Had an encounter with friends, worried about how it might affect our friendship

[welshfuncouple]

Just wanted a little feed back, My husband and me have had a few swinging experiences, But last night we done a full swap with a couple we have been friends with for 23 years ( since school ). We'd for a night out, lots of drinks, chatting. Both husbands have teased about us " doing a show for them " for a year or more. So last night we said, right, if you are sure lets go for it. We went home and had a fabulous night, The only thing i'm worried will it destroy our friendship. Is this just a little too close to home, Our families are all friends also. And we are godparents to thier 2 children. hs anyone any coments.

[Mr. Truelove]

That would be too close for us. Neighbors, Coworkers, friends, family members( I've heard it)....anything you can't just walk away from is a bad idea in my book.

What's done is done. Try to leave it has one good experience you all had together.

That's my 2 cents.

Mr. Truelove

[iapr]

The good news is that you can all 4 make a conscious choice that it will not destroy the relationship and that you will remain friends and work through all the emotional fallout that will come from this.


The bad news is you have forever impacted the dynamics of your friendship. You won't be able to look at each other in the same way again. I'm not saying that it is bad or good because I don't know any of the specifics of your friendship but your friendship is now different and those differences will have to be addressed. You will need to do a lot of communicating both with your spouse and with the other couple on how to deal with this.

There are a lot of potential issues with and only you will know what they will be and how you will need to deal with them.

[welshfuncouple]

thanks for your advice, i was most suprised how natral it all felt. and this morning when we got up, there was no arkwardness. we had a laugh over breakfst about it, and agreed it was good. all four of us said we wanted to do it again, but only when it happens, nothing arranged. i was happier having this close friend as a sex partner as we know thier history, and therefore have no fears about disease.

[Jamie&Kieth]

We have been swinging with this one couple for almost 20 years now. Yes we quite close and best of friends and our kids hang out with their children.

It is an ideal relationship, one that we would not change. The one key ingediant is that everybody involved must trust each other and be honest. If you are honest with each other perhaps your experience can continue, if not, hopefully if you are secure in your relationship you can remain as friends.

Good luck, any questions just ask!

[riswingcpl]

We once hooked up with a couple that we were friendly with...not close friends, but people we saw regularly in social settings...and it was a disaster. They had never done anything like that before, and didn't know how to handle it afterwards. The next time we saw them, the other wife was all over me like I was her husband...in front of VERY vanilla friends. We finally had to sit her down and tell her that what she was doing was not acceptable in public...to which she took great offense. It was a mess, and we will never do that again. Our motto is now...make friends of swingers, not swingers of friends. I don't know who made that saying up, but it sure works for us. We have another couple that we are very close friends with, and they have a strong suspicion that we swing...we know that by some of the "hinting" comments and questions. My wife has the hots for the guy in a big way, but we've learned our lesson and just won't go there with close friends again.

Your experience sounds like the stars were all aligned for the four of you. Hopefully, your friendship will only grow from here, and you won't have to deal with the issues we had to deal with. Good luck!!

[WesternSwing]

It doesn't have to wreck your friendship, but you will need to get some things and boundries straight with them.

Our motto is: "It's easier to make friends of swingers, than swingers of friends". Adding sex to an existing relationship almost always changes the dynamics of it. When you add friendship to a sexual relationship that part of it has already been defined.

Mr. WS

[welshfuncouple]

just like to thank you all for your advice and experiences. we have spoken at length about what happened, and yes we have repeated it. everything seems too good to be true, we all agree with the same do's and don'ts. we all agree we want to continue with both our long term friendship, and our new found sexual relatinship

[rw53aust]

Like you, we have a relationship with some long time friends (all the way back to highschool_and it couldnt be better. We are available to help overcome each others dry spells (like hospitalisation), to us it a perfect. While we are swingers they arent except with us, just a few times a year. Good on ya.

[mfmyeahbaby]

I felt the same way the first time we played. It was with a high school friend of mine who had always had a harmless comment or two about her boobs or something like that. This night she had mentioned doing something with him and to her surprise I agreed and went over to his house to personally invite and explain things. He later came over and she sucked both of us off. That started it all. The following week we tried our first full blown sexual experience with him. It was mostly her and him with me watching but none the less it was absolutely great. The next morning we ended up at the beach and just so happened he was there to. Now at that time I may have had the only jealously that there was to have, because seeing him at a distance and knowing that just the night before he had sex with my wife and we all loved it, what was he thinking. Well later that night we talked about it and did it again. Still do it today and that was 10 years ago, and it only got better. The whole relationship developed into this thing that not only feels great when it happens but has such respect there that it lingers afterwards. I would say that we were lucky because as you can imagine not all friends involvement can be this great. Be careful.

[oc1234]

My wife and I also had sex with a couple who were our best friends. Although my friend's wife and I really never hit it off, we are still very good friends even after she divorced my best friend. No, it had nothing to do with them having sex with us. And my best friend would have no problems with me having sex with his ex-wife, although I doubt that it will ever happen again.