Friends as Swingers versus Sex Only Swingers

07-01-2002, 10:53 PM

One thing I have noticed in our short but very sweet exploration of the lifestyle is that there appear to be two kinds of swingers. Some people, lets call them "Category 1", think friendship with their partners is important and in the extreme value the friendship over the sex. "Category 2" people want to keep sex and friendship separate. I believe we are falling into "Category 2". We are beginning to prefer that our partners don't know too much about us. This has been an evolution. We started out "Category 1". How do you feel?

Quin · 07-01-2002, 11:14 PM

quote:
Originally posted by L & D:
One thing I have noticed in our short but very sweet exploration of the lifestyle is that there appear to be two kinds of swingers. Some people, lets call them "Category 1", think friendship with their partners is important and in the extreme value the friendship over the sex. "Category 2" people want to keep sex and friendship separate. I believe we are falling into "Category 2". We are beginning to prefer that our partners don't know too much about us. This has been an evolution. We started out "Category 1". How do you feel?

Personally, I like both categories. I have made some very great friends thru swinging and I value their friendship and them immensely. But then again, sometimes I don't want the person/couple to know much about me and have no desire to befriend them...this is when I go to the club.

My friendships with my swinger friends are just as my friendships are with my friends who don't swing, just that we include sex. We go shopping, some go on vacations together, we talk about our kids, jobs, homes, exchange recipes, heck one swinger friend even gave a Tupperware party and another a Mary Kay party. Two swinging friend couples I am extremely close to and I wouldn't trade their friendship for anonymous sex with anyone on anyday!

VOTE FOR JULIE!! [Blowjob]

Quin

md_hot_cpl · 07-02-2002, 05:56 AM

I hope to be in "Catagory 1" but haven't evolved that far yet as we are just into males right now and not couples... in the future.

I moved to Maryland 18 months ago and still don't have "a friend" (someone to go shopping with and do other girly things) but that is our fault and I'm working on it. (guess being newlyweds makes me want to spend most of my time with hubby [Wink]

) We need to find the right couple to swing with but we all know that is hard.

Sam (the wife)

ddrewd · 07-02-2002, 10:01 AM

This issue could be rephrased: Do you want to spend time with other swingers outside the bedroom?

In that sense, I'm category 1. Even though my traveling precludes developing deep face-to-face friendships, swingers are fun-loving people, just the sort of folks you want to go on an outing with. So I like spending time doing things they enjoy. That opens me up to new experiences. BTW, I'm going rock-climbing this afternoon. My first time ever. [Eek!]

Well, maybe I *should* stick to the bedroom!

Drew

***JustAskJulie*** · 07-02-2002, 10:25 AM

I'd say that we are both, depending on the people and the situation.

We usually do prefer to get to know couples that we play with outside the bedroom as well as inside as it just leads to more fun in general. You can hang out with these friends and discuss things you wouldn't be able to discuss with your "regular" friends, and at the end of the day after all that talk when you are 4 feeling randy you can head to the bedroom and have some great sex.

There are occasions tho, and I would say this occurs most often with single males for us (and probably mostly when I'm playing alone) that I just like to get it on. In those cases I will usually pick up a guy and play. The whether or not we become friends from that time I really leave in their ballpark. In some cases I have ended up with some great male friends that I/we were able to hang out with and have some great 3somes or 2somes with. Other times, they never called and I didn't worry about it.

Brian and Jo · 07-02-2002, 08:52 PM

I guess we fall into the first category most of the time. We are part of a group of several couples who have been swinging together for many years. We all have a professional and middle class background and know each other very well.We enjoy each other's company and friendship no matter what the circumstances. For example if we have a cocktail party our guest list will often include a mixture of our swinging and non-swinging friends. Clearly there is no sexual aspect to these parties. We have found over the years that swinging is a more complete experience when the participants have more in common than just an interest in swapping partners. On many occasions we have had a good conversation around the dinner table, paired off for the first fuck of the evening and then resumed the conversation while we rested up for the second round. Having said all that we do enjoy swinging with people we do not know all that well. That is one of the reasons why we have maintained our membership in a swing club and why we try to vacation at places like Key West where we can be assured that there will be some action. But swinging with our friends is our preferred choice.

