Communication and sharing everything

[Gorgegon]

Hi,
Since swinging is about communication and sharing . We were thinking how good or bad are the couples in the swinging community at communicating and sharing everything.
My wife and I share everything. Material or not. For example we share with no problems whatsoever our cars, office space, business, books, magazines, food, money, checking accounts, (either of us can empty the accounts ), kids responsibilities, bills, even email, passwords... I can not think of anything that we are not willing to share, but the most important part is that we are very interested on sharing our thoughts, ideas, and sex fantasies. I will have to say that we probably talk every day for about two hours minimum (not necessarily about sex), yesterday we talked for 4 hours.
1) My question is do you share with your spouse 100 % of your material belongings ?
2) Do you share all your feelings and fantasies with your spouse? Do you hide something that you are not willing to share with your spouse?
3) How much time do you talk with spouse everyday ?
4) If you buy a ticket and win four million dollars in the lottery would you share you spouse two million?

[EvilMJ]

Well we share everything. except underwear..hey you gotta draw a line somewhere .

If one of us wins money or has a windfall, we share it 50/50...
I tell him all my fantasies...he tells me his...we try to make them happen
I work with my spouse, i have no choice but to talk to him everyday , but even if one of us is off, we still call each other just to say hi


There is nothing I won't share with my spouse, he is understanding and supportive, and I try to be the same with him. We agreed to go through life as partners and that's just what we do. Hey he even tells me when something isn't so flattering on me (and I don't even hurt him....much...kidding)

[dutch51]

Originally Posted by Gorgegon

Hi,
Since swinging is about communication and sharing . We were thinking how good or bad are the couples in the swinging community at communicating and sharing everything.
1) My question is do you share with your spouse 100 % of your material belongings ?
2) Do you share all your feelings and fantasies with your spouse? Do you hide something that you are not willing to share with your spouse?
3) How much time do you talk with spouse everyday ?
4) If you buy a ticket and win four million dollars in the lottery would you share you spouse two million?

Those are some good questions. We'll be interested to hear others' responses, but here are ours...

1. We do share our things, and sometimes that even includes clothing (outerwear, lol). While we do use words like "my" "his" "her" if it something that is geared towards one of our special individual hobbies, we know all we have to do is ask the other one to use something. We do that out of respect- I don't rummage through his tools; hubby doesn't rummage through my craft supplies. We don't think of having something that *only* belongs to one of us.

2. We don't hide things from each other. Now we may not have indepth discussions about something right away if it's something that we're still trying to sort out our feelings about it, but we let the other know there's something on our minds. And when we can sit down and talk about it at length, we do. We can read each other pretty well and are honest with each other, and think it would be counterproductive to the kind of relationship we have to hide things from each other. We don't lie to each other either. And if there's something we want to know about the other, we know all we have to do is ask and we'll get an honest answer.

3. Oh good word, we talk all the time! Hubby does have to go to work at some point, but when he's home, we talk or are together a lot. The conversations may vary depending on time of day and who's in the room with us, but one of the things we enjoy the most is being able to sit and talk about anything we want, no matter how serious or ridiculous it may be. We like to stay up late at night and talk too. We have such fun too- not like a lot of (non-swingers) couples we see who almost have to struggle to find something to talk about.

4. If only.... we'd love to win 4 million! It wouldn't even occur to us to split it in half- it'd be "look what WE won!" We'd buy the stuff we want for us and our family. Now all of a sudden I want to go buy a lottery ticket! lol

[freake2inva]

good topic - I think the most important thing is to share all the thoughts & feelings. We frequently discuss other partners and how it felt...etc. keeps things true

Hubby and I are best friends, he can even wear my panties if he wants to but I'm glad he doesnt! We talk about EVERYTHING. It is why I feel we dont just love each other after 13 years, we are still IN love with each other.

