Going out with Vanilla Friends...worried

[VanHlebar]

Well MrsVan and I got a invite from a group of folks that we have known for years, mostly through my son's soccer team and then a few others from other sports and activities.

A year ago this would have been great. We would have gone out with them in a heart beat and had a blast. Now I am not so sure. Most of the group sees me for a huge flirt so I think I will be just fine even if I do have a bit too much to drink. MrsVan on the other hand, they only know her as a very shy and reserved person. Add to the mix that there are a few husbands/wives that well we find attractive...

We are planning on going but I think I will be so reserved that it might be difficult to have fun. The last thing I need is for this group to see the real MR & Mrs Van.

Well we plan on going to the Club tomorrow night so maybe we will get all of our "freaky" behavior out before we go out Saturday night...

-Van

[Danny Zuko]

Hey Van,

Bad Sandy and I have faced the same thing. Bad Sandy reminds me that flirting too much with Vanilla friends can make me look unfaithful to her. Of course this is not the case but they don't know it.

My recommendation is to always flirt in front of your wife. Don't be too agressive but have fun. We have actually discovered a few vanilla friends who are not so vanilla. We break the ice by talking about Hedo and then getting into our hot tub.

Good luck,

Danny.

[ohash01]

Don't worry about it. At J.'s and my age, we're still going out every weekend...sometimes with other swingers, but a lot of times it's with a group of vanilla friends. He is flirty-naught with his friends, and I am flirty-naughty with my friends, and both groups of them think that's just "how we are". We are also very sure to "be together" when with them. What I mean by that is, it's very obvious to anyone who cares to look, that there is no jealousy, no anger, and lots and lots of love. I don't think either of us cheating has crossed anyone's mind.

But it wouldn't hurt to be sure you have LOTS of fun at the club

[TNT]

Ummmm, some advice from someone who has been known on occasion to drink a bit much in vanilla settings and then letting her mouth say things it really shouldn't :rollseyes Keep the drinks to a minimum and you'll be fine.


Teresa

[flkeyscouple]

Originally Posted by TNT

Ummmm, some advice from someone who has been known on occasion to drink a bit much in vanilla settings and then letting her mouth say things it really shouldn't :rollseyes Keep the drinks to a minimum and you'll be fine.

Geez Teresa... I thought you were gonna quote me - you described me to the tee!!!

Sarah

[TNT]

Originally Posted by flkeyscouple

Geez Teresa... I thought you were gonna quote me - you described me to the tee!!!

Sarah

What does it say about me when we had to come up with code words so that Ted could let me know I was pushing the envelope and I would not be allowed another drink that night. Bad me


Teresa

[sexyshelby]

Originally Posted by TNT

What does it say about me when we had to come up with code words so that Ted could let me know I was pushing the envelope and I would not be allowed another drink that night.

Actually thats not a bad idea. We might have to implement that soon. My boyfriend and I are both big flirts, he is especially flirtacious with the ladies at work. So they know it's just how he is. But when we are out drinking, it probably would be a good idea to have a code word to know when to ease up.

I do give "the look" when needed, but that can be too obvious to others and then they think I am angry with him.

~SS

[Spoomonkey]

Originally Posted by sexyshelby

Actually thats not a bad idea.

Yep...

As I have learned the hard way - a drunken confession is really tough to back out of...

Spoomonkey

[good times]

Yep, been there, done that, got the bruised ribs from Mrs. GT's elbow.

[Spoomonkey]

Originally Posted by good times

Yep, been there, done that, got the bruised ribs from Mrs. GT's elbow.

You know - I am truly amazed you even have ribs anymore

Spoomonkey

[MrsVan]

I know MrVan is on edge of how the evening will go because not only is he concerned about his flirting getting out of hand but more about my flirting. As MrVan has said these people have only seen me as quiet, shy and very reserved. They have never seen me as open as I have been over the last year.

I did tell MrVan that I am going to make sure that I wear jeans instead of a skirt as when I have too much to drink I tend to let people see areas that I dont think our vanilla friends (more the wives) would appreciate seeing.

MrVan has nothing to worry about as not only do the parents see him as a flirt but the boys on the team see him flirt with their mom's and know what kind of flirt he is.

