How Do You Communicate...

OhioCouple · 08-07-2002, 12:12 AM

"To Your Partner" as to whether or not it is a go with another couple or single?

TNT sorta brought this to mind in another post about cream or sugar vs black for coffee gave an indication of how sexual they were going to be.

To those that perhaps play with other members of the board, do not respond unless you want to change your strategy.

Our private message is to ask one or the other to scratch an itch on our backs. That is the sure sign that we DO NOT want to have any sexual involvement with whom we are with, and then we politely bow out.

Does anyone else have buzz words or tactics that they use to indicate to their partners that they have no interest or are you just flat out blunt?

Brian and Jo · 08-07-2002, 09:45 AM

The system we have used from time to time is to make discreet eye contact and signal our interest with one wink for "no" and two winks for "yes". If we disagreed that meant "no" as well because we would never party with another couple unless we both were in favour.

ciscosv · 08-07-2002, 10:30 AM

Although we have not been in a situation where we were deciding on yes or no to a couple, (as in a first encounter) we have been to house parties playing with some others. When it came about that one of us was uncomfortable, we would say it is time for a smoke break. No one would really know what that meant but us. We would politely excuse ourselves and step outside. We also use that when one of us just wants a few minutes alone together regardless of where we are.

CanadianCouple · 08-07-2002, 12:19 PM

This isn't an issue with us, since we never do anything sexually the first time we meet someone, nor do we decide during any subsequent meetings either. We meet, then discuss possible sexual activities with them during our private time at home.

But I do like your method of silent communication. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="wink.gif" />

Dan

Rhythm_Blues · 08-07-2002, 06:37 PM

My hubby and I never take anyone back with us after the first meeting and like to get together for dinner or a drink before we decide. The silent communication works great until hubby forgets whether its once squeeze of the knee or two. I like the idea of a key phrase. I am going to impliment that one asap

OhioCouple · 08-07-2002, 09:29 PM

Perhaps I should clarify my original intention of this post and include it to mean also those that you have repeatedly swung with.

Perhaps you are just not up to it or you or they have had too much to drink maybe they forgot to bathe that week :LOL:...whatever. I would think that everyone has a signal of some sort that communicates with their partner....NO WAY NO HOW IT JUST AIN'T GONNA HAPPEN!

**TNT** · 08-08-2002, 01:51 PM

We always discussed before hand privately if we want to play with someone or not, but in the middle of a situation that has turned not so good, a quick repeated squeeze of any part of the body lets the other know it's time to leave, get me out of here or like you said...NO WAY, NO HOW, lol. Since we are usually, constantly touching each other anyway, no one is the wiser.

Teresa

Sin D · 06-22-2004, 09:53 PM

We have two code-words that fit easily into conversation....one for yes....one for no....and nobody's the wiser. It's better that way, since we can let each other know early on how we feel, without anyone else knowing.

***JustAskJulie*** · 03-26-2008, 04:21 PM

I thought this was an interesting topic with some interesting responses. We have yet to set up a "signal" between us, but we have discussed it. Typically, we are at clubs where the music is loud and it's easy enough to whisper to each other and outright ask if we are both in.

Swingercast · 03-26-2008, 04:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JustAskJulie

Typically, we are at clubs where the music is loud and it's easy enough to whisper to each other and outright ask if we are both in.

Us too.

For a while we tried a holding hands technique.

Squeeze meant yes. Scratch the palm meant no. Doesn't work too well if you are naked on a pile though.

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08-07-2002, 12:12 AM	#1 (permalink)
OhioCouple Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Dec 2001 Posts: 6,616 Location: Ohio Status: Married Female	How Do You Communicate... "To Your Partner" as to whether or not it is a go with another couple or single? TNT sorta brought this to mind in another post about cream or sugar vs black for coffee gave an indication of how sexual they were going to be. To those that perhaps play with other members of the board, do not respond unless you want to change your strategy. Our private message is to ask one or the other to scratch an itch on our backs. That is the sure sign that we DO NOT want to have any sexual involvement with whom we are with, and then we politely bow out. Does anyone else have buzz words or tactics that they use to indicate to their partners that they have no interest or are you just flat out blunt? __________________ Remember that human beings are complicated creatures. We like our bedtime routines but dislike routine in our bed times. - Sallie Foley, M.S.W. Last edited by JustAskJulie : 06-22-2004 at 05:37 PM. Reason: to remove extranious tags

