What are Your Reasons for Swinging

[EvilMJ]

My hubby and I have only had one swing experiance (since we were married). However we both have some interesting pasts as far as sexual experiences, and both seem to be very open concerning sex. The reason we decided to look into the lifestyle was for a little bit of variety. We love each other very much and have a wonderful marriage, but I wanted to do something to keep the spark lit for us, and strangely enough it did help.

I am definately not his first, and he is definately not mine, we just like to have fun, and it gives us both a chance to live out some of our fantasies.

And it was something we both agreed to after a lot of talk, and we were both comfortable with (which I think is necessary!!)

3 simple letters sum it up for us: FUN

[jim-n-nicole]

Fun, to create some great stories we can whisper to each other as we make love, and to ensure we don't end up in a rest home thinking "you know, I should've done wilder things when I was younger!".

We haven't analyzed it a whole lot. We just agree that when it stops being fun for either of us, we will eliminate it from our life. But for now, we really enjoy it.

Jim.

you only live once. and if you do it right, once is enough!!!

[mrsbandsatl]

I agree - it's FUN. When we first started out we analyzed it quite a bit and then realized we were doing the analyzing too much!

If it stops being fun, or he becomes the only old man I want to see naked - or I become the only old lady he wants to see naked, then it will be time to stop!

[mrs good times]

We started swinging to fulfill fantasies however like you I had lots of experience and Mr. had only been with three women before me so I think this may have increased his need to fulfill the fantasy more than me but I enjoy it as much as he does.

[DavidandJess]

We're interested in swinging because it's something neither one of us have done..... it's been a fantasy of his to see me with another woman and the more I thought about it, the more I liked the thought of him being with another female, too! I'm quite a bit more experienced than he is as well, and this is something we can share that is a totally new experience for both of us.... just the talking about it and reading about it, then talking about what we've read is enough to get us excited....

J

[duwannaball]

One of the reasons we are interested in swinging is because of my desire to gain more experience with other women and sow my oats. The other reason is it looks like a whole lot of fun and Mrs. Duwannaball is a little bi-curious.

She did say I could go solo because she is not sure she would enjoy watching me with another women. I explained to her we should try it together first, and if it doesn't work than maybe solo, but I'm afraid it might create resentment. So we are planing to go to either go to a club for her birthday in Oct. or go to the Reno meet-up.

Brings up an interesting question, do you think it's possible to sow my oats with my wife, or will I have to go solo? Any advice will be appreciated.

Butch

[good times]

Originally Posted by duwannaball

So we are planing to go to either go to a club for her birthday in Oct. or go to the Reno meet-up. Butch

Hi Butch,

You can do both if you would like, the Reno meet up is on Saturday night. If you get into town on Friday we will be going to the couples party at the Riviera Lounge Friday night and would be happy to introduce you around.

[WesternSwing]

We got into it mostly for Mrs. WS to explore her sexuality. Although she had lovers before me, she was raised in a very religious household so the sex was pretty vanilla. I on the other hand was raised in a very open household and sex has never been vanilla. <EG> With me she started shedding some of those conservative feelings about sex and how it's done. In the year before we got into the lifestyle we had discussed fantasies of adding another person or couple to our sex life, but that was all it really was. Then one night at a rather wild and half-naked party she kissed a girl and here we are today! She kind of found where she "fit", and it wasn't the uber-conservative, guilt-ridden life she grew-up in. So things rather naturally progressed into it. Swinging found us more than we pursued swinging.

Mr. WS

[Candy&Cane]

Thank you all! It's pretty clear now it's all about the fun and living out a fantasy.. (but if it's for the fantasy, why the lifestyle?)

But now it's a bit hard to really explain my thoughts in a different language.. So if I seem a bit harsh, I'm sorry...

I don't really understand how 'fun' can be the primary reason.. It's a risky big step to go swinging, and nearly all of you found that the fun was more important than the risks involved (thats what I read in it)? Isn't it primarily to keep growing, as individuals, and also the growth of the relationship. (I really need dutch words here, sorry ). Whats the deeper reason?-it can't be 'just fun'?

So many couples want to have fun, and share fantasies, but what was the reason to really go for it? Forinstance, take a couple I know; He had a great longing for being dominated.. his wife could do it to so far, but only soft. She felt she was holding him back; she couldn't fulfill his longings, so they decided to swing. I have the same feeling (although different); I dont want to hold him back, think it's not fair that i've had so many experiences with different people, and he 'only' had me..(well, ONLY is a lot already.. ). I have very submissive feelings, so swinging can also be an answer for me..
Still, it's risky, but I'm hanging on, as I believe in our (very important) communicative skills, and love for eachother. I'm going for it, because I believe our relationship will grow only stronger, and the both of us even happier (yes, on the long run because of the fun too)..

the female part -again-; Jess
-proofreading by the male part

[good times]

Originally Posted by 2Gether

Whats the deeper reason?-it can't be 'just fun'?

Sure it can, let me give you an unrelated example. I love to fly aerobatics, but flying an airplane upside down within inches of the ground is dangerous, in fact, I've lost several good friends that made an error and hit the ground resulting in their death. But flying aerobatics is the most fun you can have with your clothes on, in my opinion, so I do it anyway.

Back to the topic of this post, sex is the most fun we can have with our clothes off, sex with my wife is a lot of fun, so adding sex with others and fulfilling some fantasies is even more fun to us. I, for one, don't have any deeper reasons.

[tazzie_n_truck]

For us we would have to say the reasons we got into swinging was for a couple reasons.

1. Some friends of ours who are swingers got us interested in it.
2. Our sex life was hitting a dull patch where it seemed to get routine and sex wasn't as exciting as it had been and we needed something to spice things up.
3. It was our chance to act out on some fantasies of ours.
4. Most importantly we wanted to have FUN!!!

[519Couple]

I'm not sure "fun" is the right word, for us at least.

Sex is a wonderful, sensuous, life-affirming experience, and the sex we have together is terrific. But there are something like 5 billion other people in the world with different personalities, body types, ideas, etc. Why chose to limit your potential sexual experiences to being with just one other person when there are so many other people our there who might turn you on in new and deliciously exciting ways? Wasn't there a line from a movie that goes something like "why stick to just vanilla when there is chocolate, strawberry, fudge ripple, and so many other different flavours to choose from"?

That's the appeal for us.

[cpl4playmass]

For us it was the expansion of our sexual selves, and FUN!! We knew we had to work through the emotional part of doing this first though.

Since Jealousy and insecurity are two top ten issues for couples, we knew they could come up. We actually got through it quite well. After having a dozen or so encounters now and a year to absorb it all, we are closer, more loving, and more sexual!!

[Candy&Cane]

Thank you so much for all your replies .. We find it very interesting, and usefull in someway!

J+O