What are Your Reasons for Swinging

[UKsexycouple]

1. wife
2. loves porn and wanted to try a threesome
3. wife is a nymph and is insatiable and watched porn since very young - she wanted it as much as i!
4. She found out she is bi and I found out how much I love seeing her take multiple guys on
5. FMF one night MFM the next two nights (2 different guys on holiday)
6. wanted a couple as quickly as possible
7. She is my wife NOT my slave (well she has a fantasy...) but she can fuck who she likes. She is having a (shy) young couple tonight who are thinking of including me later. I will get my fun tommorrow when she tells me what happened and we shag like bunnies....and she gets me girls as she loves watching me with them before joining in.
8. both of us wish we had started earlier!

I think women love sex more than men BUT religion and society say "bad girl/stay with one guy/have babies to make new religious indoctrinated followers"

Get rid of that and non-swingers would be considered "odd"

[cubnamy1995]

We like to have sex with lots of different people.

[sweet_tna]

1. Who initiated the conversation? I did, upon learning close friends of ours were swingers, and Mr. Sweet told them, "That's great for you, but Mrs. Sweet would never go for it."
2. What reason(s) were given for wanting to swing? I needed a reason?!?
3. Were those reason(s) TOTALLY honest? (i.e. it was for "her" fantasy when really and truly it was his) It was something we both wanted, but Mr. Sweet assumed (incorrectly) that I'd never consider it.
4. What was the initial reaction of the s/o? Shocked, but thrilled
5. How did you start out? (soft swing, threesome (mmf or fmf) MFM as part of a foursome. The other Mrs. joined in after a bit, and we went full.
6. What were your (both of you) feelings afterwards? When can we do this again?
7. How do you (or do you) share the control of the lifestyle? Interesting way to phrase the question . . . "control of the lifestyle" . . . For the most part, I make the decisions, but never without Mr. Sweet being on board.
8. How have your attitudes and/or misgivings changed? I'm way more self confident than I used to be (as is Mr. Sweet), and I/we tend to be more selective about those with whom we spend our time.

=)

[cubnamy1995]

Originally Posted by skeghed

So - anyway - the questions.....

1. Who initiated the conversation?
2. What reason(s) were given for wanting to swing?
3. Were those reason(s) TOTALLY honest? (i.e. it was for "her" fantasy when really and truly it was his)
4. What was the initial reaction of the s/o?
5. How did you start out? (soft swing, threesome (mmf or fmf)
6. What were your (both of you) feelings afterwards?
7. How do you (or do you) share the control of the lifestyle?
8. How have your attitudes and/or misgivings changed?

Whoops. I didn't know there were questions.

1) Hubby
2) To better explore her bi-sexuality in a way he could participate
3) Yes
4) Curiosity
5) MFM
6) Him: Wow this is cool Her: Still curious
7) She calls the shots, I have veto power
8) What once seemed like a very big deal has now become just a really cool and fun recreational activity where we get to have a "dirty little secret" that nobody knows about.

[pervgeeks]

Originally Posted by skeghed

So - anyway - the questions.....

1. Who initiated the conversation?
2. What reason(s) were given for wanting to swing?
3. Were those reason(s) TOTALLY honest? (i.e. it was for "her" fantasy when really and truly it was his)
4. What was the initial reaction of the s/o?
5. How did you start out? (soft swing, threesome (mmf or fmf)
6. What were your (both of you) feelings afterwards?
7. How do you (or do you) share the control of the lifestyle?
8. How have your attitudes and/or misgivings changed?

1. I did (the wife).

2. I (the wife) had a very vanilla first marriage and feelings toward women I couldn't explore. I had MFF experiences as a single woman after he and I divorced. I came into my current relationship very open about my bisexuality. We were completely monogamous for almost three years, married, and then began to explore the lifestyle together.

