Should we swing with our FB and his new girlfriend?

[BradAndJanet]

Originally Posted by curiousagain

...Those girls that act and dress the most prim and proper in public are the ones that leave you quivering in exhaustion in the bedroom oftentimes.

Ain't that the truth?

-B

[curiousagain]

Why do you think a woman with long hair put up, sensible glasses, proper blouse, and long but flowing skirt with spiked boots makes men get all weak kneed. There's the hint of a fire smoldering that is just waiting to be let out.

[VegasLee]

From Coyote Ugly:

"You look like an kindergarten teacher and men all have a little kid in their pants, they will love you!"

[taomaster]

Originally Posted by Vespertine

We didn't tell her because we didn't think it would go over well with her. You have to admit, there are certain types of people who can't handle hearing something like that.

That's a tough one. On the one hand, you've 'taken her power away' by deciding for her that 'she can't handle hearing something'. On the other hand, your intuition may be correct.

You do have one big problem however, the three of you know something she doesn't. On some level she'll pick up on that and that makes it really hard to trust. I suspect you'll need to get this information out in the open if it's going to work out well.

Otherwise she would have every right to feel a bit manipulated.

[EvilMJ]

Ves,

I think you would be doing the right thing by having a chat first and telling her all she needs to know, and give her the chance to be able to deal with everything before things go any further. If she can handle that, then.. have at it I say....anything in the name of fun.

...and I wonder why I always get into trouble....

I wouldn't write her off completely.

I remember a few years back I shocked a bunch of people I worked with by having a rather torid evening with a particularly hot young waiter in the restaurant I worked at....they all thought I was this quiet, sweet church going girl.....to this day I have no idea why they thought that...but nevertheless..don't base your judement strickly on appereance as some of us may surprise you.

[wiscpl]

We have recently entered into the similar situation and in our experience it hasn't gone well. The male is half of a former couple we once played with. After he met his girlfriend, now wife, he told her about his past as a swinger feeling it was important for her to know his sexual history. At that time she had no interest but over time became interested and curious about being with another woman.
Make a long story short, we met her and eventually her and mrs. wiscpl played which both enjoyed very much. Now she has completely changed her mind about swinging and canceled a few dates we had scheduled. What's important is their relationship. If she's not interested and he loves her he should respect that and not expect anything further. If she changes her mind later on great, if not, oh well. We are taking a step back from their relationship and if things change will think deeply about becoming involved.

[adventureUS2]

Originally Posted by curiousagain

I have to agree with LM here. Besides, maybe it's just me, but successful swingers seem so in love with each other that swinging is extension of their sex life, not all of it. If he loves swinging more than her, I honestly don't think he loves her enough to swing with her. I have thought about it a lot and kinda waffled back and forth for awhile, but have decided if I loved someone enough to marry them, I would love them enough to swing with them or not swing at all.

Enough said Dito Dito Dito Dito

[Vespertine]

Originally Posted by curiousagain

Besides, maybe it's just me, but successful swingers seem so in love with each other that swinging is extension of their sex life, not all of it. If he loves swinging more than her, I honestly don't think he loves her enough to swing with her. I have thought about it a lot and kinda waffled back and forth for awhile, but have decided if I loved someone enough to marry them, I would love them enough to swing with them or not swing at all.

Just to clear a little something up....

They are a younger couple that are exclusive with eachother at this time, but not ready to settle down yet. They don't even live together. The relationship is still too new for marriage or lifelong commitment to even be a consideration.

[Vespertine]

Oh!

I forgot to update. We went out with them on Friday. We were with a group of vanilla friends, so I didn't get a chance to have a girl-to-girl chat. However, she was paying extra special attention to my husband.

[JustAskJulie]

I'm curious if you have attempted to sit down with her woman to woman and talk about all of this to find out how she is feeling? She might be more open with you in that regards than she would be with the guy - and tell you straight out if she is just doing this to please him or if she is really up for it. Even if she doesn't tell you straight out, as a woman to woman you should be able to get a pretty good idea of how she is feeling.

I just read your last post, so I'm assuming this is something you are wanting to do but haven't yet. I would definately do this before you make any decisions of how or if you should help break her in.

[Vespertine]

You're right about that, Julie.

I won't feel comfortable with anything until I can feel her out by myself. I haven't had the chance to talk to her quietly yet. I'm not close enough to her where I'd feel comfortable calling her up to discuss this. Which, in itself, is probably a red flag.

[DandS]

Vespertine,

Are you close enough with her to call her for lunch or perhaps a Saturday afternoon shopping trip to the mall? Maybe if you're in a more relaxed, neutral environment without the men around she will be more at ease in discussing her true feelings on the subject.

D

[lostnwilds]

Why Dont You And Her Get To Geather And Talk Tell Her Your Conserns And See What She Says ... Allways Better To Ask A Question Than To Sit In The Dark

[Vespertine]

I forgot all about this thread.

We decided not to get involved with them for all the obvious reasons.