What is the monetary cost of swinging for you?

[Tybee Swing]

Originally Posted by des1re06

We've never really sat down an analyzed it, but I know it's around $700 per month, not counting trips to Mexico (Desire was $3,000) and Florida (Caliente was $1,500 for a long weekend) and New Orleans ($1,500).

Wow...we'd have to get second jobs to swing in this style...and then we'd be working so much to make the money, we'd be too tired to have sex.

[Tybee Swing]

Originally Posted by Alura

We've always played locally with one couple at a time, never gone to clubs (with the exception of Menages at the Nashville Meet Up), never been a member of an on-line introduction service...

Aluras, without attending clubs or having a profile online, how do you meet people in the Lifestyle to get together with?

[Tybee Swing]

Originally Posted by Mrs Spoomonkey

Yes it does just depending on the time of year, what kind of year we're having and how much the kids are costing us

Us, too! Family is a big factor. We've got one in college, and sadly, another one (Mr. Tybee's oldest) just beginning to go through a divorce. The other one is getting married in 2008. Cha-ching! $$$$$$

[TNT]

Well I don't know what this "budget" thing is that ya'll are talking about but, it sounds interesting ( Ted, the kids and my whole family say I'm so tight with money that I squeak)

When we first started full time into swinging we spent a LOT...easily 600+ a month. We'd travel two hours to a club spending the weekend away (entrance fees, drinks, food, rooms, gas, etc.) about every other weekend for probably two years or more.

We've also spent lots of money on conventions and travel to resorts.

When we started going to local socials and meeting more people who lived close to us, the cost went down to probably half that or less.

Now, we've gotten to know so many people that house parties are where we do most of our swinging. We do still get the occasional room when needed as well as dinner out with new people but we don't spend nearly as much as we used to. I'd say this past year we might have spent maybe a total of 1000 bucks on swinging, and that includes attending a SB Meet-Up.

We never worried about how much we were spending. As long as the bills were paid, the kids had everything they needed/wanted and money was going into savings, if we had it, we spent it on what made us happy.

We've always looked at it as an investment in us and that's priceless.


Teresa

[des1re06]

we'd have to get second jobs to swing in this style...and then we'd be working so much to make the money, we'd be too tired to have sex

I'm counting in all the goodies: clothes, shoes, toys, batteries, gas to get there, food, club membership fees, liquor...

All our play is out of town, except our house parties.

When we first started full time into swinging we spent a LOT...easily 600+ a month. We'd travel two hours to a club spending the weekend away (entrance fees, drinks, food, rooms, gas, etc.) about every other weekend for probably two years or more.

Yup, we're in this category right now.

[suite91]

Originally Posted by Tybee Swing

Anybody here swing exclusively at your home or at others' homes? What does swinging cost you?

We fall into this category and, until this thread got me thinking, I would have said that our swinging costs are nil. Most of our swinging is with a few 'regulars' and friends. We go to their place or they come to ours, depending on kids etc. J was a bartender and she got lots of attention that would sometimes lead to some after work fun.

Sounds free right? Right until I factored in our hot tub. I would call it our #1 swinging accessory, . When I calculated initial costs (tub, electrical, new deck), chemicals, electricity and maintenance it came to about $200 - $250 a month! We do get a lot of enjoyment from it when it's just us so discount for that, but the main reason we got the tub is that two of the couples we swing with regularly have one and we found it to be a great way to get together. Get some naked, like minded people in close proximity and things get heated quickly.

[Alura]

Originally Posted by Tybee Swing

Aluras, without attending clubs or having a profile online, how do you meet people in the Lifestyle to get together with?

Well, Tybee, we haven't played with very many. But to answer your question, our meetings have come about just by keeping our eyes and minds open for couples who might be "like-minded."

It all started in Germany when we met a couple in a restaurant and went to their apartment. I think they were somewhat experienced but don't know for sure.

We played a game they knew called, "Rain," which amounted to being naked and each person having a turn being touched by the other three at the same time. Since this was our second date, Mrs. Alura and I weren't comfortable enough to play.

On the way home, though, we discussed the concept at length and admitted we both wanted to but wanted to talk first. We never saw that couple again, but I believe that event started started us looking for the "right couple."

