Should we explore this? Swinging with a friend

[EvilMJ]

Should we explore this?

Big Old NO.

You already know why not, you posted it very clearly. You don't want to go there and I think most people would support you in that decision.

[The Fuse]

Originally Posted by Mike and Jan

It does sound like he's just wanting to get laid.

If he just wanted to get laid, it would be easy for him. He wants a lot more than that. I'm not wavering any more -- thanks in large part to the great people who've replied here, my head is screwed on straight now about this.

Originally Posted by Mike and Jan

If you and your husband are really that close friends with him then I'd think you should simply confide in him first that you two have experimented in swinging. No details, just let him know that you've done it, worked through the usual problems, liked it and will likely continue in ideal situations.

Now if his immediate reaction is that since you've done it with other men you'll certainly do it with him then I'd back off. He just didn't get it.

But if it leads to a real conversation about all the positive aspects of swinging then find out if he'd also be OK with his wife being with others. And, get his permission to talk to her.

It seems that you would like to be with him about as much as he wants you so maybe it'd be better for your husband to talk to his wife. Or at least the two of you together so you don't get traped having to admit to her how many times her husband has hit on you. Perhaps all four of you could approach the topic during a game of Truth or Dare or something.

But, unless she agrees without reservations I'd forget it. And if she agrees let her set all boundaries. She's likely going to feel defensive.

Who knows? It just might open up a whole new world for her. But it sure could cause more problems with thier marriage too. Tip toe and use extreme caution.

Good luck to you,

Rich

I think what I will do is talk to him about whether she might have a hormonal issue that keeps her from wanting sex. I don't feel comfortable talking to her about these things. While she and I have been friends, I'm not close to her. And like another poster mentioned, I don't really know how she feels.

But in summary, things will just keep going the way they are. I'll back away from the "jokes" I made. Including him in our sex life would likely end up a Very Bad Idea. At the very least, I'd be trying to fill a void that he should not be filling outside his marriage. I care for him, but I definitely disagree with his approach on the whole "I need intimacy and I'm entitled to cheat" thing.

I'd love to open up a new world for her though, because it would help both of them. Just knowing her, I don't think it's likely. I'll plant a seed, as Additude suggested.

Thanks again to everyone -- you have helped me move off the fence onto the safe side.

[Darkblue]

I havnet read the reply to this thread but reading your post!! a big NO, it would only cause upset and hurt to all partys!! so dont, i have a school friend who i do love in my way and i would love to spend the night with her she is the same but we dont as it would change our friendship,i have known her since i was 14 and i have loved her since i met her but it wasnt to be and i wouldnt chance our friendship now for a night of sex..

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO

Steve