Gangbang Dropouts Question

[JaneAndJohnDoe]

Hi guys,

I'm hoping you can help shed some light on a weird problem we've seen crop up on one of the adult personals boards we frequent.

OK, here's the situation...

We've seen a rash of posts lately. These posts are from women who want to organize a gang bang in their local area. It is either organized by the woman, or by her man who wants to screen the applicants.

Over and over again, the post is initiated, and a large number of guys will eagerly pop up and announce that they would love to be involved in said gang bang.

Ultimately, the thread dies off and no gang bang is ever actually organized.

Now, when this happens, I always assumed that the original organizer had backed out and changed their minds. But, as it turns out, this is actually not what seems to be happening.

I spoke with a guy who had actually attempted, on 4 separate occasions, to organize a gang bang fantasy for his own girfriend. His experience with this attempt really surprised me, and I was wondering if any of you could help me speculate as to why these experiences seem all too common.

Here's what happened with my friend...

After trying to organize gang bangs on 4 separate occasions, he has given up on the idea because none of them ever worked out in the end.

Each time, he and his girlfriend actively communicated with each and every interested person. Since neither he nor his girlfriend were "Ken seekers", they didn't discriminate based on age, looks, or weight issues. All they were looking for was a group of men who were respectful and considerate.

In the end, they communicated with at least 30 men in a 2 week period prior to the event. For each event, at least 15 stated they were going to be there. They were all given the date/time/location and the location was paid for out of the couple's pocket. Here were the stats on exactly what happened for each of the 4 events.

Event #1: One person showed up, then left within 10 minutes because "he was uncomfortable about the lady's man staying in the room"

Event #2: Two men showed up, had sex for 5 minutes, and immediately and abruptly left.

Event #3: No one showed up

Event #4: One guy showed up, and they had a great time.

I should add that the lady in this situation is absolutely drop-dead gorgeous. She's in her early 20's, and has a healthy and mature sexuality.

So, based on my friend's experience, I would say that there are two possible reasons organized gang bangs have trouble getting off the ground.

One is the organizer isn't serious, is just fishing for compliments, or just gets off on making men slather for his woman.

The second reason is that a large number of the men who "apply for the position" get cold feet, and shy away from the fantasy becoming a reality. Or, they just get off on the idea of it, rather than the reality of it.

What are your thoughts on this?

[Chip_n_Muffy]

In my opinion, most of the respondents are probably married guys that can't think of a good excuse to get out of the house on a saturday night! Same with the respondents to MFM ads. There is an awful lot of BS out there on the net, with BSer's attached. That is where certifications might come in handy on the adult sites. Just my 2 cents (half an ounce of gasolene) worth.

Chip

[JnCC]

Third possible reason; "The more you charge, the more it's worth"

When a guy feels like anybody could fuck a particular woman, or like everybody has fucked a particular woman, she loses whatever appeal she may have held for him in the first place. It doesn't matter what she looks like. It doesn't even matter if she's actually done it. The fact that she's so "cheap" or easily attainable tends to kill whatever desire we might have otherwise had for her.

It's one of the reasons I don't pursue single women who are listed on "adult" websites.

It's also one of the reasons I wouldn't cross the street to join a gang-bang, even if Paris Hilton were the Guest-of-Honor.

At my high school reunion some years ago, I was in a room with 4-5 of the guys I used to run around with, and a woman who was known "back in the day" as being something of a "Football Team-follower." In high school, I desperately wanted to "do" this woman but never had the chance. Even in her late-30's, she wasn't bad looking. She was attending the reunion alone, having been recently-divorced.

As the evening wore on, she flirted with all of us as a group, and with each of us individually at some time or another. Then, around 1 in the morning, she laid down on the bed with her already-too-short skirt hiked up, and her legs slightly apart. I swear to God, if there was EVER a woman who was ready to "take on the room," it was her, right then and there.

Not one guy touched her all night long. (I think one guy went over and copped a feel, but that was about all) She finally got up around 2 or 3 and left the room, and wasn't seen again for the rest of the weekend.

I felt so badly for her. I thought what a terrible humiliation it must be for a woman to offer men sex without strings or committment, and have them "pass" on the offer.

