How long did it take you to decide?

[lustylearning]

Only a week elapsed between the time we discussed it seriously and the time we went to our first event; however, there was a mental and spiritual evolution in our relationship during the two years preceding which truly prepared us. We had been examining our core beliefs, the difference between sex and love, and societal norms, and had come to the conclusion that things were not as we had been taught in Sunday school...

[iapr]

We, or maybe I should say I started out on swinger site as a fake and a poser.

That's right, we did not have any discussions or thoughts of swinging for the first 9 years of our marriage. To make a long story short I heard that a gal I knew had a profile and "sex storys" on AFF so I put up a fake profile in order to find her and see her pics and storys. After perving many profiles and reading forums and other people's stories I began to think that maybe we should look into this afterall.

When I initially brought it up with mrs iapr I assumed she would take out the rustiest dullest butter knife in the drawer and lop my you-know-whats off. instead of freaking out and pitching a fit she was curious about what was going on out there and wanted to see the profile and to read other profiles. After a few days we rewrote our profile together so it sounded somewhat sane and we began to have some of our first discussions about swinging and about our marriage etc.


After about 10 months we had our first meeting and our first same room/same partner experience. About 6 months after that we began to go to clubs and meet people regularly and had our first soft swing experience. and about 6 months after that we had our first full swap experience.

So from the time we had our first discussion untill he actually had physical contact with someone was about a year and a half and the first time we had a full swap was about 2 years from our first conversation.

[fun4Ds]

[quote=dayhiker;233409]

So I want to say thanks to all of you for helping me in so many ways.


dayhiker

In some ways it would be YOU who I thank dayhiker. I remember, and this may be wrong, It was in maybe 97 we chatted here. Heck, I don't remember my screen name then, but I couldn't decide if this was just a bunch of bologna porno site. Quite different I should say, I couldn't have been more mistaken.

You were the one who said these were real authentic and honest people here. Somehow, you seemed honest and trusting in the chat that day. It was you, who got me thinking about how to make the picture more clear, and reading the forums, listening to the women here, that taught me how to listen to my wife in a different way, and actually talk to my wife honestly.

In view of the thread, How long did it take you to decide ?
I would have to say, all but the last several years of our lives.
We believe, destiny in life, happens for a reason.

[prettylady]

Originally Posted by Chicup

So my questions to the successful swingers is:

1. Did any of you take the long multiyear path?
2. Did you analyze and re analyze the concept before deciding to do it?
3. Did you convince your wife (or husband) who was initially opposed to the concept?
.

Dog told me about swinging early on in our relationship. From the time he told me until our first experience it was approx 6 months.
Before that I never realized swinging was a "real" people thing. I always figured that open sex was a thing that happened with famous people or the whole "what happens in Vegas" thing. I was shocked to see that this was a lifestyle for long term loving couples.

After hanging out on the board here and then going to the meet up, I had no trouble making this decision. Once I saw how much couple truly do care for one another I was hooked. I mean seriously, intense love coupled with fantastic sex with anyone I want (who also wants me) how could you not get hooked

I was never opposed to the concept. Dog didn't do any convincing, he put it out there and the good people of the board convinced me with thier openess and guidence.

I love you guys

Your friend,
Prettylady

[sweet_tna]

Originally Posted by Chicup

1. Did any of you take the long multiyear path?
2. Did you analyze and re analyze the concept before deciding to do it?
3. Did you convince your wife (or husband) who was initially opposed to the concept?

1) Nope. Took us all of a two months between the time we started discussing it and our first experience.

2) Nope. And that's surprising, given my tendency to analyze things to death.

3) Nope. My honey thought I'd never go for it, so he never brought it up to me. When I brought it up to him, he was more than happy to give it a go.

=)

[ALilOEverything]

With my ex we had sporatic experiences from the start but I brought it up more seriously and we pursued it within months. We divorced after I found out about years of infidelity on his part. I'm going to remarry this June and we've been together for nearly 2 years. He's open to the lifestyle and so am I but we both agree that we want to enjoy it being just the two of us for a little longer. We may never pursue it and that's okay with me but it's fun to discuss fantisies in an open way. We did have an mfm and we've joked recently about doing it again with thiss specific person but I think it's more talk than anything. I do feel if the right situation presented itself we would probably go for it though.

[JustAskJulie]

Welcome back ALI O!!! We've missed you much. Congrats on the upcoming nuptials, we are very happy for you!

[two4youinswva]

Originally Posted by JustAskJulie

Welcome back ALI O!!! We've missed you much. Congrats on the upcoming nuptials, we are very happy for you!

Ditto!

Welcome back and congrats on the wedding!




EDIT: As to the original question:
We talked about it for a couple months. We actually met a couple, but nothing transpired. We dropped it for about three years for no particular reason. Then, when we explored it again, it only took about a month to actually hook up.