What are people saying about you?

[LikeMinds321]

We went to our second club last weekend, a very different experience than the first club we visited back in February.

This time we danced with many people, got more involved physically, and after the ballroom closed we went upstairs to the hotel hosptitality suites to watch what people do there. Kinda slow, very dark, stale cheese cubes and crackers, and apple slices floating in water. Finally some FFF play got started in near darkness and all I could think about was how I wished I could see better.

I was relieved when a lovely gal we met that night came over and whispered in my ear that we were invited to so-and-so's suite. We followed her like good puppies to the happening place. Candles were burning on every table and the fragrance was divine. There were naked people everywhere! Three couples on the queen bed, two couples on the love seat, a couple using a craddle swing-a-ma-thing, a couple on some electric cock saddle machine that became VERY loud, another couple using a chair, and then about six couples standing around watching. The little room was packed! And for so many people, strangely quiet. I didn't expect group sex to be so quiet.

Here were all these people who I knew were club buddies. They had been sitting around the sames tables all night downstairs, had danced together, enganged in mild sexual activites with each other.

As I watched them I thought these swinger friends, who may not even know each other's last names, must each have a reputation. I wondered what are they known for? Who gives the best head, who cums the loudest, who has the biggest cock? Who is the nicest guy, the sweetest gal...and on and on.

I wondered what kind of reputation I would develop if I became a clubee?

For those of you who regularly attend a club, do you know what kind of reputation you have? Do you feel it is accurate? Would you like it changed? How does it hurt/help your play?

LM

[Spoomonkey]

Originally Posted by LikeMinds321

For those of you who regularly attend a club, do you know what kind of reputation you have? Do you feel it is accurate? Would you like it changed? How does it hurt/help your play?

We've thought about this... Mostly because we notice that some folks can be a bit cliquish - and the first couple that we attended a club with, tended to sit alone at a table, defend their "ownership" of us and tell us all the reasons why we didn't want to be with every couple in the building...

Blah!

As you might guess, we are no longer friends with this couple...

We talk to anyone and everyone. It is just our nature to be friendly with people, I guess. Sometimes, they get the wrong impression and ask us to play (which is certainly acceptable, but anytime you have to say "no" it can be awkward). Because of that, we've wondered if we should limit of social interaction to people with whom we'd consider playing... But - honestly - that just isn't us... We couldn't do it... We start laughing and cutting up with folks and always have a great time...

But - we also know that there are people who like to make themselves look better by making others look worse... So we assume that couple we first sat with, probably sits with a new couple every now and then and tells them that they shouldn't play with us because we play with everyone (which is true, but only in the pool room ).

I don't know, reputations are easy to come by and often undeserved. We go out for us and us alone - we've had great experiences and we've made wonderful friends (play or not) and we wouldn't have it any other way. I wonder what my reputation is, but I wouldn't change the way I treat people just to fit in with the folks who sit around and create "reputations"...

Spoomonkey

[Close Encounters]

Originally Posted by Spoomonkey

I wonder what my reputation is, but I wouldn't change the way I treat people just to fit in with the folks who sit around and create "reputations"...

Spoomonkey

"Dance like nobody's watching; love like you've never been hurt. Sing like nobody's listening; live like it's heaven on earth." (Mark Twain)

[eagleindep]

Couldn't have put it better myself than what spoomonkey just did...I never meet a stranger.. always have fun with the people around me weather we would do anything or not.. hate to say not for now... but just the way I am...eagle

[TNT]

Originally Posted by Close Encounters

"Dance like nobody's watching; love like you've never been hurt. Sing like nobody's listening; live like it's heaven on earth." (Mark Twain)

And that's why we have so much fun !

We probably have reputations that make us wilder than we really are but we really don't care. Our signature line says it all.

TNT

[wrnakedru]

We first began going to one club during the summer months. There was one couple that we found very attractive, but at the same time, felt a bit intimidated about just opening a conversation with them. To us, they seemed so much more "comfortable" or "adept" than we felt ... so we felt sure we probably wouldn't be interesting to them.

