What is the monetary cost of swinging for you?

[graygo98]

We haven't ever really thought much about the cost, except to marvel sometimes that you can have so much fun for often not that much money! God, dinner at a nice restaurant costs way more than a night at a club, and doesn't blow your hair back anywhere near the same.

But, then, we don't rack up the types of expenses LM was talking about. Not so much because of the money, though. We tend to avoid people from out of town because travelling seems to up the ante a lot, at least in our minds. If we and/or they are driving four hours or so to meet then it seems like the pressure to play would be there. We prefer to just get to know people on the first meet, with no pressure, no obligation.

Lucky we live in a pretty big town, I guess.

[EvilMJ]

How true LM, it can get pricey.

We like to go to the club - or hotel in this case, a room is probably $75.00, then there is babysitter that can be another $35-50.00. If you are drinking that can get costly, even if we bring drinks say $30.00. Did I mention the price of gas and a new outfit. The dance is $20.00. Wait even with those fees alone that's close to $150.00. It can costly but $300.00...umm..sorry never...I can't afford that at all.

[LikeMinds321]

Originally Posted by DGrey

We have a couple with whom we are close and most of the time, end up at their house. We recently met with a couple who were a little farther out that we'd normally travel but they had already extended the invitation to stay regardless of how the night progressed. It progressed just fine and breakfast the next morning was wonderful.

This sounds like our dream! Finding couples within 45 minutes of us - who, like us, don't have children at home - would allow us to trade off playing in each other's homes.

Once we feel we will continue a relationship with a couple we are happy to invite them to our home to play, however we never do this on a first play.

Originally Posted by bear and babe

I know not everyone is into clubs or even have a club close by. I guess we are lucky that it only takes us 15 min. to get to ours.

We only have a couple off-premise clubs that meet at a hotel once a month. With that there is still the cost of a hotel room. Also, when arranging a first meet with a couple from an ad site, trying to arrange to meet on that one date of the month the club meets has been difficult, and it's not usually the environment most couples would like to start with, including ourselves. We save the clubs for a night when Mr LM and I want to discover new people and say hello to other friends in the lifestyle whom we already know.

Originally Posted by graygo98

If we and/or they are driving four hours or so to meet then it seems like the pressure to play would be there.

Travel does place pressure on the meet, no matter how much both couples dislike pressure, it's there.


In our case we have been willing to travel because we have a very difficult time finding swingers either near our age or those open to meeting people our age - we're both in our fifties. Even though we are fit, attractive, and full of life, it does narrow the playing field considerably.

LM

[Tybee Swing]

Originally Posted by LikeMinds321

[My questions: Do you take the cost of swinging into consideration when choosing playmates? How much influence does cost have? Do/Would the costs of swinging keep you from participating in the lifestyle?

The cost doesn't affect us participating overall, but it does affect how often we are able to!

There are no on-premise clubs anywhere near us. When we did go, it was the most expensive lifestyle thing we've done so far due to the distance, hotel, etc. etc. It was a big weekend hotel event. If we had a local club, I can see how this would be a great solution monetarily.

We meet and play with local couples. However, we've yet to be invited to anyone's home. We can't play at our home, due to family and discretion. I think many couples are in the same boat. By the time we eat out, have drinks, pay for a hotel and all of that, we are easily set back $150 or so -- and this is for local friends.

We've got medical bills and just won't strain the family budget, or put our play costs onto credit card debt, so we limit it due to cost.

[2jersey]

We can better rationalize the costs when we consider swinging as a form of entertainment – and an occasional substitute for our other entertainment options. Drinks and dancing, dinner and a movie, a ball game with peanuts and cracker jacks – they all entail costs. And we are conserving on some of these other entertainment costs by allocating part of our scarce entertainment time to swinging. So the incremental costs are not great.

Your secondary point is well taken, LM. Swinging is especially costly when you determine that you won’t play on the first date – double the costs, more-or-less. We decided at one point that we would try to screen partners pretty thoroughly before agreeing to meet, and we would decide in advance (by mutual agreement) whether play was even an option on the fist meet. As LM has alluded, there are pitfalls associated with rushing to play which are less easily rationalized than the added financial costs of having two meetings.

Unfortunately, the cost of two meetings in our NYC suburb are much higher than the $300 ($150 X 2) mentioned by LM (our hotel rooms run about $200, babysitters get $12 per hour and Martinis are $10 a pop, etc...). Fortunately, however, we don’t get too many opportunities to meet compatible people (or is that unfortunate?)

[NandTfromCA]

Originally Posted by 2jersey

We can better rationalize the costs when we consider swinging as a form of entertainment...

Dito

We have talked about this and it's interesting when you add up everything...hotels, dinners, Hedo Trip, sexy clothes that will probably only be worn in a swing scene...

fuel in the car= $10
dinner= $60
1/2 of a hotel room= $75
spinning, pulsating, waterproof "toy"= $120
industrial sized container of lube= $20
sex with new found friends= PRICELESS!!!
(surprised nobody beet me to that)

[fun4Ds]

for us we have some close friends to play with ,dinner at their house and vice versa so thats cost effecient and fun. if we go out we dont figure on the date being expencive because we would have spent the dough any how, if they dont show or play its still an evening of fun, usally $100. bucks in gas ,drinks or clubs/. now what we have found is our favorite of all times group/club. its byb.50.00 for cabawabo or rum. 20 to get in and 10.00 for a very nice room with a private whirlpool/ bath. usally 15 couples and one hell of a nice place.just havent been fortunate to meet dynamar yet.

oops forgot to add in new shoes mrs.fun always needs new shoes

[Mrs Spoomonkey]

Originally Posted by LikeMinds321

How much will you pay for sex?

