Friends as Swingers versus Sex Only Swingers

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Originally posted by BayCouples.com:
We are definately "Catgory 2" - simply because we are STD free and want to stay that way. If we play with couple we don't know - it's the way to get some diseases.

Another reason is we like to flirt with other couples outside of the bedroom and hanging out as friends gives us that opportunity.

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I give up!
I never meant that we didn't think it was important to get to know your sexual partners just that you don't need to become friends. The majority of people here seem to equate familiarity with friendship! Believe me there is a big difference! There are a lot of people that I know a lot about but would never consider friends. And bty flirting is fun we do it all the time at dances and parties. Would never just consider just bumping into someone and banging them.

I think I need to leave this discussion group because I just can't seem to make my self understood. Pity, I have learned to much here.

[ 07-11-2002, 06:07 AM: Message edited by: L & D ]

[mehim]

maby just maby i say ..you guys are still to new in this lifestyle , but how would you learn if you dont try...try to understand others ,and just have fun and dont attack everybody who has a diffrent oppinion..good luck in what ever you doing!!<mehim>

[JustAskJulie]

L&D,

I think the problem here is a difference of opinion on friendship. Personally, I think htere are different levels of friendship. To me a friend is someone that you trust and can rely on to do the right thing and not lie to you.

You can't do that with someone you just met or an acquaintance.

Beyond basic friendship you have best friends and friends that go beyond that to being someone you would almost consider family. And yes I'm sure some people's swinging partners do fall into these latter categories but I think that most people when they refer to friends are referring to the first category. And by that no they don't mean someone they just met that day and exchanged a few pleasantries with at a club.

Different people have different views of friendship as well as different views of swinging. Yes you do have to be able to seperate love and sex as you mentioned in another topic but I don't think you have to seperate friendship and sex. Isn't that what "fuck buddies" are all about? Basically, people that you can hang out and do things with outside of the bedroom, have a conversation with, flirt with, etc and when things get hot and bothered you can also have sex with them.

You've come a long way in just a few short months from not really being interested in the lifestyle and just hoping to find some places to vacation to getting interested and having to explain it to your wife, to getting your wife interested, to soft-swinging and just recently to full-swap. That's quite a lot of steps to take in the short time you've done it. Everyone comes into this differently with different views of what they want. As they learn more and explore more often those views change as they realize that what they thought they "knew" wasn't necessarily the way things are. I'm not saying you are wrong, I just think that you are misunderstanding what other people are saying.