3. They were very honest.

4. He was turned on.

5. We were soft at first. We were mainly into the idea of of a MFF threesome at first in theory, but as someone who had been in the situation of being a single woman, I not only knew not only how difficult it was to find, but how vulnerable it felt to be a single woman and I was very cautious. We had a lot of discussions and decided it would be better to be with couples as we wanted someone with their own emotional base at home. Our first experience together was soft swap with a couple.

6. I wasn't sure how I'd react to the idea of him with another woman, but it turns out I was turned on- a lot. Not long after, we did fullswap. We have only fullswapped with one couple so far, but that will likely change in a few days.

7. After our first session, both turned on and wanting more, but a little confused. We both enjoyed the female a lot, but the male's personality quirks dampered it too much. They (especially him) also got a little clingy. Our second experience was much better.

8. I (again,, the wife) handle 99.99% of our online correspondence, but at parties, he's quite outgoing and charming. Before we approach a couple, we confer with the other. We have learned to never take one for the team.

9. We did not think we'd fullswap, but we're such horndogs and when we're turned on, we don't want to limit ourselves- so we decided not to. I thought he would be more jealous of other men. However, we've learned not to play with couples with pushy guys and the more "chill" the other man is, the more we are comfortable and the more I will do with him. If the man is respectful to me, he's fine with it (he's always been fine with me and the ladies lol). We stay on the same page. We like fullswap, but we don't like it if people expect it from us. We are both very secure in the fact we can both separate sex and love and know it's each other that we love.

[des1re06]

So - anyway - the questions.....

1. Who initiated the conversation? I (wife) did

2. What reason(s) were given for wanting to swing? "Honey, how do you feel about another woman joining us in bed?"

3. Were those reason(s) TOTALLY honest? (i.e. it was for "her" fantasy when really and truly it was his) Yes, totally. I'm very bi, and have been since pre-puberty. This is not something new to me.

4. What was the initial reaction of the s/o? "Wow, I've died and gone to heaven!"

5. How did you start out? (soft swing, threesome (mmf or fmf) Couple, but only FF to begin with, then she asked if she could have hubby. I said, "sure!" I gave her hubby a BJ.

6. What were your (both of you) feelings afterwards? Let's do this again!

7. How do you (or do you) share the control of the lifestyle? He's pickier, so I have to wait for him to find the right match. He needs to feel attraction more than me. For me, it's f*cking.

8. How have your attitudes and/or misgivings changed? Definately! We're constantly evolving into better swingers. Too many uncertainties in the beginning led to too many rules.
Mrs. D

[sexychinese]

The first time for us was a swingers club in which we paired with a good couple who only wanted oral and playing.....so s good way to start and raise the curiosity

[tankman101]

1. Who initiated the conversation?

My wife (tira)

2. What reason(s) were given for wanting to swing?

Basically, sexual exploration. Before we got married, I had several other relationships but I was the first my wife had ever been with.

3. Were those reason(s) TOTALLY honest? (i.e. it was for "her" fantasy when really and truly it was his)

Yes

4. What was the initial reaction of the s/o?

I blew my stack. I didn't really understand why she would suggest that. I didn't really know anything about swinging. We have been happily married for 15 years with 3 kids and an active sex life. I am very sexually driven and fairly open minded and once talked about it and I researched it, I understood what it was actually about.
I had to face some very ugly parts of myself. Over the 15 years my sexual self confidence had eroded away and I was scared of everything, being to over weight, to old, penis to small (one doesn't whip out his fully working equipment in front of other people very often lol), jealousy and really just about every other crazy insecurity you could think of.

5. How did you start out? (soft swing, threesome (mmf or fmf)

Full swing with another couple we have known for awhile and are good friends. We found out about them being swingers after we initially talked about it. We were very lucky to have friends who were already into swinging that we were able to approach.

6. What were your (both of you) feelings afterwards?

After all of my worrying, we had a wonderful time. It felt completely natural and comfortable. We were both shocked in a way that there was no resulting conflict, jealousy, moral torment or really anything else just raw love for each other. We were very lucky that we had some great friends to share this with.

