Friends with others in the lifestyle?

[sereneiders]

Originally Posted by curious24

One of the reasons why I even asked is that I had been swapping short and sweet messages with this one lady (like one sentence messages and a total of maybe 5 messages). Then out of the blue she asked me if I wanted to join her and another couple. I asked if the other couple had a profile and if so if I could see it. I never heard from her again. I thought that was really strange to say the least.

When I read Chicup's responce something in me seemed to click and go AH HA! It seems maybe I have been approaching this wrong? Ultimately I'd really like to have a friendship with people I play with. At the same time I would like to have a conversation with someone before playing with them you know? I guess I'm just not used to people just saying on the first email come over and fuck. Maybe I should change my expectations?

I misunderstood the original question purpose.

I don't believe you should change your expectatives, and up to me it is a great thing to want to relate with people besides having sex, or have a conversation. Anyway, I wouldn't define that as a friendship, but a nice way to start up, and well, eventualy, that could lead to a friendship.

About what actually happend with this lady, I believe you made a mistake when you asked to know the profiles from the people she was up to introduce you. When she did so, she was showing certain degree of confidence and trust on you, that was enough as to introduce you to third ones, something that could be seen as a friendly attitude and aproach, which in turn were suposed to require a similar attitude from your side, for example, showing her the same degree of confidence and trust in her criteria and motivations to introduce you to her friends.

But when you asked to know their profiles, you exposed that you didn't trusted in her criteria (including the care she may had for you as a friend), thus she may be feeling deprecated.

Anyway, this mistake doesn't seem to be that serious if you take an initiative to fix things up. It's a valuable thing from a friend to know he or she is able to ewognize a mistake, appologize and learn from the experience as to avoid repeating the same mistake, and you may show that.

I believe friendhisp is something worth to fight for, and fighting for it is a way to show your interest and construct the relationship, so, don't give up on this one.