My questions: Do you take the cost of swinging into consideration when choosing playmates? How much influence does cost have? Do/Would the costs of swinging keep you from participating in the lifestyle?
LM

LM, I'm sorry to say we don't have the same dilemma as you but we have considered the cost of swinging as it applies to our situations.

We belong to a local club (2 now ) which depending on the cost of the annual membership and weekend fees to get in can get a little pricey by themselves. The one we recently joined was twice the cost of our regular one which is why it has take a year to check it out.

At the club we have played on the first night of meeting someone if the chemistry is there. It's a little different because there isn't the pressure of hotels and hours of driving to meet a second time. So if we play it's just because everyone wants too.

We don't have people to our house until we have met them at least once (on line - then dinner or drinks) or met and/or played at the club. Ideally we are looking to have local friends that we can do things with and have the benefit of playing occasionally, that way we wouldn't even need to do the club we could just get together at each others houses.

In final answer to your question the money is a big consideration for us. As I indicated with the club fees plus we take our own alcohol. This is probably the cheapest route for us but add the extras in like meeting people off Swing Lifestyle for dinner and or drinks etc. and over a years time it can all really add up. I don't think it would keep us from participating in the lifestyle (unless we just really fell on hard times or something ) but it does make us think very carefully about how may times we go to the club and where we want to meet someone for dinner (taco bell anyone? )

Mrs Spoomonkey

[Thrax]

Originally Posted by Mrs Spoomonkey

taco bell anyone?

Ummmmm...I have several bags of Doritos (Nacho, spicy nacho, and cool ranch) and a variety of diet/regular caf/decaf soft drinks in a cooler...and I'll cover the gas money...

That would be in ADDITION to Taco Bell...

Yeah, I know, I'm the high roller and I'm en fuego!

Ouchie.

Thrax

[WildMiCouple]

For us, the money doesn't really play into the decision for us. We feel pretty fortunate in that respect. It's more about spending an evening/night together away from home.

Visiting the dances about once a month costs around $150 for room and drinks as we usually eat something lite at home before we leave. Seems we choose to play about half the time with others. So like you, LM, it costs us about the $300 for sex with others . Jeez......thanks for making me think about the sex for money....kinda cheapens it errrr you know what I mean

But I prefer to look at it as I'm going to enjoy some great everytime. Tammy and I always fuck that night after the dance and the morning before we leave the hotel. And about half the time there is another hottie or two thrown in. That's not always the case with two teenage girls at home.

Brett

[curious24]

I'll admit I didn't take the time to read all the replies but I did want to say that $300 is a bit much. Maybe it will work better if you talk to the couple you are going to meet about this before you meet? Maybe they have the same concerns as you do about cost?

Also, maybe you could look at it from a different point of view and say that you are having a weekend away to do other things. I know there has to be things to do other than to meet up for sex. Like shop, sight see, and other things to do where ever you might go to meet people. This way even if you don't play on the first meeting at let you had a nice weekend away and I'm sure you and your partner will have some fun. So in the end not all is lost.

Just my .02

[WesternSwing]

We really don't take the cost of swinging into consideration since we don't travel to play with people. Usually we'd incur costs like dinner or a club whether we were going out alone or with another couple. So these are costs directly related to swinging, but to going out in general. But, I can say that we do go out more then we ever used to and have rung-up quite a bill at restaurants, clubs, and bars in the past couple of years!

Mr. WS

[LICouple4u]

We have been lucky lately - we've only had to meet in a no tell motel once - we picked up the cost, the other couple will pick it up the next time we do that

In our case, it seems Grandma is absolutely loving having our kids spend the night and would do it every weekend if we let her! She was actually upset that we had no plans this weekend.

What she doesn't know is that we're spending the weekend doing some heavy duty cleaning so that we CAN start to host in our home, since the kids aren't here. We do live in a two-family home, but the others aren't related to us, so we don't really care. The gal upstairs is a single mom and we hear her with her boyfriends, so tough noogies lol.

We do have an on-premises club in our area, but we prefer private play without the worries of who else is there, having to fend off disrespectful people, etc. We have met some fantastic people there, had a little play, but then bring it to a private setting.

We only play with local couples. We're on Long Island, which is that thing that stick out on the map east of New York City . We have 3 clubs around here, without having to go into NYC. We prefer not to travel too far so we don't have that long drive home after a hot session - sometimes driving 10 miles home is tough enough

[meandher2go]

Thats a small price to pay for the kinda fun it brings. We have spent that and more on a good time with friends and would do it again in a heartbeat..

[Couple_N_Ark]

A very interesting question. In our case we prefer to go to an on premise club, the closest of which is 300 miles away.

Whenever we go we try to go so we can attend the club 3 nights, Thurs, Fri, & Sat. By the time you figure the costs involved we spend in excess of $1000.00 each time we go (2 or 3 times a year).....Gas, Food, Hotel, Club membership & nightly fees, spending money, new outfit or two, etc.

While we both have fun, Lisa by far gets more "action" out of the trip. The club we go to has what is called "hot wives night" on Thursdays, so she has alot of choices when it comes to single men, and you don't have to worry about them not showing up.

We'll normally hook up with a couple on Friday and Saturday Nights, but it is not uncommon for Lisa to have fun with an single man or two each night we are there.

If you really want to look at it like this I guess you could say we're paying a pretty good chunk of money to allow other men to have sex with Lisa.

Not complaining at all...as I said we both get tons of enjoyment out of everything that happens.