07-02-2002, 09:28 PM

I don't remember where I read it, but on someone's profile here they said they didn't like "clinging vines". That is one reason we are leaning toward "Category 2". We just aren't interested in pursuing a long-term relationship with most of the people have seen in the lifestyle. The chemistry just isn't there. Our other reason for not wanting to get too familiar with our partners has to do fact that it is essential that we keep our true identity secrete for professional reasons.

[ 07-13-2002, 08:31 AM: Message edited by: L & D ]

incommunicado · 07-03-2002, 12:11 AM

For us, swinging has actually been limited to sex with a select few of our friends. These are people that we are close to, that stimulate us intellectually and emotionally, but also turn us on enough that we want to have sex with them.

We share a need to be connected intellectually and emotionally to the people we have sex with. The brain is, after all, the biggest sex organ.

We cast our vote with category 1. I don't think we would even have sex with a couple that we couldn't connect with on an emotional level. And, provided the sex was good, I can't imagine not wanting to make it a semi-regular thing.

mehim · 07-03-2002, 11:48 AM

we also have friends for all of our beginning when we started to swing ...and we never become clinging vines ...we talk on line go out to eat or campen even family outings. friendship is very treasures to us .and we would not miss it for the world ..the sex part is just like whipcream on icecream.two and two have to get together...

07-05-2002, 06:03 AM

I think what it boils down to is that there are different kinds of people in the world. Those who feel comfortable being emotionally intimate with casual acquaintances and those who do not. Just like there are those who fell comfortable being physically intimate with casual acquaintances and those who do not. It is unlikely that one kind of personality will ever truly understand the other.

[ 07-13-2002, 08:32 AM: Message edited by: L & D ]

ddrewd · 07-05-2002, 10:07 PM

quote:
Originally posted by L & D:
I think what it boils down to is that there are different kinds of people in the world.

The world is made up of two kinds of people: Those who believe the world is made up of two kinds of people...and those who don't.

Drew

mehim · 07-08-2002, 06:01 AM

The world is made up of two kinds of people: Those who believe the world is made up of two kinds of people...and those who don't.

Drew

deep down , i think we all the same , just act diffrently, and ,or dont want admit to our feelings .

07-08-2002, 06:30 AM

quote:
Originally posted by mehim:
...or dont want admit to our feelings .

Or perhaps, are just afraid to show them.

mehim · 07-09-2002, 07:33 AM

bevore we went in to this lifestyle we allways was hiding some of out true feelings. now we moore free to talk about things,and not ashamed to show, and ask what we realy want, and i must say ,it is a great feeling .now we ask ourselfs why we waited so long !!talking for myself im much happier this days and would not change a thing <me>

BedroomAccess · 07-11-2002, 02:16 AM

We are definately "Catgory 2" - simply because we are STD free and want to stay that way. If we play with couple we don't know - it's the way to get some diseases.

Another reason is we like to flirt with other couples outside of the bedroom and hanging out as friends gives us that opportunity.

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07-01-2002, 10:53 PM	#1 (permalink)
Len & Ding Posts: n/a	Friends as Swingers versus Sex Only Swingers One thing I have noticed in our short but very sweet exploration of the lifestyle is that there appear to be two kinds of swingers. Some people, lets call them "Category 1", think friendship with their partners is important and in the extreme value the friendship over the sex. "Category 2" people want to keep sex and friendship separate. I believe we are falling into "Category 2". We are beginning to prefer that our partners don't know too much about us. This has been an evolution. We started out "Category 1". How do you feel?

