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Your neighbor may be a swinger if...

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It's Monday so I thought we all could use a fun post to kick off the week. I just read a thread about "indicators or signs" about how you can identify yourself as a swinger which reminded me of a fun podcast I heard where they listed off all the ways you may be able to tell if your neighbor, co-worker, etc is a swinger.

 

So I'll kick it off...

 

If you see your neighbor's wife headed out the door in a trenchcoat on a Saturday night...in August...well, they just may be swingers. :D

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If your neighborhood runs out of curbside parking every weekend and people seem to be coming to visit wearing long coats... or dragging in "camping gear" each weekend.

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If your neighbor gets a hot tub, installs privacy fencing, and never invites you over to use it . . .

 

=)

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Your neighbors are out to parties all the time but never can remember how they met all those people... :D

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Your neighbour goes around with a REALLY big smile on her face the day after you heard all that splashing from the hot tub

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Everyone brings gym bags and coolers. 15 cars in the yard. The house doesn't have a pool and nobody goes outside during the party.

 

When the neighbors ask what's going on you say, "it's an Amway party", then the neighbors says thanks and runs home to avoid you and the party:hahaha:

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The FEAR, The HORROR.. most of my neighbors are SSSC's

 

Sexy Senile Senior Citizens!!

 

Your neighbor might be a SWINGER if... They show up at the post office in a SB t Shirt!!

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When your neighbors have strange visitors late at night that always pull their car into the garage and shut the door while the neighbor's car is parked at the curb.

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If they stop coming to the neighborhood block parties because they always have "other plans" on Saturday nights.

 

=)

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You're neighbors might be swingers if they refer to going out with another couple as a date.

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You're neighbors might be swingers if they ware a t-shirt that says "SWINGERS BOARD" on the front and the back says "Vanilla.... OR..... Can't Make Up Your Mind?"::t-shirt::lol:

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If the guy getting dressed next to you at the gym is very neatly trimmed...and I'm not talking about his beard (oh wait, I'm looking at myself in the mirror again)

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You see your neighbors out with their friends and you notice that the neighbors aren't sitting beside their spouses....and are awfully chummy with the other couples' spouses.

 

Pepper

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Your neighbors might be swingers if they don't seem to know any of their friends last names. If they only know people as "Joe and Sally" or "Bob and Diane" they just might be swingers.

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When you see people pulling up and walking in to your neighbors house in a "slut wear theme outfits"....... They might be swingers ?

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Your neighbors might be swingers if they don't seem to know any of their friends last names. If they only know people as "Joe and Sally" or "Bob and Diane" they just might be swingers.

 

Winner.

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When you ask, so how did you guys meet? And you're met with blank stares and nervous giggling...

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They are always going out dancing "at a club", but can't seem to remember the name of it.

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Your neighbours may be swingers if you see a couple arrive without any luggage and their car is still in the driveway in the morning.

 

Or, your neighbours may be swingers if they accept your invitation to skinny-dip in your pool/hot tub and you discover that they both completely shave their pubic hair.

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Your neighbors might be swingers if they don't seem to know any of their friends last names. If they only know people as "Joe and Sally" or "Bob and Diane" they just might be swingers.

 

That is probably the most true of them all!!!

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You have had dinner with your neighbors at a restaurant. Both couples drove going there separately and with their spouses. After dinner they invite you to their home for a nightcap and on some pretext they suggest that you (the wife) ride with her hubby and she rides with your hubby. A ceratin give away that they are swingers and would like to swap mates for more than a car ride, read sex.

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If you go over to visit the neighbors and they ask if you'd like a drink, and you realize as they are mixing it that all of their alcohol bottles have labels with their names on them!

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If you go over to visit the neighbors and they ask if you'd like a drink, and you realize as they are mixing it that all of their alcohol bottles have labels with their names on them!

 

Perfect :) Major points with that one.

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These examples are Europe-centric, but I don't care.

 

She comes over to your house in the middle of the night to "borrow" a bottle of wine.

 

They live nude (backyard sunbathing, putting on a robe to get the morning paper), but greet "certain guests" in workday attire.

 

All of their conversations turn into sex talk, no matter the initial topic. "The Holocaust was a tragedy." "Yes, we know. All of those poor gassed people, huddling naded and exposed in those chambers. Did you know that most men become erect when they die?" {Looks over at wife}

 

Their "church" is more than a hour away from their house. And they live a block away from a perfectly good church of the same denomination. (Gas is expensive in Europe)

 

You go to a club, and the owner walks over to you and tells you that one of his customers was able to describe your exact outfit. And body size and complection. Then he tells you that you drove away a good customer.

 

You always see her at the local watering hole's "Ladies Night". With her wedding ring firmly on her finger.

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Don't want to hijack this thread, but a funny thing happened to me...

 

Okay, I'm a cab driver. A few weeks ago I was sent to pick up some people at about 2am Sunday morning. At the house two couples in their 30s came out, exchanged affectionate goodbyes, and one couple climbed into the car. As soon as they were in I could smell they had both just had a shower ... you know, that warm, soapy smell.

 

Ever since then I've been trying to think of a reason why you would have a shower at a friend's place just before going home.

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Ever since then I've been trying to think of a reason why you would have a shower at a friend's place just before going home.

 

No other reason I can think of!

 

If you hear two women moaning through your neighbour's accidentally left-open window...they might be swingers.

 

If their company leaves really early in the morning...they might be swingers.

 

And if the lady half of their company leaves their house with a big smile and a massive knot in the hair on the back of her head...you can pretty safely assume they're swingers.

 

If you deliver Chinese food to their house, you hear a lot of laughter/voices inside and the man shows up on the doorstep to retrieve it sporting a housecoat, a big smile, and a woody you could hang the take-out bag on...they might be swingers.

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