Swinger friends losing interest?

[NandTfromCA]

After reading what I wrote, "them" almost makes it read like it is Mrs./Mr. Van, which is NOT the case.

Originally Posted by NandTfromCA

After reading what I wrote, "them" almost makes it read like it is Mrs./Mr. Van, which is NOT the case.

After checking out your profile, I would say that we wouldn't mind if it was you Too bad your so far away

Thanks for the post. It is nice to hear the other side of the story when it comes to the other couple just to get a better understanding of what to do in this type of situation.


MrsVan

Thanks everyone for posting! MrVan and I have decided to let the ball sit on their side of the court so to speak to see if there is any contact from them. We IM with them alot and at times we all call each other. So we figured if they are still interested in us that they will contact us. We are not going to be rude but we definetly need to feel the interest. As we have stated before we are also in this lifestyle for friends and we know not everyone that we meet is going to become friends for us and that is fine, but creating new friendships is also what we look for in others.

This past weekend as I posted this message, MrVan and I did not contact the other couple mostly because of our frustration but also to give everyone some space and see if they do contact us. Well, as it turns out on Sunday evening the wife texted MrVan to find out why we did not ask them to get together on Saturday evening and the husband asked me the same on Monday. We stated that we knew they had prior commitments going on and that they would not be available, which come to find out from them the commitment they had was not an all day thing. Therefore we have talked with them since and they stated that they would like to get together this week. MrVan and I are not opposed to this however we are letting them make the decisions and get back to us. After the many cancellations and asking if we want to get together and making plans for them to cancel, we figure it would be best just to see if they truely want to get together. MrVan and I enjoy their friendship and would hate to loose it but we also have to feel as if they are wanting the friendship as well. As for now we will wait to see what the week brings and if things change.

I do agree with many of you that it could be that the honeymoon stage for them is over and because it is not new anymore that they are loosing interest and we will see. But we also want them to be honest with us and not continue to waste everyone's time.

Again, thanks for the posts and we will keep you updated.

MrsVan

[NandTfromCA]

Originally Posted by MrsVan

After checking out your profile, I would say that we wouldn't mind if it was you Too bad your so far away

You're very sweet!!!

We feel the same about you and many of the couples on here.

Originally Posted by MrsVan

But we also want them to be honest with us and not continue to waste everyone's time.

We would make it easy for them to be honest too. In fact, if we were the ones on the side of the uncertainty, we'd probably just ask them what's up (giving them examples of their actions and our suspicion) with a clearly non-accusatory tone. We tend to error on the side of over-directness though.

[Edison Carter]

Susan here-- Well, people are people, regardless of whether you have sex with them. I would say let things go and see if they call you. Time to let them make an effort. No need for special chats or that conversation with the ultimatum or declaration. Just see if they call you. And some relationships just need to let go of. No crime in it, perhaps some disappointment, but the sun comes up tomorrow.

[good times]

Originally Posted by NandTfromCA

We would make it easy for them to be honest too. In fact, if we were the ones on the side of the uncertainty, we'd probably just ask them what's up (giving them examples of their actions and our suspicion) with a clearly non-accusatory tone. We tend to error on the side of over-directness though.

Dito that is what we do when this comes up too.

We have been in the position when a couple all of a sudden no longer contacted us. Being the way we are, we asked them straight out why they had stopped contacting us. It turned out that some casual comment I had made gave them the impression that we weren't interested in them any more. If we had chose to just sit back and wait and see we probably would have never heard from them again. Thats why we prefer to lay our cards on the table and confront problems or uncertainty with people as it comes up.