08-07-2002, 10:30 AM	#3 (permalink)
ciscosv Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Apr 2002 Posts: 750 Location: Redford, Michigan Status: Married Couple	Although we have not been in a situation where we were deciding on yes or no to a couple, (as in a first encounter) we have been to house parties playing with some others. When it came about that one of us was uncomfortable, we would say it is time for a smoke break. No one would really know what that meant but us. We would politely excuse ourselves and step outside. We also use that when one of us just wants a few minutes alone together regardless of where we are. __________________ M&M Melts in your mouth, not in your hand

08-07-2002, 09:29 PM	#6 (permalink)
OhioCouple Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Dec 2001 Posts: 6,616 Location: Ohio Status: Married Female	Perhaps I should clarify my original intention of this post and include it to mean also those that you have repeatedly swung with. Perhaps you are just not up to it or you or they have had too much to drink maybe they forgot to bathe that week :LOL:...whatever. I would think that everyone has a signal of some sort that communicates with their partner....NO WAY NO HOW IT JUST AIN'T GONNA HAPPEN! __________________ Remember that human beings are complicated creatures. We like our bedtime routines but dislike routine in our bed times. - Sallie Foley, M.S.W. Last edited by JustAskJulie : 06-22-2004 at 05:38 PM. Reason: to remove extranious tags

08-08-2002, 01:51 PM	#7 (permalink)
TNT Julie's Helper Join Date: Jul 2001 Posts: 4,191 Location: baker, fl, usa Status: couple SLS Name:tblonde312 Blog Entries: 31	We always discussed before hand privately if we want to play with someone or not, but in the middle of a situation that has turned not so good, a quick repeated squeeze of any part of the body lets the other know it's time to leave, get me out of here or like you said...NO WAY, NO HOW, lol. Since we are usually, constantly touching each other anyway, no one is the wiser. Teresa __________________ Ted and Teresa No lifetime is enough unless you live it in such a way as to make it enough.

08-07-2002, 09:45 AM	#2 (permalink)
Brian and Jo Brian and Jo Join Date: May 2002 Posts: 238 Location: Ontario Status: Couple Blog Entries: 3	The system we have used from time to time is to make discreet eye contact and signal our interest with one wink for "no" and two winks for "yes". If we disagreed that meant "no" as well because we would never party with another couple unless we both were in favour.

08-07-2002, 12:19 PM	#4 (permalink)
CanadianCouple Swingers Board Addict Join Date: May 2001 Posts: 1,139 Location: New Brunswick, Canada Status: Married Couple	This isn't an issue with us, since we never do anything sexually the first time we meet someone, nor do we decide during any subsequent meetings either. We meet, then discuss possible sexual activities with them during our private time at home. But I do like your method of silent communication. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="wink.gif" /> Dan

08-07-2002, 06:37 PM	#5 (permalink)
Rhythm_Blues Active Member Join Date: Aug 2002 Posts: 29 Location: Southwest Michigan	My hubby and I never take anyone back with us after the first meeting and like to get together for dinner or a drink before we decide. The silent communication works great until hubby forgets whether its once squeeze of the knee or two. I like the idea of a key phrase. I am going to impliment that one asap

06-22-2004, 09:53 PM	#8 (permalink)
Sin D Here to Stay Join Date: Sep 2002 Posts: 46 Location: U.P. MI Status: couple	Re: How Do You Communicate... We have two code-words that fit easily into conversation....one for yes....one for no....and nobody's the wiser. It's better that way, since we can let each other know early on how we feel, without anyone else knowing. __________________ And when you look into an abyss, the abyss also looks into you.

03-26-2008, 04:21 PM	#9 (permalink)
*JustAskJulie* Your Hostess Join Date: Nov 2002 Posts: 22,268 Location: Alabama Status: Female SLS Name:swingersboard Blog Entries: 59	Re: How Do You Communicate... I thought this was an interesting topic with some interesting responses. We have yet to set up a "signal" between us, but we have discussed it. Typically, we are at clubs where the music is loud and it's easy enough to whisper to each other and outright ask if we are both in.

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