7. How do you (or do you) share the control of the lifestyle?

We talk about everything together. Neither one of us really makes any final decissions.

8. How have your attitudes and/or misgivings changed?

Our relationship is closer then ever before. After 15 years we are like to dating teenagers again. Our sex life, although good before, has gotten incredible. I actually need to ask for days off.
Everything I worried about disappeared in an instant. My sexual confidence has returned and our relationship is stronger then ever.
The couple we started with are still friends. Some weekends we get together with the kids, (theirs and ours make 6 total, talk about chaos) some weekends with other vanilla friends and some are for the four of us.
We are very lucky.

[northgacpl]

I don't know if I can really answer those questions, as the whole thing just kinda happened...

Prior to our first time we had watched porn together here and there, but that was it. Then one night, while in the military, another guy was over at our house and we got along really well with him. He had been over several times before. After a long night of drinking and just having lots of fun things just kinda happened.

She really enjoyed it, and after leaving the military, we talked about it again a few years later...Tried first meeting couples, just one thing after another and it didn't seem to be going anywhere, so we started looking for singles and met this great guy that we played with for a few years. Then we all moved on different directions, and a few years later she's really got this thing for black men now, so we've played with one a few times.

Maybe we're not considered 'full blown swingers' so our experience/reason is a lot different...

[bbarnsworth]

Originally Posted by northgacpl

Maybe we're not considered 'full blown swingers' so our experience/reason is a lot different...

I don't think there's any scoring system here If you feel you're swingers, you are. Certainly sounds to me like you are!

[Hotwallabies]

Our reasons for exploring swinging are as follows:


1. Sex is good and fun. We figured if sexis good and fun with us surely it could be just as fun or more with a few more people involved.

2. Swinging is a reasonably safe way to explore our fantasies toghether/

3. Swinging was the best way we could figure for my wife to be able to explore her bi-sexuality.

4. We feel like being open and honest with our sexual needs and desires and finding out good ways to get those needs and desires met for both of us is important in our relatonship and swinging helps us to achieve this in our marriage.

5. Swinging is something for us to explore and do together which is completely and uniquely ours. Once you become parents you forfeit almost everything which is yours to do jsut toghether. Swinging gives us a time which is a "secret" just for us. This secret is so fun to share between just us and nobody else. This secret binds us in a way we never expected.

6. We grew up in a super religious setting which repressed our sexuality and swinging gives us an outlet for exploring sexuality for ourselves instead of having someone do the thinking about our sexuality for us.


There are probably many other reasons I could list if we both thought about it for awhile but these are probably the biggest reasons for us.

[Chitowndk4u]

Originally Posted by skeghed;41631.

Who initiated the conversation?
2. What reason(s) were given for wanting to swing?
3. Were those reason(s) TOTALLY honest? (i.e. it was for "her" fantasy when really and truly it was his)
4. What was the initial reaction of the s/o?
5. How did you start out? (soft swing, threesome (mmf or fmf)
6. What were your (both of you) feelings afterwards?
7. How do you (or do you) share the control of the lifestyle?
8. How have your attitudes and/or misgivings changed?

1. Who initiated the conversation? I did.

2. What reason(s) were given for wanting to swing? Because I have an open mind and liberated attitude towards sex and I have always had the attitude of a swinger as I thought it was hot and a cool lifestyle to live.

3. Were those reason(s) TOTALLY honest? (i.e. it was for "her" fantasy when really and truly it was his) Yes as far as I know they were honest, but I admit it is a fantasy of mine to be totally free and open.

4. What was the initial reaction of the s/o? Her usual stance of no we can't do that, but then when she has a threesome away from me (that she is ashamed about, but I am not honestly), we met a couple and hit it off with them and had a nice swap and she feels bad about it now, but I think it's more because she enjoyed it and her religious upbringing tells her (or she thinks it tells her) that she shouldn't enjoy those things.