We met our first play-couple in line waiting for a table in a restaurant. We got to talking and shared a table "to help with the long line." We talked for a long time and, just before asking for the checks, asked the question, "How do y'all feel about swinging?" We weren't sure we'd ever see them again, so what was to lose? It turned out they'd discussed the idea so we discussed it some more...

We ran an ad in a local swingers' newsletter, and met a couple who had been married twenty years. Neither had ever had sex with anyone other than each other. They adapted readily! We played with them for several years.

One weekend a man I've been friends with since 1973 in Germany and his wife visited for a weekend. We got in the spa for awhile then asked, "How do y'all feel...? Swim suits came off and...

One day I was writing an order at a local adult book and sex toy store that carried my line of motorcycle clothing. During a time when the buyer was busy with another matter, I was reading the "Swingers' Bulletin Board." A man came up and started reading, too. He pointed to a 3X5 card and said, "That's our ad." I read it and asked if he'd like to go across the street for coffee. We made plans for dinner with our wives. We played regularly for several years.

We met a couple at a motorcycle event, chatted for awhile and asked, "How do y'all feel about swinging?"

One night at a cultural event, we chatted with an attractive couple during intermission, decided to go for drinks afterward, talked a lot, asked our question, talked some more, switched partners for the ride home (so nobody would get lost) and...

At a traffic light, Mrs. Playmate and I could see (through the back window of his pickup truck) Mrs. Alura and Mr. Playmate making out ahead of us. We did the same. At the next traffic light, Mrs. Alura was nowhere in sight. We thought things were going well...

So you see, we've been "going with the flow" the whole time. How will we meet our next playcouple? Who knows? But we're looking forward to it! We've recently decided to try a bit harder.

Mr. Alura

[Tybee Swing]

Thanks for that history, Mr. Alura. We've never met up with anybody for swinging that we didn't meet in a swinger's club/social, or through an adult website. Maybe there have been opportunities around us that we just never identified...or maybe we haven't been that lucky?

So, you two usually end up playing at people's houses?

[Alura]

Originally Posted by Tybee Swing

Thanks for that history, Mr. Alura. We've never met up with anybody for swinging that we didn't meet in a swinger's club/social, or through an adult website. Maybe there have been opportunities around us that we just never identified...or maybe we haven't been that lucky?

I think one makes his own luck, Tybee. In our case, we've just taken advantage of opportunities. Usually, as you can see, we've asked our question of folks we just met and may never see again. The exception, of course, was my long-term friend whom I knew wouldn't be so offended as to end the friendship. I also knew he was a horny guy!

I think the way the question is phrased is important, too. "How do y'all (Yankees may feel free to say, 'You Guys.' ) feel about swinging?"

It's important that it can't be answered with "yes" or "no." We're not looking for a commitment, just conversation.

It's not the first question we ask. By the time it comes around, we've already asked, "How do y'all feel about ballet... The Eagles... motorcycling... bison meat... classical music... Stephanie Plum... jealousy..." They're used to the question; only the subject is new.

It is not threatening, and asks for an opinion, not sex. Most people have answered, "Well, we've thought about it..." and the conversation proceeds.

Nobody has ever indignantly said, "Well, I'd never!!! Are you asking us to swap wives???" If they did, we'd simply say, "Oh, no! We saw a show on Oprah one time and discussed it. I think it's a bit adventurous for us... well, who knows... anyway... I was just trying to make the conversation interesting. Have y'all read the Harry Potter books? We like to take books-on-tape on vacation ..."

So, you two usually end up playing at people's houses?

Most folks our age, unlike ourselves, don't have children at home, so it's just worked out that way. One of our playcouples did have a son, about eleven. On nights we were coming to visit, he'd spend the night with a friend in the neighborhood. They had a really cool water bed with a mirror-canopy. We spent some weekends with a couple at their lake house. That was fun! It was also before we had kids.

We've always liked playing at our own house. We love to entertain. We can make use of the spa, the pool, the guest bedroom, the fireplace, the king-size waterbed... We've even had friends come over in the morning when our kids were in school, but not all couples can do that.