[northindycpl]

I feel as though I share everything with Mr. Indy. I have no issue making my life an open book for him, as I believe that is what marriage is all about. Material things aside, we have things that are our individually like his guitar or my nailpolish, but I think that is to be expected. My life is pretty simply, without a lot of things happening that feel I can't talk to him about. Pretty much I am comfortable discussing most everything with him.

I will say that he has a tendancy to try and solve issues for me, so certain things I just need to work through, I may not share-not because I don't want to, just because I want to solve my own issues. He is pretty good at knowing those times though, so I can talk to him and he will just listen.

I am unaware of Mr.Indys emails/passwords and I know that he doesn't speak to me about certain topics.

Anything involving swinging or things that have a direct effect on our marriage and family he does share.

[biblonde]

We share everything!! We also call each other during the day just to say HI and I love you. That is something we have always done. I never understood why people seem to think they need to hide stuff from their spouses. Even before we got into the lifestyle we shared our thoughts of the day ...things that happened to us at work or just out. Like getting flirted with or teased by someone. I truely believe in never do or say anything that you wouldnt infront of your spouse. I am a huge flirt and act the same in front of hubby as I do when he isnt there. It just isnt worth the trouble to try and hide stuff. He reads all IM's, Emails, and chatts I have and I read all of his. We dont always choose to read everything but it is always saved just incase we want to. And if it isnt something that can be saved we tell each other about it later. We also share our fantasies and wishes. Granted that is something that we are now more comfy doing and didnt always share that but now....we do. Everything in our house is about 50/50. Okay...he doesnt do dishes and I wont work on ANY car or house repair. But we share everything else...(not clothes...we aint that kinky..he he he) To us a totally open relationship makes us closer and truely happy and trusting with each other! I couldnt imagine trying to hide something from him and I think he feels the same way!!

[confunktion]

Originally Posted by Gorgegon

1) My question is do you share with your spouse 100 % of your material belongings ?
2) Do you share all your feelings and fantasies with your spouse? Do you hide something that you are not willing to share with your spouse?
3) How much time do you talk with spouse everyday ?
4) If you buy a ticket and win four million dollars in the lottery would you share you spouse two million?

1) Absolutely. However, we don't necessarily WANT 100% of the belongings...my 8-tracks do absolutely nothing for her, and I have no desire to wear her stilletos...except on Halloween, but I digress...
2) I believe that everyone has something that they keep close to their vest. Significant, insignificant, whatever - there's commonly something kept to yourself. I think that's one of the things that keeps me and the Mrs. from being assimilated into each other. We pride ourselves on being individuals who fit together wonderfully. What's more important is that we are able to tell each other the raw truth, no matter what it may be. We are open and honest with each other and always will be, but we'll always have that little sliver of ourselves that keeps us unique from each other.
3) We spend a ton of time together, and we're very big into conversation about this, that, and the other thing. Our topics can be spontaneous or well-conceived, but they usually last for a while, and can reappear at any time.
4) Once all of the debt is eliminated and the investments set up, the Mrs. can take the rest and do what she wants. I just gotta make sure that I get my allowance...

Mr. Funk
In a most funkadelic union with the Mrs.

[JustAskJulie]

Originally Posted by Gorgegon

1) My question is do you share with your spouse 100 % of your material belongings ?
2) Do you share all your feelings and fantasies with your spouse? Do you hide something that you are not willing to share with your spouse?
3) How much time do you talk with spouse everyday ?
4) If you buy a ticket and win four million dollars in the lottery would you share you spouse two million?

Yes, what's mine is his and vice versa. While both our names may not be on the titles and deeds to everything it is only because it's not logistically possible at the moment. Our bank accounts are joint, all the money goes into one and comes out of the same one to pay the bills.

Same thing with the feelings and emotions. It's not always easy but I do share everything with him. I try to do so as early as possible as we've learned that the longer you put off saying something the more it builds up and the more likely it is to cause strife.

There is not set amount of time that we talk every day, but if we need to talk we do, and often even if we don't need to talk we do. We talk about current events, what's on tv, what happened on the board, what happened at work, and what is going on in our minds/emotions.