(I learned recently that she had passed of ovarian cancer, and felt badly for her all over again)

The only explaination I can offer for the fact that not one of the 5 of us took her up on her offer is that it was just too easy. As men, we all like sex. But I think we all need to feel it comes after at least a little bit of effort.

Apparently, I'm not alone in my feelings.

[good times]

I once saw an interview of a woman who specialized in gang bang porn videos. She said she had the same problem and they would often have a small percentage of the guys who contacted them actually show up and they actually paid the guys.

I think JNCC may be on to something with his idea because I can say that the idea really doesn't appeal to me for the reasons he stated. Half the fun and excitement is knowing that the woman wants or desires you. In a gang bang it seems like that is missing to me, any dick will do.

[slowluvr65]

I'll say I have been invited to four GangBangs. So far every one of them has been cancelled due to lack of interest. I was fortunate on one occasion that I was not notified of the cancellation. So here I was at the door of the surprised, disappointed couple. So I got to meet an incredibly hot woman and her husband. No GangBang, but a lot of fun ensued. So I can't say I missed the GangBang, but its still on my "to do" list of experiences. The point is, I am a (legitimately single) guy who will show up. After I've had the opportunity to do one, I'll see if its something I wish to pursue more ferverently. I have found that I enjoy how women get in an MFM and that I don't shy away with another guy in the room. And folks, that is why I am here on this site looking for more.

[edmustang]

Obviously I wasn't there, JnCC, but I wonder if maybe:

1. She seemed to be in a bad place emotionally, and no one wanted to take advantage of her? or

2. Something that sounds too good to be true usually is, or

3. Gang bang newbies need some time to get used to the idea and can't just jump right in.

I, personally, would not be put off by "cheap" or easily attainable...I would just want to be sure that it's something she wouldn't regret doing in the morning.

As to the arranged bangs...I have never been invited, but if I say I'll show...then I'll show, even though I'd be very nervous about it. Maybe a lot of others don't feel that way. Maybe most of them were married and couldn't find and excuse to be gone for a few hours? I have seen ads for gangbangs, and I'm glad that some of them are actually real events. (see number 2 above)

[WesternSwing]

Originally Posted by JaneAndJohnDoe

The second reason is that a large number of the men who "apply for the position" get cold feet, and shy away from the fantasy becoming a reality. Or, they just get off on the idea of it, rather than the reality of it.

Yup, that's it. A single guy friend of ours has been to several gang bangs and he has said, "to get 5 guys to show up, invite 50." Every one he's ever been a part of turned out exactly like one of the scenarios you've described above.

I think for 1) allot of these guys are married and looking for some side-nookie, but at the last moment can't get out of the house, and 2) many get cold feet. The idea of having sex with a woman is grand, but to do it after three other guys turns-out to be a turn-off because they don't want their dick being where another one has, they are feeling too much competition, or having sex while be watched by five others is just too much pressure. It's just too much for their ego/masculinity to handle. A case of the reality being more then they can handle.

Mr. WS

[WesternSwing]

Originally Posted by JnCC

When a guy feels like anybody could fuck a particular woman, or like everybody has fucked a particular woman, she loses whatever appeal she may have held for him in the first place. It doesn't matter what she looks like. It doesn't even matter if she's actually done it. The fact that she's so "cheap" or easily attainable tends to kill whatever desire we might have otherwise had for her.

The male double-standard at work, eh?

The easily attainable is something we see with single guys sometimes. They want to meet Mrs. WS, but not with me. They want to feel like it's a conquest over the husband, kind of like "he's not doing it for her so she's seeing me. I'm the better man, the alpha-male" type of thing. It's all about stroking their ego, and obtaining the unobtainable is the ultimate male ego stroke. When hubby is there, there is no conquest, they're not the alpha-male, they're not "special" as you pointed out. Or at least that is the way they see it. In our eyes it's the other way around. They are special or they wouldn't be invited to be there with us.

Mr. WS

[JustAskJulie]

a gangbang was one of my early fantasies and one that I tried several times to fulfill. The first time I will be honest and say I did screen based on looks (and looks alone). Come on, if I'm not attracted to a guy (and if the first time I'm meeting them is the night of the gb the only measure of attractiveness I will have IS looks then I'm not going to be turned on by them). That first time I had 5 who were supposed to show and 1 showed up.