07-01-2002, 11:14 PM	#2 (permalink)
Quin Swingers Board Addict Join Date: May 2002 Posts: 1,136 Location: Ohio Status: Single Female	quote: Originally posted by L & D: One thing I have noticed in our short but very sweet exploration of the lifestyle is that there appear to be two kinds of swingers. Some people, lets call them "Category 1", think friendship with their partners is important and in the extreme value the friendship over the sex. "Category 2" people want to keep sex and friendship separate. I believe we are falling into "Category 2". We are beginning to prefer that our partners don't know too much about us. This has been an evolution. We started out "Category 1". How do you feel? Personally, I like both categories. I have made some very great friends thru swinging and I value their friendship and them immensely. But then again, sometimes I don't want the person/couple to know much about me and have no desire to befriend them...this is when I go to the club. My friendships with my swinger friends are just as my friendships are with my friends who don't swing, just that we include sex. We go shopping, some go on vacations together, we talk about our kids, jobs, homes, exchange recipes, heck one swinger friend even gave a Tupperware party and another a Mary Kay party. Two swinging friend couples I am extremely close to and I wouldn't trade their friendship for anonymous sex with anyone on anyday! VOTE FOR JULIE!! Quin __________________ One thing about me is that I'm consistant in my behavior, my thoughts, and my posting. I don't sell out or change for any reason outside of my own self wanting to. What you see is what you get: today, tomorrow and every day after that.

07-02-2002, 05:56 AM	#3 (permalink)
md_hot_cpl Active Member Join Date: Jun 2002 Posts: 34 Location: Maryland	I hope to be in "Catagory 1" but haven't evolved that far yet as we are just into males right now and not couples... in the future. I moved to Maryland 18 months ago and still don't have "a friend" (someone to go shopping with and do other girly things) but that is our fault and I'm working on it. (guess being newlyweds makes me want to spend most of my time with hubby ) We need to find the right couple to swing with but we all know that is hard. Sam (the wife)

07-02-2002, 10:01 AM	#4 (permalink)
ddrewd Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Jun 2002 Posts: 123 Location: On the road in Oklahoma Status: Single Male	This issue could be rephrased: Do you want to spend time with other swingers outside the bedroom? In that sense, I'm category 1. Even though my traveling precludes developing deep face-to-face friendships, swingers are fun-loving people, just the sort of folks you want to go on an outing with. So I like spending time doing things they enjoy. That opens me up to new experiences. BTW, I'm going rock-climbing this afternoon. My first time ever. Well, maybe I should stick to the bedroom! Drew __________________ Drew Coming to a theatre near you!

07-02-2002, 10:25 AM	#5 (permalink)
*JustAskJulie* Your Hostess Join Date: Nov 2002 Posts: 24,504 Location: In my House Status: Female Swing Lifestyle Name:swingersboard Blog Entries: 75	I'd say that we are both, depending on the people and the situation. We usually do prefer to get to know couples that we play with outside the bedroom as well as inside as it just leads to more fun in general. You can hang out with these friends and discuss things you wouldn't be able to discuss with your "regular" friends, and at the end of the day after all that talk when you are 4 feeling randy you can head to the bedroom and have some great sex. There are occasions tho, and I would say this occurs most often with single males for us (and probably mostly when I'm playing alone) that I just like to get it on. In those cases I will usually pick up a guy and play. The whether or not we become friends from that time I really leave in their ballpark. In some cases I have ended up with some great male friends that I/we were able to hang out with and have some great 3somes or 2somes with. Other times, they never called and I didn't worry about it. __________________ Julie Owner/ Admin http://www.swingersboard.com

07-02-2002, 08:52 PM	#6 (permalink)
Brian and Jo Brian and Jo Join Date: May 2002 Posts: 243 Location: Ontario Status: Couple Blog Entries: 3	I guess we fall into the first category most of the time. We are part of a group of several couples who have been swinging together for many years. We all have a professional and middle class background and know each other very well.We enjoy each other's company and friendship no matter what the circumstances. For example if we have a cocktail party our guest list will often include a mixture of our swinging and non-swinging friends. Clearly there is no sexual aspect to these parties. We have found over the years that swinging is a more complete experience when the participants have more in common than just an interest in swapping partners. On many occasions we have had a good conversation around the dinner table, paired off for the first fuck of the evening and then resumed the conversation while we rested up for the second round. Having said all that we do enjoy swinging with people we do not know all that well. That is one of the reasons why we have maintained our membership in a swing club and why we try to vacation at places like Key West where we can be assured that there will be some action. But swinging with our friends is our preferred choice.

