Charity Sex

[cracker60479]

My question is about the way a woman feels about the importance she places on her giving of sex, her charitability or her absolute insistance on certain types of men. My question is for the wives of couples who often go to on-premisis clubs and your style is to swing independant of one another. Suppose you, the wife, talks to a male at several parties. He seems nice, meets all your physical requirements, not to fat, not to tall or short, etc. but just does'nt turn you on. Maybe a little to old, not great looking, yet seems nice enough a guy. You would not initiate sex with him, he is just not what you like in men. But you know he wants you, bad. Maybe he is a little older and it would make his year to bed a young sexy looker like you. Or he may not be handsome, not ugly but not handsome and he would give a weeks pay to charity for sex with you. Would you, because he is acceptable and he wants you so much, would you have sex with him just because you know he is a nice guy and he really wants you?

[WesternSwing]

Wow, although I am the husband I still know my wife pretty well and can say no, she will not have sex with a guy just to have sex with him. Mrs. WS has to have some kind of chemistry with him and really be turned-on by him to get naked with him.

I will say though that chemistry goes pretty far. She has not been attracted to some men I thought for sure was her type (and physically they were but they just didn't click) and she has been all over other men I would have never thought in a million years she would be attracted to.

So although she would never go for the "mercy fuck", she has surprised me over and over when I try to second-guess her on who turns her on.

Mr. WS

[Spoomonkey]

No doubt how Mrs Spoo would/will answer...

Having had bad experiences, we both insist on chemistry. If there is no chemistry, there is no sex. And fucking some guy to "make his day" isn't why we got into the lifestyle (though, I have no doubt she has made many days for many men They just happened to make her day as well).

Spoomonkey

[rpu3]

Originally Posted by cracker60479

Would you, because he is acceptable and he wants you so much, would you have sex with him just because you know he is a nice guy and he really wants you?

Been there, done that in one swing situation and with a former fiance - and would never do that again. Mutual chemistry/attraction is required, in more than just swinging.

Rebecca
Still on the learning curve...

[Mr&MrsSwing]

I have done the charity sex thing and TRUST ME its a bad idea. I guess it wasn't so much charity sex, as much as it was lack of options at the club. But afterwards I felt disgusting because I really wasn't attracted to the man all that much, he was much older, and once the clothes were off..... Anyhow, I completely discourage it.

[prettylady]

I gave at the office.
No I would not have charity sex. It seems to be a matter of self respect.
If he is not someone I would like to have sex with no matter how sweet he is I am not giving it up. It seems to me by the ones who did give in and had sex that I am right in holding out for someone who is a good match as far as chemisty goes.
With me it is not age, or looks that attract or deture me it is weather or not they care enough about themselves to take care of themselves and not be putting themselves in a situation where a women will take pity on him and have sex.
Show some pride in yourself and the sex will be because the women respects you enough to be wanting to have sex with you.
Your friend,
Prettylady

[JustAskJulie]

Um... no to pity sex. I hate it when situations like this come up and they have. I feel bad in a way because I do like the guy as a person but there are a lot of people I like as a person and I'm not going to go having sex with every person who wants to have sex with me just because I think they are a great person.

[Chip_n_Muffy]

Hell, no wonder I can't laid! Time for plan B, the Visa Platinum card ......



Chip

[good times]

I can confidentely say that Mrs. GT would not do charity sex. You limited your question to women, but I have to say, I wouldn't give a woman charity sex either. If a woman does not turn me on sexually, it isn't going to happen.

[Lumina]

I've given charity sex to a guy I was dating. He was a great guy, I was totally attracted to him intellectually, and there was absolutely nothing wrong with him physically. Somehow for some reason the chemistry wasn't there. I regret it to this day.

[Concupiscence]

Originally Posted by cracker60479

...Would you, because he is acceptable and he wants you so much, would you have sex with him just because you know he is a nice guy and he really wants you?

Not no but HELL NO. There is no such thing as "Charity" sex, that is just whoring yourself out. You either WANT to have sex with a person regardless of what your reasons are or you do NOT want to have sex with a person, also regardless of the reasons. It's just insulting to both parties.

[Pepper & Drew]

Looking pitiful is not sexy and sex with no attraction sucks. It REALLY sucks. If he'd give a week's pay to have sex with a hot chick, he needs to look in the phonebook. Some good-looking "professional" would be glad to take his money.

Pepper

[ShellyM]

Originally Posted by cracker60479

My question is about the way a woman feels about the importance she places on her giving of sex, her charitability or her absolute insistance on certain types of men. My question is for the wives of couples who often go to on-premisis clubs and your style is to swing independant of one another. Suppose you, the wife, talks to a male at several parties. He seems nice, meets all your physical requirements, not to fat, not to tall or short, etc. but just does'nt turn you on. Maybe a little to old, not great looking, yet seems nice enough a guy. You would not initiate sex with him, he is just not what you like in men. But you know he wants you, bad. Maybe he is a little older and it would make his year to bed a young sexy looker like you. Or he may not be handsome, not ugly but not handsome and he would give a weeks pay to charity for sex with you. Would you, because he is acceptable and he wants you so much, would you have sex with him just because you know he is a nice guy and he really wants you?

I have never been in this situation. But I know me pretty well, and I would say no to this. Although its flattering for a man to want you that much most women just can't lay down and make love to a man they aren't clicking with. This has nothing to do with looks, either. I recently talked to a man who met all of the physical requirements. I spoke with him (via IM), and it just was not there at all. And I wanted it to be there, too lol. It hurt when I came to terms with the fact that we just didn't click. But yeah, it would seem almost degrading to be with a man that you aren't attracted to sexually.

[cracker60479]

I wrote this thread. I gave you a man with everything you would require except an attraction to him. And everyone said no . Well, except the guy who figured out thats why he cant get laid . I agree, I could not get it up for a female I was not attracted to, unless I was intoxicated and really horny or it was a party gang bang or group sex. A woman can be ready when she lays down. You said you would'nt do that (or again) just for him even though you would be getting what you were there for, to have sex with another man . It is an attraction that is necessary. What is that attraction? You have said it is not looks, liking the guy, or someone you were even attracted to enough to date . Even husbands think their wife will go for a certain guy and she goes for someone they would never have expected . What is this attraction? I cant tell you Surrender. It seems like the subject for another thread (by someone else please). But if one of you ladies can tell us how to be attractive beyond the obvious, you can replace Oprah on the money list.

[Spoomonkey]

Originally Posted by cracker60479

What is this attraction?

It is extremely complex and - at the same time - amazingly simple. It is called chemistry. When it is there - you know it. When it is not - you can try to make it happen, but it won't.

There is nothing you can do to make yourself attractive to a partner. Sure, you can get some cologne, bathe a bit more often, hit the gym regularly - but still chemistry is what chemistry is.

It can be a vengeful bitch...

I think it is something that you experience and accept - or you never perceive it and spend your life trying to "create" it with self-help books and penis pumps. Be yourself - be friendly - be genuine - be patient. And in the end, things work out beautifully.

Spoomonkey