The one I finally managed to make happen I had 5 guys show up and all but 1 were guys I had previously met and gotten to know (and they me).

From everyone I've ever talked to what you described and what I experienced is the norm. The general stat is that for every guy you want to show at a GB, you need to invite at least 4 more (1 in 5 will show up).

I think a lot of comes from guys being more turned on by the fantasy of a gb than by the actual idea of it. When they really consider it what arrives in their mind is the idea that they not only have to be naked in a room full of guys but they have to perform as well.

Another issue is that the woman/couple planning the gangbang would be helped by setting it up with a couple of other women who will be there just to be "fluffers", get the guys hard and keep them hard until it's "their turn". In reality the girl being banged can only occupy so many guys at once, so if there are other girls to keep the others occupied that will help.

[fun4Ds]

there is a couple in our state who organize this a lot. yes they are known swingers.there are 2 ladies involved primarly, but they allow any females.their requirements are simple... major cream pies... they film everything but the guys faces if asked not to.they have taken this to a very succesfull buisness level.selling the movies. we dont pertain but i have personaly talked to the husband because im known for my( large load) their stats are invite 100 and get 5

[WonderWhat]

Hmmm...

Apart from the married men sneaking out of the house (the two guys who had a quickie and fled), maybe many men are wary of too much testosterone in a crowd.

Case in point: we've got the gangbang fantasy, but we're wary of setting it up because of the safety factor. We'd need to get hold of several guys whom we trust and who are comfortable with each other too.

We haven't been swinging enough to get to this point yet, but we'ere sure we'll get there eventually. It would be nice to go on a vacation with a close-knit group of swinging friends and letting each of the ladies have their gangbang night. facelick

[SamuiCouple]

Maybe stage fright? A lot of men are afraid they may not be able to perform in front of a group of men.

How about trying to find a few bi men for the gangbang instead? They probably won't have too many issues....

[JnCC]

Originally Posted by edmustang

Obviously I wasn't there, JnCC, but I wonder if maybe:

1. She seemed to be in a bad place emotionally, and no one wanted to take advantage of her?

Could be...but it's been my experience that most guys won't hesitate to take advantage of a reasonably attractive woman just because she's in a "bad place, emotionally." Hell, that's when they're easiest to get...

Something that sounds too good to be true usually is?

Or maybe what sounds good at first, doesn't sound so good after you think about it for a few minutes. We were having a hoot reminiscing. Maybe some of us thought that we'd tag her later, after the party died down a bit. She left between 2 and 3...we were still whooping it up when the sun came up around 6.

Gang bang newbies need some time to get used to the idea and can't just jump right in.

Very true, but I think somebody could have invited her back to their room for a few minutes, and popped her there. I couldn't, because my wife was in my room, pissed off at me for having such a good time with my buddies. (Memo to self - Think seriously about taking your wife to high school reunions. They like to think that before you met them, you had no life.)

I, personally, would not be put off by "cheap" or easily attainable...I would just want to be sure that it's something she wouldn't regret doing in the morning.

That's how I am now, but in my 30's, I didn't care how they felt the next day. I figured that we "All have our own crosses to bear" and left it at that.

Nope...I think the reason I didn't fuck "Beverly" that night, was because after 20 years, I finally could.

It's probably the same for gang-bangs.

[Tybee Swing]

Originally Posted by JaneAndJohnDoe

Event #1: One person showed up, then left within 10 minutes because "he was uncomfortable about the lady's man staying in the room"

Event #2: Two men showed up, had sex for 5 minutes, and immediately and abruptly left.

What are your thoughts on this?

To me, it sounds like Event #1 guy had no clue about the Lifestyle and how things work, even in a MFM situation, let alone a gangbang situation (expecting to be left alone with her). He needs to read this site and get a clue!

Event #2 guys sound like either the married-sneaking-out types, or else they were there only to get their rocks off, and run. Perhaps after that, there was absolutely no reason to stay, and anything after that just felt awkward? Not there for quality sex, but just to get off and go.

[JaneAndJohnDoe]

Originally Posted by Chip_n_Muffy

In my opinion, most of the respondents are probably married guys that can't think of a good excuse to get out of the house on a saturday night!

I think you're probably right about that one, Chip.