Halloween rolled around and the club was packed that night. It tends to be a swinger favorite for sure - and with good reason. I think that often when we are in costume, we don't find ourselves held back by the confining self-conscious threads that normally bind us. I was dressed as a cop [in thigh high high-heeled boots with the shirt and hat portions of the uniform, and also had on mirrored glass sunglasses, so I felt almost "incognito"] and hubby was in convict clothes.

About an hour into the evening, the female half of our long-admired couple just swooped me onto the dance floor, literally. [I hadn't realized how much taller she was than me.] She confessed that she had had just enough "liquid courage" to do so. It developed they had the same impression regarding us as we did regarding them. And yet we were both very new. And both feeling very strong attraction to the other.

We have laughed about that many times since then but I think we all learned something from it too. Besides the "nothing ventured, nothing gained" obvious lesson. And that is: your impressions [despite your reliance on your gut instincts] can often be quite wrong. You are operating in a different arena, after all, so your acquired rules governing assessments of others need to go out the window.

In the same way you would wish for others to get to know you prior to neatly pigeon-holing who you are and what you're about - - you need to provide that same leeway to others. Give yourself the opportunity to form your own opinion, don't take the word of others who may [like Spoo's ex-friends] have their own agendas that heavily color their opinions, and don't wipe anyone off your list based on one exposure in a club atmosphere. Everyone can have a "bad" night, and who knows what external pressures can be working on someone on any given night.

The very first night we went to this same club, a couple who lives on this same side of town struck up a conversation with us. He was very conversational and friendly, but she was just flat out drunk as a skunk. Our bartender told us that this was quite unusual for her - that she hadn't seen the lady like that before. So even though we certainly didn't accept their invitation for after-hours fun that night, we didn't wipe them off our list, due to what the bartender had advised.

Well, even bartenders can be wrong! Every time we have EVER seen this couple, the lady has been within firing range of that level of drunk. We have teased the bartender for her misinformation. She adamantly holds to it having been true up until that night. We have all agreed that perhaps the lady had come to the idea she could have more fun if she drank more so that is now her "modus operandi". And maybe that DOES work better for her - - just not with us!!

Point is, though, that you're not ever going to please everyone, or be everyone's idea of the perfect swing partner. You could only make yourself crazy trying to be all things to all people. You and your hubby are in this to please yourselves and one another. So just be who you are - - like Spoo said - - and to heck with whatever is said by those who don't find that their cup of tea. If they are going to be bound by what others may tell them, that is unfortunate.

Hopefully, all will at some point come to the realization that we have to avail ourselves of the opportunities that arise in order to form our own opinions and have them be valid ones.

WR

[mrs good times]

Spoomonkey said it best!

We go to the club almost every Friday and we love to meet people whether we have intentions of playing with them or not. We have made some great friends and truly enjoy that most swingers are very open minded and less judgemental on average.

I have never considered what my reputation might be because I don't really care. We are there to have fun, dance, talk, mingle and enjoy each other first. If we meet someone we are compatible with, great, but not the end of the world if we don't.

[VegasLee]

The day that I start wondering what people at the club think about me is the day I stop going. Same as in my day to day life. Most people that have something to say about me would never say it to my face so what they think and say means nothing.


I know there is people that don't like me, mostly the ones that don't know me and others that we love to be around. I am a very plain, out spoken person. I say it as I see it and I keep life simple. Many/most can not deal with that in todays world. I live by common sense and there does not seem to be much of that around either.

We live our life for us without infringing on others. That is what life is about to us.

[LikeMinds321]

I think I've been misunderstood here.

I wasn't suggesting anyone be concerned about what others think. I was merely interested in learning how a person's reputation plays a role in their club experience.

Also, reputations don't have to be negative. The ones I mentioned were all positive.

LM

[Avantgarden38]

We have noticed that reputations can happen quickly and often unexpectedly.

When we find a couple we like we tend to hang out with just them quite a bit. Our rather large circle of swinger friends understand this behavior and we have a "reputation" of being very selective and conservative. We still attend quite a few swinger events with our favorite couple and have hosted many parties. Usually we don't have much sex at the swinger events, but take our swing couple home later that night. It seems this reputation has made us very "interesting" to our circle of friends. I would suppose it is the "wanting what you can't have" kind of effect.

