TM |
|
|
You are currently viewing our site as a guest which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our free community you will have access to post topics, reply without moderation, communicate privately with other members (PM), upload content and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely FREE so please, join our community today! If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact contact us. If you are simply looking for a site to place and browse personal ads then please check out one of the other great personal ads sites Listed Here |
| |||||||
| Swingers Ads | Swinger Pics | Swinger Stories | Shopping | Featured Swingers | Swingers Clubs | Swinger Advice | Dictionary | FAQs | Swinger Links |
| Forums | Blogs | Search | Today's Posts | Mark Forums Read | Register |
| General Swingers Stuff Forum for all things swinger related. If it doesn't fit in one of the other swinger related forums, then post it here. |
This is a discussion on Soft Swinging within the General Swingers Stuff forums, part of the Swingers Topics category; Just found this response in another thread: Originally Posted by flassh I read an article by a swinging couple that ...
![]() ![]() |
| | LinkBack | Thread Tools | Display Modes |
| | #1 (permalink) | |
| Your Hostess Join Date: Nov 2002 Posts: 22,307 Location: Alabama Status: Female SLS Name:swingersboard Blog Entries: 59 | Just found this response in another thread: Quote:
I'd like to know how they came to that conclusion? Was it by interviewing many swinging couples who had started by soft-swinging? Was it because they started as soft-swingers themselves and it didnt' work for them? Different things work for different people, and it's been a while since we had a good discussion on the merits of soft-swinging. So what do you think are the pros and cons of soft swinging? IF you are a soft-swinging couple, why did you choose to do that rather than full swap? Do you think you will ever full swap? If you are a full-swap couple, did you start off soft-swinging? Would you ever soft-swing in the right situation? Do you think that soft-swinging creates more problems/ jealousy than full-swap? What are your reasons for NOT choosing to soft-swing? Last edited by JustAskJulie : 04-03-2005 at 05:42 PM. | |
| | |
| | #2 (permalink) |
| Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 161 Location: Illinois Status: M. Female | I guess I just don't see how soft swinging would necessarily create MORE jealousy than full swap? I'd like to see this article too or at least hear why it would be more of an issue in soft swinging. I don't think it DOESN'T happen in soft swinging - jealousy can happen in any situation and will most likely happen MORE with people who are insecure. |
| | |
| | #3 (permalink) | |
| Julie's Helper Join Date: Jul 2001 Posts: 4,196 Location: baker, fl, usa Status: couple SLS Name:tblonde312 Blog Entries: 31 | Quote:
We didn't start out as soft-swing and to us, we really don't understand it. We figured that if we were comfortable enough to soft-swing than we were definitely comfortable enough to full-swap. We have soft-swung on one occasion (everything but intercourse) with a couple that were new and it was what they were comfortable with. It was a less than satisfying encounter for us, although not a bad experience, just less than what we were/are used to. I don't really see how soft-swinging would/could cause more problems than full-swap, but like I said, we don't really understand it. Teresa
__________________ Ted and Teresa No lifetime is enough unless you live it in such a way as to make it enough. | |
| | |
| | #4 (permalink) |
| Here to Stay Join Date: Nov 2003 Posts: 60 Location: Kansas Status: Couple | We're soft swingers, and I don't understand the quote at all. MORE jealousy? It doesn't make any sense to me. We decided to be soft swingers because that's what works for us, period. Its not a sense of insecurity, and its not a knock against the full swappers. Its only what WE decided would work for us as a couple. We like the idea of being able to reserve a certain special something just for the two of us. Now, that being said, I will also say that if and to the extent that we may ever decide to become full swappers (and again that'll only be after WE as a couple decide its the right time) that I really think we'll both be fine with it. Neither of us has any problem whatsoever with people who full swap - whatever works for them as a couple is fine with us and more power to them. Who knows, though. Like I said, for right now what we're doing, and what we're limiting ourselves too, is working out just fine. |
| | |
| | #5 (permalink) |
| Mod Squad Member Join Date: Jul 2002 Posts: 6,420 Location: Reno, Nevada Status: Married to Mrs Good Times SLS Name:randp | Dito what TNT said, we really don't understand it either. I guess we started out with soft swing, allthough we didn't know that was what it was at the time. This was with some Vanilla friends and we decided it wasn't fullfilling enough and wanted to take it further to full swap, that is how we got into swinging. We have met a quite a few more people who soft swing that seemed to have issues of one sort or another than people who are into full swap. But I don't think it was the soft swinging that caused the issues rather than they just had issues to begin with, and by sticking to soft swing it would make the issues they had less of a problem.
