Would you tell your spouse?

[Evil_Bastard]

My wife I were talking a few weeks ago and that conversation brought up a question about the sort of conversations that swinging couples might have. I mean if one of you (you or your spouse) discovered that there was a new person at work, or a new waitress/waiter in the cafe where you have coffee in the morning, or a new cashier at the gas station etc. that you thought was attractive, would you tell your spouse about it and (if so) how might that conversation go? Would you say something like "Gawd there is this new guy/gal at work (or where ever) and I would love to do a little somethin' somethin' with them" or would you say simply "there is a new person at work (cafe, gas station, etc.)" and leave it go at that? OR! would you just let it go altogether and wait 'til you are doing swinger stuff (reading ads on SLS, or at a club, or house party, etc.) to find someone else, but not talk about the someone at work etc. that you find hot?

[jennandjamesinm]

We always talk about people that we see that we think are hot whether we are together or not. Usually, one of us is like "hey honey, I saw this hot chick and I sure wouldn't throw her out of bed and I don't think you would either." It's in fun for us.

Jenn

[Alexxander]

Because my wife has some small insecurities, about herself (physically), I would ratter avoid talking about “hot” people at work, or places that I frequent a lot.

You see, I am always trying to tell my wife how beautiful SHE is for me and for others.

But, when we are together we (both of us) have no trouble saying: “look at that hot piece of…”

[lovefest04]

Talking about others is an important part of our foreplay. We both tell each other stories about someone who flirted with us, or we found hot. We even go so far as to make up stories, just to tease the other.

My wife often asks me, did you see so and so today, knowing that so and so is someone I find attractive. I love that she's confident and secure enough not to be upset about flirting or more. I hope that she finds that trait attractive in me as well.

So, beware, if we've ever crossed paths with any of you and you're hot, you've been in our fantasies and maybe had you name or physical description included as part of our lovemaking.

[havefuninsun]

Originally Posted by Evil_Bastard

My wife I were talking a few weeks ago and that conversation brought up a question about the sort of conversations that swinging couples might have. I mean if one of you (you or your spouse) discovered that there was a new person at work, or a new waitress/waiter in the cafe where you have coffee in the morning, or a new cashier at the gas station etc. that you thought was attractive, would you tell your spouse about it and (if so) how might that conversation go? Would you say something like "Gawd there is this new guy/gal at work (or where ever) and I would love to do a little somethin' somethin' with them" or would you say simply "there is a new person at work (cafe, gas station, etc.)" and leave it go at that? OR! would you just let it go altogether and wait 'til you are doing swinger stuff (reading ads on SLS, or at a club, or house party, etc.) to find someone else, but not talk about the someone at work etc. that you find hot?

We talk about hot people all the time. The conversation would go like this:

<mr fun sitting on the couch; I enter the room> "hey baby, how was your day? Guess what? The new pool boy started work today and OH. MY. GOD. He is SOOO hot!!!" <Mr. Fun looks up> "Invite him over for dinner, and work that mojo baby"

OK, I'm making some of that up, but you get the point. It's not hard to get into that kind of conversation with Mr. Fun. I love how open we are ... that's one of the most wonderful thing about swinging ... you can really be yourself.

[ohash01]

J. and I frequently discuss other's levels of hotness when we're out together. I remember one night my cousin was DJing at this hot little club in Cincy...we went out...he reserved us a private table and gave us our own waitress. She was smokin'! She had on this tiny skirt and these fishnets...she came over to take our first drink order and J. and I both just looked at each other and went "Think she'll go home with us?" Then we remembered we were staying at my aunt's that night..Doh!

As for when we see someone alone...yeah...we talk about it. I tell him about hot guy/girls I see. He doesn't go out much...he works from home...but he's sure to point out hot women on TV/Internet. Then he asks me what I'd do to her. Haha.

[NandTfromCA]

Long before swinging we would tell each other about the hot guy/girl that we met any given day. Now that we are swinging, it is a "Do you think ___ might be game for some fun" kinda conversation.

That said, Alexxander had a point about his wife's insecurities. If your wife is similar, then you should be very conscious of how discussing your attraction to others will make her feel. (which would also be a big red flag for swinging…not a categorical deal killer but certainly a slippery slope)

You know your wife better than we do. If you think she would be fine with it, toss it out there and keep a keen awareness to her reaction.

[Chicup]

I'm very much a male.
Mrs. Chicup is very much female.

This means that when she used to try to describe a new female friend at work or where ever, she would put in details that meant pretty well nothing to me. We finally narrowed it down to a 'you would do her' as a good enough description beyond the basics.

We've never felt, even prior to swinging, any insecurities over the attractiness of others, or letting each other know we found someone attractive.

[Tia Vampire]

Me and my fiance are very open with one another. If we see someone that is attractive, we just come out with it. Sometimes if we see someone that i feel is his type and i'll ask him. "that's your type is'nt it?" and he'll answer me. Or sometimes we just come out and say, " i'll do her or him". Wemake fun of each other too and make it into a game. It could be real fun if you are not the jealous type.

[BnSinbville]

Wish I could copy all the stuff ya'll do, so my replies would look better...bu hopefully the more we post and time goes on..I'll get better...???

Any way..I agree with just do them bit...I just tell B... just tell the ones you wouldn't do, it easier to remember them!!

S

[gatorvol64]

Yeah, we'd we tell each other and the conversation would be along the lines of those already mentioned.

Vol

[intuition897]

This is just part of the fun of the lifestyle. Makes the whole world your candy store.

[getnit2gethr]

Were open about it too but not around vanilla friends.

[flkeyscouple]

We always discuss others we see - often it's 'did you see those nipples'. Or 'do you think we'll fantasize about him/her tonight?'. It's a fun part of the lifestyle!

Sarah

[KajiKurai]

We talk about it. We even have a list of co-workers in the event one of us should change jobs.

Couple of weeks ago a woman in my office inquired with my department's secretary about my phone number. Secretary said,"He has an SO." Told my SO about it. My new mission is to find out who inquired.