Anyway, one night at a swing party we were co-hosting, my swing partner (for over a year) and I were playing in one of the rooms, after some time the room became very crowded and distracting. Since we had been playing for a while we decided to take a break and move to a different room. It seemed every time we moved to a different room it became crowded with people. We continued to take breaks and move through the house to explore the different rooms as they became available. This went on all night, but we were having so much fun we hardly noticed the passage of time and how much sex we were actually having. Well, it seems everyone else did and it looked like we were fucking like crazy all over the house!

Much later that night while my swing partner and I were relaxing in the hot tub, a young newbie couple approached us. He went on to say how much they enjoyed watching us and said: "Dude, you were like a . . . a. . . a machine."

Needless to say now my nickname at swing events is "The Machine". I suppose a worse reputation could be had.

[WesternSwing]

Our reputation seems to be as the couple to have at your party to liven it up. Both my bride and I our outgoing people and talk and flirt with everyone. We didn't really know this until we started getting invites to parties that said something along the lines of "we heard from others you're a fun couple, we'd like to you to come to our party."

It's not being known for the biggest dick, best tits, etc., but hey, it's a start!

Mr. WS

[JustAskJulie]

Most of you know (and if you didn't you do now) that I used to run an amateur site. With that, for several years in a row, I went to various porn webmaster conventions. The first one I went to was in NO. These conventions typically consist of nightly parties at various places, and the trade show and seminars during the day. The first day we arrived I had a huge headache to the point that I almost skipped out of that night's party. We went anyway, and I had a couple of drinks. After a couple of my usual, my headache was still lingering and I ordered one of the house drinks (which consisted of a lot of several kinds of rum). I downed the first one and my headache was gone. I started on the second one and I didn't remember finishing it, or much else.

Needless to say, the next evening we were sitting downstairs at the same restaurant/club (restaurant downstairs, club upstairs) having dinner as people were starting to come in for that night's party upstairs. Several people stopped to say hello to me and tell me that they had heard about the night before. My reputation from that week has followed me to just about every convention I've been to since. I know exactly what they are saying about me....LOL.

A night I'll never remember and a night I'll never be allowed to forget.... It's also the night I evidently gave my panties to some guy in the bar.... at least that's what my husband told me the next morning when I asked him where they were.

[cpl4playmass]

"Mr. Thick!"....... I'm not kidding..... better than something else I suppose

[JustAskJulie]

This is an interesting topic, one that has come up for us recently. At our local socials we have yet to play with anyone. The couple of times opportunties have been offered the timing just wasn't good. So we wonder if we are developing a bad rep because of it... or becoming known as the ones who don't play. Funny at other socials/clubs in other areas that we visit, we end up playing with someone about 75% of the time. I don't know if it's just the way it works out, or that we are more comfortable playing when it's not in our backyard. We've played with only a couple of local couples and it hasn't been in connection to a social/party/club. However, I do remember when we first met one of them we were at a social and had gone upstairs to an area where it was quiet enough to actually converse (as opposed to downstairs where the music was so loud). A few people came through the area where we were sitting (including the host); there were 5 or 6 of us up there and we never did anything more than flirt. However, for some reason the host got the idea that much more was going on up there - just because we had gone to a more private area - even though he had walked through and seen nothing going on. He later made a comment to me that implied that he thought we were having sex up there or something.

Looking back at my earlier post in this thread it's interesting to think that perhaps my "reputation" has gone from one extreme to the other. From the girl who gets the party started, to the couple who doesn't party.... and in either case, neither rep is really accurate.

[CXXC]

It is not really my nature to worry aobut a reputation in the LS or among my vanilla friends. Work is a totally different situation. But! In the LS I do have a fear that Mrs. CXXC and I may be gaining a reputation as TOO PICKY or Fakes. Let me explain:

We work such Horribly conflicting schedules that we often have to bow out of invitations to events and parties. Those we meet on line and befreind are often discouraged by our inability to meet with them due to our schedules.

YEs, we have some really nice certifications, but anyone can create an account and post a certification for themselves. I fear that they make us look too picky when compared to our abiltiy to meet.

I am certain that those who have written our certifications are frustrated by our inability to meet with them.

The most we can do now is to try to stay in touch, let them know that we WISH we had the time and hope for an opening in the future.