07-02-2002, 09:28 PM	#7 (permalink)
Len & Ding Posts: n/a	I don't remember where I read it, but on someone's profile here they said they didn't like "clinging vines". That is one reason we are leaning toward "Category 2". We just aren't interested in pursuing a long-term relationship with most of the people have seen in the lifestyle. The chemistry just isn't there. Our other reason for not wanting to get too familiar with our partners has to do fact that it is essential that we keep our true identity secrete for professional reasons. [ 07-13-2002, 08:31 AM: Message edited by: L & D ]

07-03-2002, 12:11 AM	#8 (permalink)
incommunicado Swingers Board Addict Join Date: May 2002 Posts: 145 Location: Baltimore, MD	For us, swinging has actually been limited to sex with a select few of our friends. These are people that we are close to, that stimulate us intellectually and emotionally, but also turn us on enough that we want to have sex with them. We share a need to be connected intellectually and emotionally to the people we have sex with. The brain is, after all, the biggest sex organ. We cast our vote with category 1. I don't think we would even have sex with a couple that we couldn't connect with on an emotional level. And, provided the sex was good, I can't imagine not wanting to make it a semi-regular thing.

07-03-2002, 11:48 AM	#9 (permalink)
mehim Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Jan 2002 Posts: 143 Location: ks Status: couple	we also have friends for all of our beginning when we started to swing ...and we never become clinging vines ...we talk on line go out to eat or campen even family outings. friendship is very treasures to us .and we would not miss it for the world ..the sex part is just like whipcream on icecream.two and two have to get together... __________________ sex is like math, first you subtract the clothes,add the bed, divided the legs and hope you do not multiply at the end "

07-05-2002, 06:03 AM	#10 (permalink)
Len & Ding Posts: n/a	I think what it boils down to is that there are different kinds of people in the world. Those who feel comfortable being emotionally intimate with casual acquaintances and those who do not. Just like there are those who fell comfortable being physically intimate with casual acquaintances and those who do not. It is unlikely that one kind of personality will ever truly understand the other. [ 07-13-2002, 08:32 AM: Message edited by: L & D ]

07-05-2002, 10:07 PM	#11 (permalink)
ddrewd Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Jun 2002 Posts: 123 Location: On the road in Oklahoma Status: Single Male	quote: Originally posted by L & D: I think what it boils down to is that there are different kinds of people in the world. The world is made up of two kinds of people: Those who believe the world is made up of two kinds of people...and those who don't. Drew __________________ Drew Coming to a theatre near you!

07-08-2002, 06:01 AM	#12 (permalink)
mehim Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Jan 2002 Posts: 143 Location: ks Status: couple	The world is made up of two kinds of people: Those who believe the world is made up of two kinds of people...and those who don't. Drew deep down , i think we all the same , just act diffrently, and ,or dont want admit to our feelings . __________________ sex is like math, first you subtract the clothes,add the bed, divided the legs and hope you do not multiply at the end "

07-08-2002, 06:30 AM	#13 (permalink)
Len & Ding Posts: n/a	quote: Originally posted by mehim: ...or dont want admit to our feelings . Or perhaps, are just afraid to show them.

07-09-2002, 07:33 AM	#14 (permalink)
mehim Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Jan 2002 Posts: 143 Location: ks Status: couple	bevore we went in to this lifestyle we allways was hiding some of out true feelings. now we moore free to talk about things,and not ashamed to show, and ask what we realy want, and i must say ,it is a great feeling .now we ask ourselfs why we waited so long !!talking for myself im much happier this days and would not change a thing <me> __________________ sex is like math, first you subtract the clothes,add the bed, divided the legs and hope you do not multiply at the end "

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07-11-2002, 02:16 AM	#15 (permalink)
BedroomAccess Active Member Join Date: Mar 2002 Posts: 24 Location: CA	We are definately "Catgory 2" - simply because we are STD free and want to stay that way. If we play with couple we don't know - it's the way to get some diseases. Another reason is we like to flirt with other couples outside of the bedroom and hanging out as friends gives us that opportunity.

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