If I won 4 million, I would share 4 million with my husband. If I win, he wins too.

[JustMrJ]

1.) The old saying goes... "What's hers is hers and what's mine is hers... "

This is not true for us... we share everything short of her 'special clothing' and 'feminine products'

But I understand the question. Funny thing is we both have the same shoe size (8 or 8½) and I have tried on a pair of her high heels at a party and walked the length of the house on a bet. They were quite comfortable... *cough* ... didn't hurt my feet.

2.) Yes, we talk about our feelings and fantasies on a variety of subjects. Feelings on some, fantasies on others. As far as I know she doesn't hide any from me and I have no reason to believe otherwise. By the same token, I don't hide any feelings or fantasies from her. (Even as twisted as some of them are from each of us... )

3.) We spend nearly every waking moment, not to mention sleeping moment together. We would spend even more if we were not required to work for a living. She's my best friend first and we often find ourselves thinking the same things or finishing each other's sentences.

4.) Hell yes! We could both retire!!! (Taxes get $2 million ) Well, okay, not retire, but we could really enjoy our vacations a lot more and we could easily pay off our debts (drop in the bucket with that kind of money). I can say I would probably keep working and she could too if she wants too. I think there is something to be said for a certain amount of time apart. This way you have a chance to 'catch up' on the day with your spouse.

[CXXC]

1) My question is do you share with your spouse 100 % of your material belongings ?
Mrs. CXXC and I have separate offices within our home. She keeps her "Special" belongings in her office as I keep my special belongings in mine. It is not that we dont chare these things, but we like to keep certain items separate. We may be a united and complete couple but we are also individuals.

2) Do you share all your feelings and fantasies with your spouse? Do you hide something that you are not willing to share with your spouse?
I share everything with Mrs. CXXC in regards to feelings and fantasies. Sometimes I share too much. SHe shares with me, but I am certain she tempers it.

3) How much time do you talk with spouse everyday ?
Unfortunately, our schedules do not permit us to spend too much time talking with each other every day. However, when we do have the time, we spend a great deal of time catching up on each others day. We try to eat one meal a day together. It is in that time that we get to have our conversations.


4) If you buy a ticket and win four million dollars in the lottery would you share you spouse two million?
Like most of our accounts, we would share this equally.

[NCfuncouple98]

Originally Posted by Gorgegon

Hi,
Since swinging is about communication and sharing . We were thinking how good or bad are the couples in the swinging community at communicating and sharing everything.
My wife and I share everything. Material or not. For example we share with no problems whatsoever our cars, office space, business, books, magazines, food, money, checking accounts, (either of us can empty the accounts ), kids responsibilities, bills, even email, passwords... I can not think of anything that we are not willing to share, but the most important part is that we are very interested on sharing our thoughts, ideas, and sex fantasies. I will have to say that we probably talk every day for about two hours minimum (not necessarily about sex), yesterday we talked for 4 hours.
1) My question is do you share with your spouse 100 % of your material belongings ?
2) Do you share all your feelings and fantasies with your spouse? Do you hide something that you are not willing to share with your spouse?
3) How much time do you talk with spouse everyday ?
4) If you buy a ticket and win four million dollars in the lottery would you share you spouse two million?

1. Yes, 100% of material belongings. Well, ok, 90%. He has some boxes in the garage of his "stuff" from childhood. Memories, special things. I don't touch those. I too have similar boxes, more of our children's keepsakes. It's not that we don't share, but we respect enough that somethings "belong" to one or the other. But as far as finances, yes absolute 100%. The only separation is 2 separate credit cards, with very small limits. I pay his bill, but never question what he uses it for. This is so he can "surprise" me without me knowing the finite details. But our checking account belongs to both.

2. Yes, we share everything. We went through an experience 6 months ago of not sharing everything, mostly on me. He will tell you he knew what was going on, and let me take the rope and run with it, to see what I would do. Since then, we are even closer, and we share it all, no holds barred.

