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Couples with strict rules - are they setting themselves up for failure?

This is a discussion on Couples with strict rules - are they setting themselves up for failure? within the What are your rules/boundaries? What should ours be? forums, part of the Boundaries & Limits category; After posting on another topic I was wondering how many other couples have run into situations where they have been ...

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Old 05-24-2006, 07:28 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Default Couples with strict rules - are they setting themselves up for failure?

After posting on another topic I was wondering how many other couples have run into situations where they have been confronted with unusual "rules". Ex.... no kissing, no oral, ect.. ect... Are these couples setting themselves up to fail? or are they too insecure to last as swingers?
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Old 05-24-2006, 08:49 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: Rules???

I think every couple needs a set of rules that makes them feel comfortable. We typically don't like to play with other couples that won't kiss because we both love to kiss and for us, it would be an incomplete evening.

That's not to say that they are setting themselves up to fail though because I'm sure there are lots of couples that share their views.

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Old 05-24-2006, 01:45 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: Rules???

we went into it with alot of rules. and found many of them changed or were kinda droped as far as no kissing and such. we found ya should always respect anyones and everyones rules. cant say we ever came across any unusual rules.
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Old 05-24-2006, 01:50 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: Rules???

Yeah you start out with a thick rule book and then over time each rule seems less and less important. After a while you're more secure about everything and you don't need all of the rules any more.
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Old 05-24-2006, 02:06 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: Rules???

We have a few rules, which we spell out in our online profile - the most prominent of which is that we are not currently in full swap mode.

Our full swap limitation is probably not unusual for couples in our situation - long term momogamous relationship punctuated by a relatively meager amount of swinging experience. We may be singing a different tune down the road a bit...

In fact, we currently have two exceptions to our full swap rule. 1) Any couple which visits us from more than 1,000 miles away, and 2) Any couple who can guess our favorite baseball team...
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Old 05-24-2006, 02:09 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: Rules???

Quote:
Originally Posted by JTcamp05
After posting on another topic I was wondering how many other couples have run into situations where they have been confronted with unusual "rules". Ex.... no kissing, no oral, ect.. ect...
We haven't played with these couples with very strict rules, because they aren't a match for us. We have seen them in profiles, though. We just don't contact them. We respect people's boundaries, whatever they may be - and accept that they're just not for us. They'll probably find somebody else that will be more in line with what they want, though.
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Old 05-24-2006, 02:20 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Default Re: Rules???

Quote:
Originally Posted by 2jersey
We have a few rules, which we spell out in our online profile - the most prominent of which is that we are not currently in full swap mode.

Our full swap limitation is probably not unusual for couples in our situation - long term momogamous relationship punctuated by a relatively meager amount of swinging experience. We may be singing a different tune down the road a bit...

In fact, we currently have two exceptions to our full swap rule. 1) Any couple which visits us from more than 1,000 miles away, and 2) Any couple who can guess our favorite baseball team...

Hmmm could it be the New York Yankees ?

How many times can we guess?
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Old 05-24-2006, 03:59 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Default Re: Rules???

Quote:
Originally Posted by AZ Dreaming
Hmmm could it be the New York Yankees ?

How many times can we guess?
Bingo!
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Old 05-24-2006, 06:24 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Default Re: Rules???

WOOHOO!! What do I win?
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Old 05-24-2006, 06:54 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Default Re: Rules???

Quote:
Originally Posted by AZ Dreaming
WOOHOO!! What do I win?
Well - we referred to the glossary in the swinging handbook - and shortly after 'Bingo' comes 'Bango' (swingers are noncomformists) ... and the following entry is 'Breakfast'. So, give us your flight number (we'll pick you up at the airport) and tell us what would you like us to cook you for breakfast (and we'll have the proper ingredients on hand).
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Old 05-24-2006, 07:22 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Default Re: Rules???



Nice!! Im a fruit and croissants kind of girl.... Especially after a night of fun!
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Old 05-24-2006, 07:28 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Default Re: Rules???

Rules are made out of fear, and fear diminishes because of it's metaphisical non reality so therefore diminish the rules..

"Do whast thou will shall be the whole of the law.."
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Old 05-24-2006, 07:32 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Default Re: Rules???

Quote:
Originally Posted by TeamSoBe
Yeah you start out with a thick rule book and then over time each rule seems less and less important. After a while you're more secure about everything and you don't need all of the rules any more.
I would agree with this. The first timers are always going to have a list of boundries, but after the comfort level increases, those rules/boundries come down. Respect their wishes, or find someone else that fits closer to your speed.
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Old 05-24-2006, 07:35 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Default Re: Rules???

Quote:
Originally Posted by 2jersey
We have a few rules, which we spell out in our online profile - the most prominent of which is that we are not currently in full swap mode.
As long as the Yankee's fans still suck, I'd be interested
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Old 05-24-2006, 08:04 PM   #15 (permalink)
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Default Re: Rules???

Quote:
Originally Posted by neoparadigm
Rules are made out of fear, and fear diminishes because of it's metaphisical non reality so therefore diminish the rules..

"Do whast thou will shall be the whole of the law.."
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