Do you mix your swinger and vanilla friendships?

[frenzb4sex]

A funny thing happened on the way to the forum......

We almost never used to mix vanilla and swing or involve anything of the "vertical" world, as we call it. But, we had been talking to a couple that had children around our children's ages and they asked about meeting up sometime for a bar-b-q just for a social event. Well, we thought, what the heck---so we did. The time had by all was great--we hit if off with them very well. The casual flirting lead to some hidden touches, and then whilst the kids were playing we were able to dart off for a just a few seconds for some quick pecks.....until, when myself and the other female were in the kitchen engaging in a quick kiss, and from behind we hear my six year old.."Don't you KISS my DADDY!!!" Imagine the horror in both of our faces as we turned around.

Now THAT was a good one to explain....I need to go into politics after that one....

*whew*

Safe to say, we NEVER even APPROACHED mixing that again.

*full body chill*

Tim

[JustAskJulie]

We did it once or twice and it ended up leading to some awkward situations. Of course, a lot depends on the situation and the people involved.

[wrnakedru]

We have found that when mixing the two, it is normally those of the "vanilla" category who will ask the question of "so how do you know these people?". It is best therefore for your "non-vanilla" friends to have an answer ready for that.

We have always utilized the rather generic response of "we were introduced by mutual friends" and found that it is usually enough to satisfy the questioner. They don't normally pursue it to discover the 'where and when' details of it - in fact, I don't think we've ever even been asked the identity of the mutual friends.

[BradAndJanet]

You know, WR, we just say, "We met them on an Internet chat board." We've found that nobody raises an eyebrow about that anymore.

-B

[chickadiva]

Ours are definitely mixed, but that's because our closest swing friends (basically a poly relationship) is my best girlfriend of ten years and her partner. We finally came "out" to each other in the past year and it's been great ever since (see, you NEVER know what secrets your friends hold!!). However all of us- both couples - are very close with some other vanilla friends who know nothing of this side of our lives so it gets tricky at times, reminding the guys not to get too frisky or intimate with us in front of the vanillas. The danger comes because even within the vanillas everyone is very flirty and open...just not THAT open, LOL. I am waiting for a vanilla GF to tell me my man was fondling my other GF or something, LOL.

We have also become good friends with some couples we met through swinging and we created backstories to explain the friendships, since the rest of our "group" knows each other so well it makes it tough to have new friends with out their knowledge, etc.

We realize one day there will be an "oops" and we'll have to deal with it. We came close last fall when a vanilla husband overheard part of a cell phone conversation between us and the swing GF and commented "what are you all doing, arranging a swap or something?". I almost died..because we were! Luckily I was wearing dark sunglasses so he couldn't read my eyes!!

Mixing the friends keeps you on your toes if nothing else!

[guddygirl_2only]

Originally Posted by fun_couple

Just curious, how may of you mix your swing friends with non swing friends? Do you go for a sunday dinner with your kids to swing friends houses... or vacatios, (disney world etc...)& have a "normal relationship" or do you keep the 2 separate? Just curious? I wonder how many keep your playfriends for strictly partying alone, (without kids) or actually having a normal friendship & play when the kids aren't around... we have some new friends, that want to become "normal" friends as well, and have invited us & our kids for dinner at there house on a few occasions, My only concern, is my very noisy 15year old.


What are your thoughts on this?

WELL...we have both types of friends...who either side are not trying to "convert" each other. We know our boundries. Matter of fact, one couple who is a common friend "vanilla"--they watch our daughter on occasion so we can go out and play. That is awesome!!

We can still talk to our more common friends about everyday life--have luch or dinner as family and whatnot...all with out concerns or pressure. It really shouldn't be that hard if you "vanilla" friends are true friends to begin with!

Afterall, they don't know about your lifestyle preferences unless something slips in conversation or you willingly admit to swinging.

Just a thought!

Guddygirl

ps..we still have friendly--nonsexual cookouts and movie night with our lifestyle friends as well....our kids like to play with each other---not perverted--as we all get along very well!