A friend's lack of discretion

[intuition897]

Originally Posted by ohash01

I see what you are saying Spoo...but at the time we did it, it really made sense. Oh, look - here's someone we trust. I found him attractive enough to mess around with and he's VERY nice. Plus, we had his word that he wasn't going to tell anyone.

I don't completely subscribe to the "stay away from friends" school of thought...mainly because I've done it before and it's worked out perfectly well...this was just one bad incident, I think. Bad choice on our part, but I still believe swinging with a pre-swinging friend is possible in the right circustance.

I talked to J. more tonight and apparently it was one of those "M. had too much to drink and someone mentioned J. and the verbal diarrhea just started squirting out." J. has decided he WILL call him, but he needs another evening to figure out what to say and be tactful about it.

You have to agree that what M did was just stupid. He really needs someone to clue him in to that fact. So I agree that ONE of you should give him a call. If J. can't be calm and rational, then perhaps you should be the one to do it. I understand how you might not be as ruffled about it as J. I'm along the same lines as yourself, reasoning that no one believes a drunken blathering idiot bragging about an unlikely sexual conquest anyway. If you are ever questioned about it by his witnesses, you just roll your eyes and mumble "Whatever...and you say he drank HOW many?...Uh-huh..." But J., being a guy, understands the boys playground rules and M. broke a major one. So I can see why he's so upset. One of you needs to talk to M. and let him know that while he might a cool guy and otherwise a good friend, he is herewith "cut off". No more swinging nookie for M. He'll apologize his ass off and blame whatever substance was flowing through his veins that night, but that is besides the point. The bottom line is he broke the cardinal rule of the lifestyle: He kissed and told. Indiscretion about such things is WAY beyond a no-no. Way beyond uncool. This kind of bullshit loses people their friends, their jobs, their seat on the PTA, etc. It changes their lives and usually not for the better.

So if M. is still serious about being in the lifestyle, he just made things nearly impossible for himself. He's a single male (already on the bottom of the scrotum pole) with a big mouth and two experienced lifestyle (ex?) friends who could potentially screw his chances of EVER getting lucky in the lifestyle again. Duuuuuuh. That boy will have to seriously mend his ways.