I hope that answers your questions (and maybe sparks some creative ideas). Personally, I think it's a lot more fun than meeting someone at a club, having sex, and going home.

Mr. Alura

[Tybee Swing]

Originally Posted by Alura

It's not the first question we ask. By the time it comes around, we've already asked, "How do y'all feel about ballet... The Eagles... motorcycling... bison meat... classical music... Stephanie Plum... jealousy..." They're used to the question; only the subject is new.

It is not threatening, and asks for an opinion, not sex. Most people have answered, "Well, we've thought about it..." and the conversation proceeds.

Very smooth! We need to take lessons from you guys. Y'all.

[WesternSwing]

I keep all our finances in Microsoft Money, so I ran a quick report. With all our membership dues at clubs, bar tabs, dinners out, buying dinners for the kids before we go out, etc., we've spent just a hair over $1,300 in the past 3 months on swinging. But, in the three months prior to that we only spent about $300. So it goes in waves of how active we are with swinging. But damn, looking at it that way it's a very expensive hobby.

Mr. WS

[VanHlebar]

MrsVan and I haven't been very active since our return back from Hedo back in March. I had been off work for a number of months and finally returned to the work force back in June. Then life just seemed to get in the way and then after all that, Mom moved in with us back in September.

When we where going out regularly we would goto one of the 3 clubs that are local to us, or travel to Columbus and goto one of the clubs up there. I think we would spend maybe $100-200 per month when we where active. This year was a bit more expensive I guess because MrsVan didn't have any good club clothes and well we did goto Hedo.

Looking ahead to 2008 I don't think our cost will be any more than the $100-200 per month. We will have a few months that will be more, when we go out of town and some months less if we just aren't active.

Once Mom moves out in February or March, we will again be able to host in our own home and that makes things even cheaper. We try to only go out either to vanilla bars or to swing clubs on the weekends that we don't have our children. So we usually have two free weekends per month and then two weekends that we spend as family time.

We typically have in the past met folks via Swing Lifestyle or Swapper. A few months prior to going to Hedo we had started attending clubs more frequently because we had gotten tired of the "dating" and really like the idea of meeting folks at the club.

Now I must say that MrAlura has me thinking about other situations and well I think I just might have to steal his line. I can think of two occasions that I wish we had used it. One we documented here recently about a blonde that MrsVan and I had met at a local club and then another that happened just last night while we where out. Guess I am going to have to fine tune that approach.

-Van

[LFM2]

Hey there! You know, I never thought about this money thing until you said something. We don't have a budget per se, but we do put money in savings, pay our bills and spend what's left over on foolish stuff like groceries and kids college stuff and high school stuff.

We don't play that often, and when we go on that first date, we usually have dinner. It doesn't have be fancy, but we like a nice place with nice wine.

Gas and dinners included might be about $600 total for the year. If we play with that same couple again, we usually just meet at their house and party from there bringing wine and snacks.

We go to a semi-annual party twice a year which we spend $$ on a nice hotel room with dinner and gas that weekend will probably run us about $400 easy including admission in and drinks.

[Alura]

Originally Posted by VanHlebar

Now I must say that MrAlura has me thinking about other situations and well I think I just might have to steal his line. I can think of two occasions that I wish we had used it. One we documented here recently about a blonde that MrsVan and I had met at a local club and then another that happened just last night while we where out. Guess I am going to have to fine tune that approach.

-Van

I think the key, Van, is to ask the question of people you probably won't meet again. We've had some times when the question didn't lead to play, but we haven't had any where the folks got angry that we asked. Most, even if they weren't up for it, felt complimented.

Like anything else, practice makes perfect. Practice by asking folks (You can start with each other.) "how they feel" about any vanilla subject, health care, opera, country music, rodeo... there's a whole world out there.

It really amounts to developing communication skills, which is just as important in swinging as in marriage, in my opinion.

Again, never ask a question that can be answered with "yes" or "no."

Mr. Alura

[Tia Vampire]

$50 to $100 a month. We only swing once or twice a month. $30 for the donation and $20 for the drink. Depending on our moods and schedules, we may only swing every other month. Sometimes once in a three month period.