3. Wow, we can't get through a day without 25 conversations. Recently his job turned into a daycare, where now no cell phones are allowed, no texting, etc, and if you need to make a call use the office phone. This has just killed us, as we would text minor things all day long, and stay in constant communication. Hopefully the owner of the daycare will grow up oon.

4. Nope, wouldn't share 2 million. Would share ALL of it together. We've done the struggle of "who makes more" over the years, and found that with my brain and computer skills, it's easy for me to make a better paycheck without trying. He, on the other hand, has to use physical skills and absolutely destroy his body fixing cars day in and day out. If you all don't realize it, please appreciate your mechanic when you find a good one. Cause they are 100% commission. When he ain't busy, his thumb is up his ass while he sits at a shop all day long waiting for work. (Oh, and can't even text his wife when he has nothing to do!) And he's the most honest mechanic you would ever meet. But it's feast or famine. Busy shop = good paycheck. Dead shop = no paycheck. It's so hard on him.

So if I were smart enough to remember to buy a lottery ticket with our money, and we won $4 million, then we would have $4 million (less taxes) to share.

We were so dead broke and both divorced when we got together, struggling hard. So when we did get together, we made the decision then that we would share all. I know many couples that keep separate accounts, successfully, but most of them were financially set when they met.

What works for one doesn't work for all.

PS - the 2 things off limits for us? He will not touch my purse, it's how he was raised and I love that respect! And in return, I would never look in his wallet. Those are the 2 things that we feel are personal. Not hiding anything, but they are just personal.

[warrencouple]

1. We do share pretty much everything, but we're also both respectful enough of each other to not presume it is OK to borrow something. If she needs a screwdriver, she'll often ask if she can borrow one from my toolkit, and I'll keep my hands off her scrapbooking stuff. The computer room is my domain, although she has a desk in here, it's mostly covered in assorted stuff (a friends old motherboard / CPU, some of her craft stuff, random pc stuff) which isn't a big problem, as she only uses a laptop anymore.

2. Oh yes, we do share our fantasies, and feelings. I seem to be the big fantasizer in the relationship, but she does tell me hers. There's nothing I can think of that we keep from each other (b-day / x-mas / valentines presents, but that's different) The only thing I seem to have a hard time bringing up with her is sexual things. I still have a hard time asking for a blowjob, and it took me almost a week to bring up the idea of swinging.

3. We do talk, although some days more than others. We often seem to read each others minds, sometimes on the not too important stuff (honey, lets go to Outback for dinner tonight. I was just thinking that!) other times on the important stuff.

4. If we won $4 million, why would I need to give her half? We won. Now, scratch off tickets (very rare) winning $5, or winning $50 in an online contest (Dodge over X-mas), small amounts are the winners to do with as they will. She once won $100 (I believe) through a site, it was her money. Bonuses through work, well, those can sometimes be a bit of a sore point. I often have ideas well in advance of what I might do with mine (and a good idea what it might be from the previous year,) and it's often gone the day I get it (or sooner.) She tends to sit on hers, debate what to get, never really find anything, then we might need a couple extra $$ for groceries one week, and there goes $20-30 of her bonus, then the next week, we're out of cat food, and need it now, and there goes another $20, and a couple weeks later, she's got nothing of her bonus left. She's started getting hers as VISA gift cards from our credit union, so it doesn't sit in any of the bank accounts, and so isn't as easy to do that with anymore.

We both work together, although in different departments, and so we only tend to see each other at work either in passing, or on lunch or break. We're both believers in the work ethic, so we tend to keep our conversations at work, work related. We'll e-mail back and forth, but we don't spend time chatting that we should be working. I can e-mail her while not interrupting what I'm doing (ever try to walk an older lady through getting to a web page?)

Sometimes, we'll do the "you go and have fun, I'll stay home" thing, maybe I'll go out and shoot 9 holes, or she'll pick up one of her friends and go see a chick flick, or a movie I don't really want to see. We don't "smother" each other.

Jason