MrsVan

[Mrs Spoomonkey]

I wouldn't worry too much but a couple of points the we have discovered in going out with vanilla co-workers.

1. they can be worse than we are :rollseyes

2. the bad thing about #1 is they look at flirting as cheating or issues at home so like someone else suggested be together when you are flirting or at least make sure you are showing a united front. No jealousy etc.

3. Don't drink too much. Know your limit and already have a plan ahead of time when to stop and to back each other up to be sure you both stay sober enough to control what you are saying and doing.

4. Have an exit plan If one of you notices it's past cut off time then have a reason for having to leave even if it's only an hour into it.

We've been there and done that too...well mostly Spoo as evidenced by past post about his mishaps.

Have fun and don't stress about it. I think you'll be surprised that you can actually have a good time with vanilla people. That's good not great or mind blowing

Mrs Spoomonkey

[MrFLKeysCouple]

If I remember correctly, tonight is the night.... how did it go with your Vanilla Party???

Inquiring Minds Want To Know!!!

EDIT... sorry, didn't know I was signed in under Roger's name.... this is Sarah!!

[VanHlebar]

Ok...so here is the update then Sarah.

We did decide to go out with the group. We showed up about 9ish and the place was already packed. Come to find out this was the Grand Opening of this particular club and they were having one of the hottest local bands there.

The rest of the group showed up around 10 or so, just as the band was getting started. We were bored out of our minds for the first two hours. We actually joked about 11 or so that we should leave now and we might still be able to make our Club for fun.

All of the ladies in the group kept going out on the dance floor and none of their husbands would go dance. Finally I had about as much as I could take and I took MrsVan out onto the dance floor. This is were the fun started, but also where things went downhill in a hurry.

We didn't get too out of hand I don't think, but folks saw a different side of us than they were used to. I had to constantly remind myself when I was dancing that I was supposed to stay with MrsVan and not wonder from lady to lady, but that didn't last long either. I was worried about MrsVan before we got there and it turned out I was the problem.

All in all we had a good time once we got out on the dance floor. We ended up staying until the bar closed and then we got a ride home with some friends. So we will see if later today at the game if we were too bad I guess.

-Van

[MrsVan]

Well, it appears that MrVan did not give the full story of the evening so I guess I will give the juicy details.

We arrived at the club around 9pm and over the course of the next hour we asked each other "why are we here?" and I said to MrVan " I guess I should have packed my bag " so we could sneak out and head to a LS club. Being at a vanilla club is such a tease. There was so many hot and sexy men and woman at the club but yet we could not approach them the same way we can at a LS club. But as the live band started up around 10pm and we had a few drinks in us we found ourselves not only chatting with the group we were with but also a group about our age that was sitting near by. At the table next to us was a group of 3 guys and a lady who were doing carbombs (shots) and as we watched them they started talking to us. The one guy of the group kept making comments to MrVan and I and we just laughed because if the guy only knew. He at one point said that he would pay money for me to get on the table and dance but MrVan told him that I would do it for free

Several of the parents on the team made several comments throughout the evening to us and it took everything we had to not say anything to them to give us away. We were struggling all night to watch what we say or do..However, that went down hill once MrVan decided to drag me out to the dance floor. We found ourselves dancing with spouses of the opposite sex and I at one point in the evening found 2 very hot guys that danced with me (I was in the middle of them both facelick ), one was Chinese and the friend of the guy asked me if I had ever been with a Chinese guy and I said "no but I am always willing to try something new. " The guys were shocked and then had asked when and I said now and they just looked at me and each other in shock..I then pointed out MrVan and told them to go ask him themselves, that MrVan would have no problem with it and the look on their face was priceless. The one guy ended up leaving "to go home to his wife" and the other guy and I continued to dance and it was getting to be naughty dancing but I was having a good time. Meanwhile, MrVan was having a good time dancing with some of the soccer moms nearby.

There was normal flirting going on throughout the evening and I think that if we ever get invited back to another outing with the soccer team parents, it will prove that we were not as bad as we may think they thought we were.

We thought we behaved very well and had a great time, but whether or not they thought we behaved is a different story.

We found out that the live band plays again in April so we have told the other parents that we need to plan for the next outing..So we will see.

MrsVan