__________________ R (He is R, she is P) |
| | |
| | #7 (permalink) |
| Here to Stay Join Date: Feb 2004 Posts: 57 Location: San Diego Status: Couple | Ok, I could not find the correct web link. But I am pretty sure it was a web site that was discussing the writings of Ed Allen and Dana Allen, which have written some nice books on the swinging world. To paraphrase very loosely: Soft swinging was discouraged because of the potentional for leaving alot of feelings on the table at the end of the night. Outright full swap and direct interaction with multiple couples seemed to indicate a point at which all the taboos and false feelings become meaningless to the participants. It would be like going au-natural for the first time. ie...a little timid and scarred and not sure how one will feel etc etc....but after about 5-10 minutes the nudity becomes a non-issue. So, in the analogy that one is having sex within the full swap they are leaving their emotions and fears in the past and find out that it is pretty much for fun and social enjoyment and not a big deal with breaking up the love of two committed people who now are sexual outside of their marriage partner. Again, I am not responding to what full swap means to me personally but only relaying what was stated by others...I think the sentiments of the soft swing is more harmful does appear to be truthful for what we have experienced and the reality of soft swing is that it may be good for those who simply want to have fun but not go further. That is fair. But in terms of the feelings and fears and emotions, one might argue that the fun of sex is in the head anyways so the physical may not be what this topic is about ultimately. Hmm.. |
| | |
| | #8 (permalink) |
| Your Hostess Join Date: Nov 2002 Posts: 22,307 Location: Alabama Status: Female SLS Name:swingersboard Blog Entries: 59 | We've been talking a lot lately about things that may create more drama and I just ran across this old thread and I thought I'd put it back out there and see what some of you think about the idea that perhaps soft swinging creates or leads to more drama.... The only thing I can think of is that maybe a higher percentage of those who soft-swing are newbies and therefore not really ready yet to begin with. |
| | |
| | #9 (permalink) |
| Here to Stay Join Date: Mar 2002 Posts: 82 Location: Detroit, Michigan Status: Male half of couple SLS Name:jandcmi28 | Our first two experiences were soft-swap. The advantage, as we saw it at the time, was that if it left us wanting more without feeling jealous, uneasy, etc. afterward then we could go ahead and think about going full-swap. It's sort of like when you move in with someone before you marry them; you want to make sure that it will work out before you go any further. And if it doesn't you can cut your losses and run with minimal damage done. ![]() As far as drama goes, I can't imagine how it could cause more than full-swap. A couple that we know is pretty much breaking up because of their swinging shenanigans. They were full-swap and were never soft-swap.
__________________ How can you expect to come to our party when you don't bring a dish of your own? Last edited by JandCMI : 03-26-2008 at 05:58 PM. Reason: This was my 69th post! |
| | |
| | #10 (permalink) |
| Active Member | Here goes from a newbie point of view. Again, newbies here... ![]() We were at a club where we were enjoying each other, another couple was beside us also enjoying themselves. There was some touching, maybe a little stroking but we never concentrated on the other couple and vice versa, to us that was extremely sexy and made the experience very erotic. Is that soft swap? We have since talked about it many times and it makes us both randy pretty quickly. We are interested in something similar happening again, but realize (or assume, and we know what happens when you assume) that most couples are looking for full swap. I guess it was an experience that enhanced our sexual pleasure. I cannot see any jealousy issues arising from that sort of play, but I guess you never know. Insecure people will become jealous at the most minute things. Jim & Rebecca |
| | |
| | #11 (permalink) | |
| Your Hostess Join Date: Nov 2002 Posts: 22,307 Location: Alabama Status: Female SLS Name:swingersboard Blog Entries: 59 | Quote:
What you described would fall in the category of soft-swinging (sex in the same room with another couple). There are actually LOTS of other couples out there who never move past soft-swinging (of some sort or another). Soft-swinging, however, encompasses a pretty broad variety of activities. Everything from just sex in the same room with another couple (no touching even) all the way up to anything short of Full-Swap (including exchanging partners for foreplay and oral sex but not for actual intercourse). Good luck & Welcome to the board! | |
| | |
| | #12 (permalink) |
| Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Sep 2002 Posts: 102 Location: South Jersey Status: Couple | I think that soft swinging may be a great intro to full swinging. I know it gave us an opportunity to explore feelings that we may not have expected. It actually helped open up the lines of communication so that we were better able to move forward.
__________________ E and L I know love and lust don't always keep the same company. |
| | |
| | #14 (permalink) |
| Mmmmm...tasty! | While I understand why some couples start off with soft swap, I'm as bewildered as TNT about couples whoe are soft swap long-term. Now, we have done soft swap with a few couples, as they were new and that's what they were comfortable with. They eventually went full swap. We have met one long-term soft swap couple and have never played with them. We don't see much point. Pepper
__________________ "Swinging is a lot like riding a Harley, ...for those who understand, no explanation is necessary; for those who don't, no explanation is possible." --Mr. Alura |
| | |
| | #15 (permalink) |
| Being good is overrated Join Date: Sep 2007 Posts: 2,934 Location: Poconos, PA Status: The boss of Mr. Sweet SLS Name:Sweet_tna | We started off full swap, but have played with soft-swap only couples. I know a lot of full swap couples aren't content with that, but Mr. Sweet and I march to the beat of a different drummer. You've gotta' do what works for you. =)
__________________ I'd rather go to hell for doing something I enjoyed than die wondering what it's like. |
| | |
![]() ![]() |
| Thread Tools | |
| Display Modes | |
| |
Similar Threads | ||||
| Thread | Thread Starter | Forum | Replies | Last Post |
| soft swinging | carolinachic | General Swingers Stuff | 5 | 04-22-2008 01:37 PM |
| What do you think is soft swinging? | NandTfromCA | Soft Swinging | 18 | 07-04-2006 02:32 AM |
| Will we go from soft swinging to full swap? | curious_in_ont | Soft Swinging | 13 | 11-14-2004 08:23 PM |
| What is soft swinging? | Sam | Soft Swinging | 20 | 02-01-2001 06:56 PM |