Transition Lines

[toycple]

Some of the ones we have used are these:

1. Who's ready for some fun?

2. You mind if I borrow your wife/husband?

3. Would you like to go play?

[cvcple]

the one line I remember the best was "we are getting a room. are you coming?" It worked for us. We have also asked "are you game tonight?" and it seems to work as well. We believe that if you spend most of the night with somebody chatting, there must be some chemistry and just about any line will break the ice.

[theflamekasters]

Originally Posted by toycple

Some of the ones we have used are these:

1. Who's ready for some fun?

2. You mind if I borrow your wife/husband?

3. Would you like to go play?

I think we have heard those before....lmao


I am usually the more aggressive person of any group, i try not to be pushy, dont want that, but i tend to take the lead, when we are at the club, i will make it a gradual move, start with rubbin the leg and whisperin in the ear, then let the natural flow happen. Sometimes i ask so you think you man is ready to play with my wife? Or think they are havin fun, becuase i am ready to have some fun with you. If she is game, i usually stand up and tell my wife what i am doing and make sure it is ok with her hubby, then go, 99% of the time my wife follows right then. Her and i communicate if we are both "ok" witht the couple before we ever go play. If she isnt ok, then we no play!

[Menage_a_Trois]

Wonderful thread Spoo!!!!!

Well even with our combined years of experience in the lifestyle we too struggle with this as well. Pepper you make a great point in that it's the 5 steps of selling....

After spending sometime with a couple getting to know more about them, their likes dislikes etc I (Pam) will usually just simply ask them, "are you guys interested in getting better acquainted with each other?" .......which I then usually offer to go see what rooms are available if we get the yes response we are hoping for!

My biggest struggle is that I over think whether or not the other couple is interested........so I then to drag out the asking because lets face it nobody likes to hear no, while you understand it's going to happen, still doesn't mean you have to like it. We have found and both agree it's always more well received when the women do the asking verses the men. So Tom rarely will say anything other that the nidge toward me that he is interested........(he has this adorable raising of the brow thing he does followed by a gleam in his devilish eyes lol).....

In retrospec I would have to say I struggle more in "reading" the other couples signals as to if they are even interested than I do with asking........

[Jareth]

I didn't read the entire list, so apologies if someone has already mentioned this.

The swinger lifestyle is referred to as The Lifestyle. I have a background in the pick-up/seduction community which we refer to as simply The Community. In The Community, we have a term for what you are experiencing; it's called a sticking point. More specifically, your sticking point has to do with escalation.

I'm going to give you a very powerful example of how to fix this problem. There is quite a bit that goes into this, but I am a big fan of running before walking.

Do exactly this:

The next time you are in rapport (having fun) with a person, wait for a high point in the conversation. When that moment comes, say confidently and sincerely, "hey, I like you." After that, shut the fuck up. Do not speak, do not move, just hold eye contact and have a look of quiet expectancy. Stick to your guns, and wait for them to respond. After they do (usually by blushing and admitting that they like you too), you can release the tension and reward them with a hug, kiss, etc.

Other things you can say:
-You're sexy
-I want to kiss you
-Wow, that was one of those moments
-You look like you're a good kisser
-Any pointed open ended question

Ta da- you have just escalated. Good luck.




-Jareth

p.s. As I mentioned before, there are many reasons why this works, but if you do it just like this, you should see immediate results.

[notaswingeryet]

Originally Posted by Jareth

The next time you are in rapport (having fun) with a person, wait for a high point in the conversation. When that moment comes, say confidently and sincerely, "hey, I like you." After that, shut the fuck up. ~~, and wait for them to respond.

Nice plan, simple, easy to remember.

However you have to be absolutely sure of their response before diving in like that. If the other party responds with "I like you too but not in that way" you simply cover up your embarassment and move on. An "Eww I didn't mean to lead you on Eww" will result in a mounth of embarassment related performance issues. Most men dread that last response, and therefore allow our fear of rejection to cause us to dwell at the sticking point. Hitting it at the high point of the conversation could alleviate some of that fear, or it could push us to act reclessly, giddy with good emotions. There's a fine line there, I'm not sure I learned how to walk it.

[Jareth]

Originally Posted by notaswingeryet

Nice plan, simple, easy to remember.

However you have to be absolutely sure of their response before diving in like that. If the other party responds with "I like you too but not in that way" you simply cover up your embarassment and move on. An "Eww I didn't mean to lead you on Eww" will result in a mounth of embarassment related performance issues. Most men dread that last response, and therefore allow our fear of rejection to cause us to dwell at the sticking point. Hitting it at the high point of the conversation could alleviate some of that fear, or it could push us to act reclessly, giddy with good emotions. There's a fine line there, I'm not sure I learned how to walk it.

(sigh)

Listen close... you have a basic human right to not feel inferior to anybody. Rest assured that a fear of rejection is rooted in self-esteem. I recommend that from this moment on you start seeing everyone for what they are: people FIRST and everything else second- that super hot babe by the bar is a person first and beautiful second; you are a person first and out for a good time second. That puts you on a level playing field, end of story.

Stating your intent blatantly only seems risky because you are assuming that the other couple isn't having a good time. In reality, I am sure you are plenty interesting and fun; why would you deny anybody the experience of you?

I believe that two of the most beautiful words in the English language are "I want". Define what you want and state it proudly. Most people- especially the ones who spend countless nights putting up with the same old smalltalk bullshit- are hardwired to be attracted to someone who knows what they want. You can't fight nature.




-Jareth

P.S. Right now I want sex- I'm going to go pound my wife into the mattress...

[notaswingeryet]

Originally Posted by Jareth

you have a basic human right to not feel inferior to anybody. Rest assured that a fear of rejection is rooted in self-esteem.

I have no problem agreeing with this statement, however knowledge of the fact does not give me mastery of it. I have allways found that you should test the waters before jumping in. If she likes me and I like her then we can progress to the next level. However if she likes me but does not like my choice of words, it will spoil my chances. That failure on my part to "close the deal" will, in effect ruin my mood and possibly my future dealings with the oppisite sex, nervouse performance is not good no matter what causes it.

I think most men will agree that our main hesitation problem is caused by our second guessing ourselve due to past situations. If on the otherhand the sitaution does warrent the green light, go for it, visualize you desires and ask for what you want.