter, I've had my share of, "He's sticking that nigger prick in you, gonna make you a black cock whore, give you some coon babies..." ramblings. I don't like it, and I will leave without consummation if it happens to me.

[sweet_tna]

Ya'll have covered the big ones already (misrepresentation from pics, bad teeth/hygiene, ugly/unhealthy genitals). Only other one I can add is sloppy appearance. I may be cosmetically challenged, but I do make an effort to look my best. If it's obvious the other person made no effort, then it's a huge turnoff.

=)

[yogee]

Originally Posted by LikeMinds321

A penis that looks like the head exploded - like the atom bomb - ....

. my friend had it and I myself said this to him: Hey, no self-respecting woman is going to like that . That was more than 12 years ago.

[bryanlee]

Rude people - Not just to me, but anyone in general.

Dirty people - Whether it is just the way they dress, smell or even a dirty home. I will walk away immediately.

Idiots - I can barely stand to be around them much less have any sort of sex with them. I call it self-inflicted retardation.

Racism - I have had people assume that just because I am from Alabama that I agree with their distorted views of reality.

[jdavisauto]

Our biggest turn off is dis-respectful to me or my lady half. When it comes to my lady half you will show her respect! My biggest fear is that we go into a room with a couple and I would be kissing on a lady and sucking her tits and when I get down between her legs is that she woulld have a bigger cock then me. It's not that she has a cock, hell my lady half would love that. It's that it would be bigger then mine.

[realcplub2]

Ok.. We thought we had some horror stories...

Case in point: the second couple we met, Seemed nice, things went well between IMs and telephone.. made arraingments to meet, and as we sat there, it was a HOLY SHIT moment..

She was dressed in and outfit that would make Brittney Spears blush,( i'd swear, the skirt stopped half an inch short of being a belt) and he was like he stepped out of Studio 54.. remember this was the MIDDLE 90's..
We smiled and I whispers to the Mrs, ok.. whats the worst that could happen.. we soon found out.. they gave us the full court press from the first minute they figured out it was us, to head somewhere else.. as far as body odor.. they never heard the phrase WHORE'S BATH, cause under the gallon and a half of cologne, they still needed a SHOWER... BAD!!

Well, thankfully, we were in public, I ducked away, and faked a "call" ( remember, it wasnt cells then, it was BEEPERS) and we had to get home right away.. and litteraly ran to the car!!