5. How did you start out? (soft swing, threesome (mmf or fmf) FMF threesome on my 29th birthday.

6. What were your (both of you) feelings afterwards? Me: Cool, Her: Cool then years later shame from her.

7. How do you (or do you) share the control of the lifestyle? We don't. We don't participate anymore (although I would like to)

8. How have your attitudes and/or misgivings changed? Mine haven't, hers has due to religious guilt tripping.

[couplers]

1. Who initiated the conversation ?

I did, (male), during the very beginning of our relationship to see her reaction. She was not shocked or nauseated but interested in finding out more details. It took a couple of years to do anything and the first few encounters were not too good because I was trying to relive a past lifestyle instead of creating a new one.

2. What reason(s) were given for wanting to swing?
Mutual sexual exploration to expand our experiences and have really unusual and fun memories and fantasy fullfillment.

3. Were those reason(s) TOTALLY honest? (i.e. it was for "her" fantasy when really and truly it was his)
It was a mutual fantasy. She had planned on keeping it in the fantasy land but after considerable discussion decided to make fantasy a reality.
4. What was the initial reaction of the s/o?
Aprehensive, but wanting more information.
6. What were your (both of you) feelings afterwards?
We both enjoyed our first MMF but had problems when other females came into the pic. Other females are still on a very limited basis.
7. How do you (or do you) share the control of the lifestyle?
I let her control it baically. She goes slower than I do so I would be pushy if I pressured for more activity. I don't mind the infrequency of our playtime though. Its still fun even if you do it once or twice a year.
8. How have your attitudes and/or misgivings changed?
I have learned a lot about my s/o. Discussing sharing such intimacy forced us to really discuss issues such as trust and honesty. I have never trusted anyone as much as I do Tam. She says she feels the same about me. I honestly feel that swinging has been an asset to our communication skills and opened doors that would have never been seen without it. We also learned a lot about each others limits, pleasures, fantasies, as well as love making preferences. John.[/QUOTE]

[Trace Ekies]

1. Who initiated the conversation?
Mr. Ekies.

2. What reason(s) were given for wanting to swing?
Sounds like fun.

3. Were those reason(s) TOTALLY honest? (i.e. it was for "her" fantasy when really and truly it was his)
Yes

4. What was the initial reaction of the s/o?
Hmmm...That does sound like fun.

5. How did you start out? (soft swing, threesome (mmf or fmf)
Full swap with four other people.

6. What were your (both of you) feelings afterwards?
We were both excited but wanted to be sure the other was as well
so we eased into a conversation about our feelings and found out we felt
the same.

7. How do you (or do you) share the control of the lifestyle?
It a group effort. Pun intended

8. How have your attitudes and/or misgivings changed?
The most startling thing we learned is how hard it is to find four people
who want to have sex together.

Now we find ourselves meeting people and making friends and occasionally taking them to bed with us. It's been an awesome journey so far with no forseeable end that we thank each other for.

Trace

[crazinred]

1. Who initiated the conversation?
Male half many different time through the years.
2. What reason(s) were given for wanting to swing?
A way to keep us together. Best friends but not best sex play mates.
3. Were those reason(s) TOTALLY honest? (i.e. it was for "her" fantasy when really and truly it was his)
Her sex drive far exceded my sexual ability (even before the ED)so this way we could both have all the sex we wanted.
4. What was the initial reaction of the s/o?
She couldn't beleive I would be ok with her being with other men.
5. How did you start out? (soft swing, threesome (mmf or fmf)
Threesome at a swinger club with a single male.
6. What were your (both of you) feelings afterwards?
Had a great time couldn't wait to do it again
7. How do you (or do you) share the control of the lifestyle?
Pretty much takes is as it goes. Mostly play at a local club and only real rule is we play together.
8. How have your attitudes and/or misgivings changed?
She has a much better attitude about her self I am much more comfortable around our new freinds. Can't beleive it took so long(17 years) to get started in this lifestyle.