Is it common to be exclusive?

[Twist & Venus]

Twist-

So the Venus and I are new to this life style (just had are first full swap last weekend) but we have talked about it for many many years. One of the things that we have talked about is trying to find a exclusive couple or even Bi female. we know that it can and does happen, but my question is are there a lot of couples out there that are looking to be exclusive with another couple/bi single/straight single?

If any one reading this has found that special couple/bi single/straight single? was it hard? Was it something that you wanted off the bat or did it just develope?

Knowi do know that haveing a exclusive what ever is contradictive and all but we don't expect it to happen but if we could find it it would make us happy and well if you don't have wants in life what do you have to look foward to.

[good times]

While I have seen a few people around the board here that have said that is what they have or are looking for, I have never met anyone in person who wanted or was looking for an exclusive relationship with a play partner. With the large amount of swingers we have met in the last few years, I would have to conclude that it is pretty rare.

We have a few couples that we play with as often as we can, but for us I don't think an exclusive arrangement would be appealing.

[iapr]

We have found a number of very special couples so my question to you is why on earth would you want to be exclusive? I am not knocking anyone's preference or interests at all but I do wonder why some people would enter the lifestyle only to try revert to just another form of monogamy. If that is what floats your boat by all means pursue it but it may take a bit of sweat equity to find and especially to make it work. Many people are in the lifestyle so they can have variety and to shed the chains of exclusiveness.

While there are a number of couples that do seem to like the idea of exclusiveness so it would seem possible I have the feeling that most are pretty short lived relationships. Having an exclusive bi fem would seem to be an invitation for drama as well. How long will it be before one or the other of you gets tired of her or the opposite how long before one or the other starts to have feelings for her or she does for one of you more than the other?

I'm not knocking ya and not trying to talk you out of it but those are some of the things to think about.

[edmustang]

Would this fall under the category of "polyamory"?

[Twist & Venus]

Twist-

polyamory?? No!

iapr I do agree with you about entering the Lifestyle then get in to a exclusive relationship. when it comes down to it i think it is more of fantasy then anything. If it ever did come around who knows if we would even take it. I also think that haveing a Fi fem that is just for us is the man part of me wanting to have 2 women anytime i want. i can see how people might see it as polyamory but a good part of polyamory is religion and religion is fine for some people but it is notfor us,or not at least mainstream religion but this is not the plase to talk about that.

I think when it comes down to it we prob want more of what good times was saying having couples that we play with alot. But when it comes down to it we are just happy to be in the lifestyle.

[WesternSwing]

Originally Posted by Twist & Venus

Twist-

polyamory?? No!

...i can see how people might see it as polyamory but a good part of polyamory is religion and religion is fine for some people but it is notfor us,or not at least mainstream religion but this is not the plase to talk about that.

I think you are confusing polygamy and polyamory. The former is one man married to several women (or in some cases, but not as common, one woman married to several men), usually for religious purposes (such as early Mormonism and some Fundamentalist LDS sects today) and the latter is simply being open to having more than one loving, intimate relationship at a time with the knowledge and consent of everyone involved.

Mr. WS

[havefuninsun]

We're looking to find several (number is subjective) couples or singles to play with ... a group of folks we feel are safe, secure, and is acting responsibly as well. Is that what you mean? If it is, I can say that we've been on this quest for nine months or so, and haven't fulfilled our objective yet. It's time consuming, but I think it will be well worth it in the end.

Good luck!!

[DBL D]

I also wonder why you fantasize about this. It seems like it isn't about swinging if that happens, it's about a LTR.

When you think about it, aren't you already exclusive? You don't play with everyone do you? We don't. We have a few couples we like to be with and are always looking for other likeminded people but we certainly don't want to get into anything that permanent.

I remember going to a dance and two couples showed up that our friends knew. We found out right away that these 2 couples only played with each other. We wondered why they came to a dance?

Male D

[curiouscouple4f]

My husband and I would like the same thing, a fun exclusive couple for play. I think that it could open up (after time and trust) a lot of play, and I (the Mrs.) would like to have two men, and a lady for play whenever someone wants.... It is one of our fantasies...The ultimate friends with benefits for couples (Don't want to move to GA do you?)

The Mrs..

[curiouscouple4f]

Originally Posted by DBL D

I remember going to a dance and two couples showed up that our friends knew. We found out right away that these 2 couples only played with each other. We wondered why they came to a dance?

Male D

To have fun like anyone else. Why do couple go to movies, or others go to swing clubs to watch, it is a fun time and can enhance the experience and desires for all later.

The Mrs.

[prettylady]

Originally Posted by curiouscouple4f

To have fun like anyone else. Why do couple go to movies, or others go to swing clubs to watch, it is a fun time and can enhance the experience and desires for all later.

The Mrs.

Dog and I have been to a swing club twice now. I have to say they are NOTHING like a vanilla club. You can play and flirt and dress as pervocitve as you like and no bad reactions. In a vanilla bar you show any sort of intrest in being sexual and people point and critise(sp?)
Things are much more fun and electric at a swing club. Both nights Dog and I went home with each other and had FANTASTIC sex.
Nothing wrong with going out to a swing club and not planning on having sex with others.
Your friend,
Prettylady

[Mrs.PaganLovers]

Originally Posted by WesternSwing

I think you are confusing polygamy and polyamory. The former is one man married to several women (or in some cases, but not as common, one woman married to several men), usually for religious purposes (such as early Mormonism and some Fundamentalist LDS sects today) and the latter is simply being open to having more than one loving, intimate relationship at a time with the knowledge and consent of everyone involved.

Mr. WS

Dito What WS said, polyamory is not a religion based thing.

I know a couple of couples that are in a polyamory relationship and have been for years.

Blessings
Mrs. PL

[BorisNatasha]

We have found that 'special couple' where everything just clicks, but we don't make it an exclusive relationship. In fact we have had a lot of fun introducing our other friends to each other, the more the merrier. But so far we haven't found anyone that we connected with like these two, and they say the same about us. It has gotten to the point that we have gone on vacations together (and are currently planning a joint trip to Desire Cancun, woo!) and we are all just having a blast... while still seeing other friends for playtime on occasion.

I am not knocking what you are looking for, but exclusivity does not have any draw for us. In fact it would probably open the door for hurt feelings later when one couple decided they wanted to branch out again.

That being said, I hope you do find what you want... it can only lead to pleasure and happiness if you find a couple that special!

B

[LusciousLips]

Hello I wanted to say that We have given this idea some thought also. My thought on it was more so a safety issue. I don't want to be playing with mass amounts of people.I really worry about the STD factor. I would prefer to get to know a couple and stay with them as long as we wanted and when we were ready to move on or them then that is fine.

But I think if you stay with one couple then you get more comfy and it makes the sex better I think. I would be able to relax more and explore a bit more.

Just my thoughts

XXOXOXO
Erica

[daisy girl]

Yes, we want our own "circle of port-" three couples that we play regularly with, take trips, etc. So far, we have found two of those couples and are currently searching for the third. It is time consuming but as many have said...when you find those friendships it is all worth it .